Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op I think you could do this. Try to secure a flex independent professional job first.
That way you have a little something coming in.
This is another possibility: always have 2 of these going at once (20h for one, 20h for the other, more or less) Could do 30+10, or some variation. So you can rely on hopefully one to stick even if the other dissipates. If one does dissipate, you pick up another small flex job.
Whatever industry and work you are in, start there.
If you get one going, retire. Then pick up another.
I’m a Sahm returning, and I have 2 things like this going. Flexible quantity of hours, so I put in what I can fit in, what I feel like earning. About 20-30 hours I am doing right now in one job. The other is my own freelance so I have complete control of hours. Would like to shift more into that, drop off fewer hours in the other and keep the other thing going a little bit.
Umm, while I appreciate your unbridled optimism what are you basing this on? The only concrete facts Op had shared is that she is 35, burnt out from her job and has a husband with no near term retirement plans.
Anonymous wrote:Retiring young is a great concept but it is impossible to project out COL 40-50 years. Let’s say you retire at 45 based on well thought out assumptions and then you hit 60 and your assumptions were wrong. There is no way for you to catch up.
Anonymous wrote:[youtube]Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am 50 and have 2 million in 401k, 200k Roth and 300k in non-retirement accounts.
DH is 58 and has similar assets, so about 5m total. Paid off home.
250k in 529 for 2 kids 14 and 19.
No family money and no pension.
I am thinking of quiting every day while DH wants to wait till younger DS graduate HS.
We have similar stats but we are a bit younger and our kids are a lot younger. (Had them late in life.) DH is fed, will have a pension, and wants to retire as soon as he is eligible in a couple of years. I am the main breadwinner and want to wait until the youngest graduates high school. My two reasons are: (1) being risk averse and (2) I want to instill good work ethic in my children and have them see us as being productive members of the society.
Not personal since so many people parrot this sentiment, but… what an absolutely asinine take this is. Really.
The first and most obvious logical error is assuming that any job done for pay is automatically good/productive/contributing to society. I whole heartedly reject that premise. Half of jobs are totally useless at best (meaning if those jobs disappeared tomorrow it wouldn’t natter to anyone but the former workers missing their paychecks!). A good chunk of jobs (even well paying ones) are by nature or in practice actively DETRIMENTAL to society. There are not a huge number of jobs that I think one should reasonably be PROUD of continuing to work in despite no longer needing the money.
I think it’s good to model for kids that loved ones come first, which includes their wants and needs, and if society wants to judge someone for retiring early and trying to enjoy their life, they can kick rocks.

Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We are early 40's and have $3M in assets, not counting our paid off home and fully funded 529s. We spend way less per month than current income. I keep trying to get spouse to majorly downshift his stressful job but he keeps insisting he is "overqualified" and he won't be able to get hired somewhere at a lower level. I wish he would try. I was a SAHM and now work part-time for peanuts. We live a simple but comfortable life plus my spouse is also going to get a multimillion dollar inheritance. He knows and agrees with all of this academically but can't bring himself to improve his situation.
I feel the same way as your husband. Not only am I “overqualified” for a lower level job, but younger folks may be better at it by now than I am. And all positions that actually leverage my experience and seniority are stressful.
+1 This is a common situation. There's often not an easy way to "downshift."
Another vote here. My DH wanted to downshift and actually tried when his tech company sold. They only wanted him for C-suite. A friend told him the younger guys don't want to have you report to them because of your status. Plus, frankly, it looks weird. So he is back in a C-suite position. We are just shy of 10m in assets, but he has zero interest in hanging out and playing golf or whatever. I likes to be connected to people who are making things happen. So his mentality is to not slow down.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am 50 and have 2 million in 401k, 200k Roth and 300k in non-retirement accounts.
DH is 58 and has similar assets, so about 5m total. Paid off home.
250k in 529 for 2 kids 14 and 19.
No family money and no pension.
I am thinking of quiting every day while DH wants to wait till younger DS graduate HS.
We have similar stats but we are a bit younger and our kids are a lot younger. (Had them late in life.) DH is fed, will have a pension, and wants to retire as soon as he is eligible in a couple of years. I am the main breadwinner and want to wait until the youngest graduates high school. My two reasons are: (1) being risk averse and (2) I want to instill good work ethic in my children and have them see us as being productive members of the society.
Anonymous wrote:I think it is fine to take a break and change careers. I don’t think it is fine to just stop working and rely on your spouse while you fart about.
Anonymous wrote:I quit a high paying job several months ago, in mid-40s, and DH keeps telling everyone that I retired. I so much don’t want to work ever again, as there are so many fun activities that are free. For example, free live fitness classes on Zoom, free movies at the community center, free movies and events at the embassies, and free walks and bike rides with family and friends. I take some free history classes and also Spanish classes (not free but very affordable). Our mortgage is paid off. We have 2 kids that are already adults and quite independent financially.
Anonymous wrote:OP, the key for most FIRE folks is to live in a LCOL area. So, if you have $1-$1.5 million, own your $300k home in a LCOL area, and like to camp or visit grandma for your vacations, this can work.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:One spouse retiring early has caused resentment in our marriage. We regret it. YMMV.
Is the retired spouse much older? Have a particularly stressful job? Make most of the nest egg? If so, the resentment may be unwarranted.
If said “retired” spouse is 35 years old like op I’d think the resentment is warranted, regardless of whether they are older than their partner/in a stressful job.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:One spouse retiring early has caused resentment in our marriage. We regret it. YMMV.
Is the retired spouse much older? Have a particularly stressful job? Make most of the nest egg? If so, the resentment may be unwarranted.