you can help your child by reaching out to parents of potential friendly kids and organizing playdates (the message can go through teacher). This is getting close to last years you can do that (after 2nd grade it starts getting weirder).

Sometimes it takes time for a child to find their crew. It is not easy. I would help (i did that when my child was an introverted pre-schooler and i have always cultivated playdates to help her. She is in 4th grade and has tons of friends and doesnt need my help anymore)

There is no class / school list at my kid's school so it's very difficult to invite kids in the fall from a whole new cohort unless you know the families from something else. We usually get way more birthday party invites after the new year. The fall has been quiet birthday party wise 3 years in a row with a new group of classmates so I think this is normal.

I do think in 1st grade you start seeing more of a mixed bag when it comes to birthday parties. There's full class parties, single gender, small group of friends, friends from different groups, family parties, etc.

Regardless of parties, since you are a newer family I would do more in terms of playdates. We were a new family and just 2-3 playdates help put my DD on the radar of other kids and families. We don't really do after school ones since we're in private schools and weekdays are hard to get together. So I try for weekends and random holidays/professional development days. Since it seems like your DD is friendly and open to different kids look at all the girls in her class as potential friends. Ask her if there's any one that she would definitely not want over and then reach out to the rest. Some families are more open than others.

Anonymous wrote:Times are tough. Parents are not really wanting to shell out lots of $$$ on a birthday party anymore.

Also many people are a$&holes.

It has not been whole class invite bday party since my kid was in K. If there is any invitation, my boy is invited by boy only. My girl's personality is more friendly and nicer, so she gets invited to both from both boy and girl.

We are busy, so we have not reached out to any for playdates.

I will say my second-grader who I know has a lot of friends has only been invited to one party … and we didn’t go because we were too overbooked. I opted for a special outing with just our family for his November birthday because it’s easier than hosting, he’s happy, and I am burned out. This is anecdotal, of course, but sharing in case helpful… big parties or parties of any size aren’t always happening.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do recommend supporting playdates, at least once. When my child talks a lot about a particular friend at school, I'll ask if they want a playdate, and if so, I'll send a note with my phone number to school with the kid, to give to the other kid to give to their parent. I've gotten in touch with the parent by text that way, and once you have each other's info, it's very easy to send invites to bday parties, playdates, etc.

I’m new and have reached out to two people for playdates. One never responded (their kid knows I emailed mom because my kid has talked about it) and one said (sure but we are busy! And that was 3 months ago). I don’t get the sense that people want to have play dates in elementary. Or they don’t want to with my kid

You are right. Just drop it. It is more likely they just don’t want to (too busy, too far, don’t feel up to the coordination). Doubt it is personal.

Just involve your daughter in things outside of school like sports and clubs

Anonymous wrote:Why is there so much angst on this board about birthday parties and playdates? So much social comparison going on, and for what? So you can feel bad? I guarantee your child isn’t worrying about this. So much insecurity among the parents on this board.

I don’t get it either. It would never occur to me to fret over birthday parties and play dates. We are busy as it is and my kids are happy and social. It makes no difference to them (or me) how many of these things they go to

Times are tough. Parents are not really wanting to shell out lots of $$$ on a birthday party anymore.

Anonymous wrote:I guess I’ll ask that second mom again. But I don’t like to be the one asking twice because if people secretly want to decline I don’t want to force them into an uncomfortable position. I don’t know what to make of email ignoring mom. Our kids play together at school and the teacher has told me they are pretty much best buds.

I recommend following up with both - sometimes I ignore emails because I'm too overwhelmed to respond in the moment, and then so much time passes that it feels more and more awkward, and eventually I just never respond. Likewise with the mom who was busy, I'd recommend proposing a specific date/time and offering to have the kids over to your house, if your first message was, "We should get the kids together sometime!" or the like.