Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let's see ...
I did not post about this previously
My BMI is 21.
Other than around pregnancy, hers was always around 23-24, but it incrased in the past couple years to 27-28. that's official overweight.
To the people who said things like "it's her body", get a grip. I didn't say I was going to try to force her to lose weight, and I'm not trying to "control" her body, just that I would tell her that's what I would like.
To the people who think looks don't matter, stop projecting, or examine your own preferences more closely. They matter to many people. Maybe not weight to everyone, maybe other aspects of appearance to some people. But they matter. And I don't see anything wrong with that. I try to stay attractive to her, and I want her to try for me.
Yes, she knows she's gained weight. Of course she knows. But she's not trying to lose it. If I tell her I would like her to, maybe that would help motivate her.
Do I have a plan? Sure, I have ideas, but I doubt she'd listen to me. Again, I'm mainly hoping this could motivate her.
I've never said this sort of thing to her before. Never needed to. After the pregnancies, she lost the weight. And beyond that, she generally maintained it.
I don't think time is a barrier. She has enough time to lose weight.
If she's actively working on it and progressing, okay. I wouldn't encourage a fast weight loss anyway; that would lead her to put it right back on.
I don't have droopy balls, but that would be out of my control, just like her wrinkles are out of her control and I would not say anything aobut that. But weight is controllable.
Anonymous wrote:With your BMI over 20, you are also overweight. Stop feeling so smug about yourself.
Anonymous wrote:OP - her weight gain could be a deliberate or unconscious way of keeping you away from her physically. A literal barrier. Not all woman / people do that, but I can see that my weight gain was totally about feeling shit off from my body and pleasure and not wanting to have sex with XH anymore.
And / or she may be drepressed etc.
Your “simple request” may be helpful to her in forcing clarity around her true feelings for you and your relationship.
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let's see ...
I did not post about this previously
My BMI is 21.
Other than around pregnancy, hers was always around 23-24, but it incrased in the past couple years to 27-28. that's official overweight.
To the people who said things like "it's her body", get a grip. I didn't say I was going to try to force her to lose weight, and I'm not trying to "control" her body, just that I would tell her that's what I would like.
To the people who think looks don't matter, stop projecting, or examine your own preferences more closely. They matter to many people. Maybe not weight to everyone, maybe other aspects of appearance to some people. But they matter. And I don't see anything wrong with that. I try to stay attractive to her, and I want her to try for me.
Yes, she knows she's gained weight. Of course she knows. But she's not trying to lose it. If I tell her I would like her to, maybe that would help motivate her.
Do I have a plan? Sure, I have ideas, but I doubt she'd listen to me. Again, I'm mainly hoping this could motivate her.
I've never said this sort of thing to her before. Never needed to. After the pregnancies, she lost the weight. And beyond that, she generally maintained it.
I don't think time is a barrier. She has enough time to lose weight.
If she's actively working on it and progressing, okay. I wouldn't encourage a fast weight loss anyway; that would lead her to put it right back on.
I don't have droopy balls, but that would be out of my control, just like her wrinkles are out of her control and I would not say anything aobut that. But weight is controllable.
Anonymous wrote:I hope she tells you to STFU. If she has any self-respect.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:20% just… isn’t that much? So let’s say she went from 130 to… 156?? Hardly enough to feel like it’s something to bring up to her! Post her actual stats bc if it’s something like 130—>156 and she’s taller than 5 feet even, this is a joke.
I was thinking the same thing. And is this weight gain since they started dating?
So, what, she weighs 25lbs more at 40 than she did at 20, and she gained a lot of it during pregnancy with your kids?
Is this really that big of a deal?
You apparently didn't read the post. The weight gain he's talking about is just in the past couple years, long after the babies.
Ok so she is menopausal (9 years after the last kid could easily be late 40s) and gained a little weight. Extremely common. Many many women say they need to eat only 1200 calories a day post menopause to not gain any weight. Which is very very little. Again if it’s something like 130 to 156 in someone approaching 50, I do not see any issue.
This is my story. The calorie reduction/low carb/higher protein plans I’ve used before are not working on my peri-menopausal 50 year old body. It’s so frustrating b/c I can’t live off of 1200 calories a day and be a mentally healthy person.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:20% just… isn’t that much? So let’s say she went from 130 to… 156?? Hardly enough to feel like it’s something to bring up to her! Post her actual stats bc if it’s something like 130—>156 and she’s taller than 5 feet even, this is a joke.
I was thinking the same thing. And is this weight gain since they started dating?
So, what, she weighs 25lbs more at 40 than she did at 20, and she gained a lot of it during pregnancy with your kids?
Is this really that big of a deal?
You apparently didn't read the post. The weight gain he's talking about is just in the past couple years, long after the babies.
Ok so she is menopausal (9 years after the last kid could easily be late 40s) and gained a little weight. Extremely common. Many many women say they need to eat only 1200 calories a day post menopause to not gain any weight. Which is very very little. Again if it’s something like 130 to 156 in someone approaching 50, I do not see any issue.