Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As though aftercare isn't a Lord of the Flies free for all...

Yeah, I'm trying to understand why folks think aftercare or summer day camp is part of this particular problem. Both after care and traditional day camps (not talking about academic or specialty camps) are A LOT of unstructured play and a lot of it is outside and active. At my DD's camp last year she had a big free swim every afternoon (no different than going to the pool with friends) and overall I'd say a good 60% of the day was unstructured hanging out with peers -- jumping on trampolines, swinging in hammocks, making friendship bracelets and chatting, stuff like that... Certainly no screens! My kindergarten niece looooooves after care because it's truly just a big playdate. These things are not the problem.

I think a child does suffer for being truly over-scheduled with STRUCTURED activities, so they don't have time for playing with friends(whether its running around with neighborhood kids, playdates, aftercare, at day camp, etc.). You kid doesn't have to free roam though to have unstructured play with peers. And a balance with some structured activities is ok too.

You just imposed a pretty big structure on all that unstructured play you advocate: with other kids. You had to put that qualifier in every chance you got.

Parents who think there is something wrong with a child playing by herself or with siblings are another source of childhood anxiety. Like they can never live up to your expectations of being a social butterfly unless they are always at work socializing. Are you also the kind of parent who also engineers your children's friendships behind the scenes, making sure they only play with the "right" kids? Never being allowed to make friends without parental approval is not good for a child's mental health either.

Parents who overemphasize socializing are not better than parents who overemphasize an instument or sport.

Actually, I think down time and time spent alone are very important too. But did you read the interview? The particular issue being discussed is that kids need time with other kids so they can navigate social situations, deal with "minor bullying" (his words), solve a problem as a group, etc. My point was kind of don't let perfect be the enemy of the good...yes, free roaming the neighborhood with other kids provides a great setting to develop those skills, but so, actually, do play dates, after care, and even certain summer camps.

Also, I'm at a total loss as to what from post gave you the impression that I'm a social engineering parent. Was it just the mere mention of "playdate"? I schedule playdates for my DD with the kids SHE asks me to. Jeez.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with this - but I think the problem is both overbearing parents AND parents constantly turning to screen time

Parents are turning to screen time because it’s impossible to do the adult life stuff and be your kids playmate. But you can’t just send them out, even though that’s what’s best for them.

It’s all interrelated

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As though aftercare isn't a Lord of the Flies free for all...

Yeah, I'm trying to understand why folks think aftercare or summer day camp is part of this particular problem. Both after care and traditional day camps (not talking about academic or specialty camps) are A LOT of unstructured play and a lot of it is outside and active. At my DD's camp last year she had a big free swim every afternoon (no different than going to the pool with friends) and overall I'd say a good 60% of the day was unstructured hanging out with peers -- jumping on trampolines, swinging in hammocks, making friendship bracelets and chatting, stuff like that... Certainly no screens! My kindergarten niece looooooves after care because it's truly just a big playdate. These things are not the problem.

I think a child does suffer for being truly over-scheduled with STRUCTURED activities, so they don't have time for playing with friends(whether its running around with neighborhood kids, playdates, aftercare, at day camp, etc.). You kid doesn't have to free roam though to have unstructured play with peers. And a balance with some structured activities is ok too.

You just imposed a pretty big structure on all that unstructured play you advocate: with other kids. You had to put that qualifier in every chance you got.

Parents who think there is something wrong with a child playing by herself or with siblings are another source of childhood anxiety. Like they can never live up to your expectations of being a social butterfly unless they are always at work socializing. Are you also the kind of parent who also engineers your children's friendships behind the scenes, making sure they only play with the "right" kids? Never being allowed to make friends without parental approval is not good for a child's mental health either.

Parents who overemphasize socializing are not better than parents who overemphasize an instument or sport.

Actually, I think down time and time spent alone are very important too. But did you read the interview? The particular issue being discussed is that kids need time with other kids so they can navigate social situations, deal with "minor bullying" (his words), solve a problem as a group, etc. My point was kind of don't let perfect be the enemy of the good...yes, free roaming the neighborhood with other kids provides a great setting to develop those skills, but so, actually, do play dates, after care, and even certain summer camps.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As though aftercare isn't a Lord of the Flies free for all...

Yeah, I'm trying to understand why folks think aftercare or summer day camp is part of this particular problem. Both after care and traditional day camps (not talking about academic or specialty camps) are A LOT of unstructured play and a lot of it is outside and active. At my DD's camp last year she had a big free swim every afternoon (no different than going to the pool with friends) and overall I'd say a good 60% of the day was unstructured hanging out with peers -- jumping on trampolines, swinging in hammocks, making friendship bracelets and chatting, stuff like that... Certainly no screens! My kindergarten niece looooooves after care because it's truly just a big playdate. These things are not the problem.

I think a child does suffer for being truly over-scheduled with STRUCTURED activities, so they don't have time for playing with friends(whether its running around with neighborhood kids, playdates, aftercare, at day camp, etc.). You kid doesn't have to free roam though to have unstructured play with peers. And a balance with some structured activities is ok too.

You just imposed a pretty big structure on all that unstructured play you advocate: with other kids. You had to put that qualifier in every chance you got.

Parents who think there is something wrong with a child playing by herself or with siblings are another source of childhood anxiety. Like they can never live up to your expectations of being a social butterfly unless they are always at work socializing. Are you also the kind of parent who also engineers your children's friendships behind the scenes, making sure they only play with the "right" kids? Never being allowed to make friends without parental approval is not good for a child's mental health either.

Parents who overemphasize socializing are not better than parents who overemphasize an instument or sport.

Anonymous wrote:Life sucks for people with young kids. I’ve got unlimited funds and it still is insanely hard.

We weren’t designed to raise children with zero help. I’d love it if those from the 70s would tackle gun control rather than offering dumb obvious thoughts. Then we maybe could let our kids wander outside. Parenrs don’t want your thoughts.

Get to work or shut up (actually, and).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As though aftercare isn't a Lord of the Flies free for all...

Yeah, I'm trying to understand why folks think aftercare or summer day camp is part of this particular problem. Both after care and traditional day camps (not talking about academic or specialty camps) are A LOT of unstructured play and a lot of it is outside and active. At my DD's camp last year she had a big free swim every afternoon (no different than going to the pool with friends) and overall I'd say a good 60% of the day was unstructured hanging out with peers -- jumping on trampolines, swinging in hammocks, making friendship bracelets and chatting, stuff like that... Certainly no screens! My kindergarten niece looooooves after care because it's truly just a big playdate. These things are not the problem.

I think a child does suffer for being truly over-scheduled with STRUCTURED activities, so they don't have time for playing with friends(whether its running around with neighborhood kids, playdates, aftercare, at day camp, etc.). You kid doesn't have to free roam though to have unstructured play with peers. And a balance with some structured activities is ok too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Most everyone who is replying here realizes that this would be beneficial for their child yet is coming up with excuses as to why they can't or won't do it. Kinda sad, really.

The first step to making this happen here is to drastically reduce screen time. That isn't easy but it then forces their hand. For our children, they will play some inside but there is only so much of that they will do until they go outside to play. Access to screens just short-circuits this dynamic. Also, we make regular visits to some of the bigger playground parks - there are always kids and they love these trips. Our kids are all under 12 and we've been doing this their whole lives so YMMV.

Do you work?

No

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As though aftercare isn't a Lord of the Flies free for all...

Yeah, I'm trying to understand why folks think aftercare or summer day camp is part of this particular problem. Both after care and traditional day camps (not talking about academic or specialty camps) are A LOT of unstructured play and a lot of it is outside and active. At my DD's camp last year she had a big free swim every afternoon (no different than going to the pool with friends) and overall I'd say a good 60% of the day was unstructured hanging out with peers -- jumping on trampolines, swinging in hammocks, making friendship bracelets and chatting, stuff like that... Certainly no screens! My kindergarten niece looooooves after care because it's truly just a big playdate. These things are not the problem.

I think a child does suffer for being truly over-scheduled with STRUCTURED activities, so they don't have time for playing with friends (whether its running around with neighborhood kids, playdates, aftercare, at day camp, etc.). You kid doesn't have to free roam though to have unstructured play with peers. And a balance with some structured activities is ok too.

Anonymous wrote:As though aftercare isn't a Lord of the Flies free for all...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Most everyone who is replying here realizes that this would be beneficial for their child yet is coming up with excuses as to why they can't or won't do it. Kinda sad, really.

The first step to making this happen here is to drastically reduce screen time. That isn't easy but it then forces their hand. For our children, they will play some inside but there is only so much of that they will do until they go outside to play. Access to screens just short-circuits this dynamic. Also, we make regular visits to some of the bigger playground parks - there are always kids and they love these trips. Our kids are all under 12 and we've been doing this their whole lives so YMMV.

That's not really fair, and I say that as someone who has put forth a lot of effort into restricting screens, especially for my younger kids.

Self-control is a finite resources. You can look that up in any psychological study. We have limited amounts of willpower. On a population wide scale, you just have millions and millions of people who have absolutely zero spare bandwidth.

And you can see the consequences everywhere.

Making playing outside normal again and encouraging walking to school at an earlier age would both be good places to start. And that would provide a much needed break for parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does one make sense of a world where people have to accept all ways of life. I was just watching a youtube video where a woman was saying she shouldn't be judged by society and society was actually the mean behavior if they complained about her lifestyle. She had her husband take photos for her only fans page so she can go out on dates and have sex with many people and even call him to pay for these dates, but she won't allow him to date anyone else. There is no order in the world that kids can rely on. Literally people can do anything these days. It's scary to me too.

Perfect example of a man whose mental health suffers due to a lack of freedom.

Anonymous wrote:
Most everyone who is replying here realizes that this would be beneficial for their child yet is coming up with excuses as to why they can't or won't do it. Kinda sad, really.

The first step to making this happen here is to drastically reduce screen time. That isn't easy but it then forces their hand. For our children, they will play some inside but there is only so much of that they will do until they go outside to play. Access to screens just short-circuits this dynamic. Also, we make regular visits to some of the bigger playground parks - there are always kids and they love these trips. Our kids are all under 12 and we've been doing this their whole lives so YMMV.

Anonymous wrote:So this is just his guess? It’s not very coherent. School has a lot of free play basically unsupervised time built into it, especially aftercare and before care. Basically the same as his ‘grandparent’ suggestion. Also There are lots of kids in Asia and in other parts of the world who have lots of chores or academic duties and who aren’t depressed. I hated free play as a kid. Some kids find their meaning in work/chores/helping the family. This guy is not very convincing and the interview is a word salad. ‘Go outside you will be happier!’ Sometimes that’s true, sometimes not.