Anonymous wrote:Get their kids crappy gifts too, then maybe next year the madness will stop.

Or have your kids make wish lists and send them to the SILs. My 12 year old started making Google slides complete with pictures and links for the items on her wish list at Xmas last year.

This is what I did. My ils loved to create drama and gifts were their number one way of punishing people. We all had similar salaries but the ils would give me and the other sil stuff they found in their house, or one year I got a notepad from a financial advisor they used. They expected expensive gifts from dh and I and I was expected to be the one to shop for the gifts. We tried politely talking around the issue. We really wanted to stop exchanging gifts with them and we finally did. We first went through the step of giving them similar gifts that they gave us. Omg, the hurt, the tears.

I firmly believe that if gifts cause any consternation at all, stop exchanging. Anyone who complains about a gift I give never gets another one from me. I grew up with people who had such double standards - a cousin who complained in front of a group of people that I didnt spend thousands on her wedding gift when she spent $50 on mine. I have no tolerance for this bs.

No no no. Once there's cash involved, it's not possible to exchange cash for gifts, or cash for cash.

Your husband needs to tell them you will not continue with the gift exchange because the kids are growing and don't appreciate the gifts as much as they used to.

I think it’s the adults. I can’t imagine high school or college age cousins caring about this. Have your kids make a wish list and send it to their aunts, uncles and cousins directly. Stay out of it. It feels rude but it can possibly end this.

Use this https://mywishlist.online/ and then open up iMessage accounts and have them text “I started my Christmas list early, if you need ideas for the gift exchange! Aunt Betty, Uncle Bo and cousin Jill, please send me your wish lists!”