Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 05:46     Subject: Re:Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OK i'm crashing your thread- sorry. I just find your tone really self-satisfied and know-it-all.
I know kids last year who crashed and burned with your "mellow out" strategy. NOt all family can afford to be "chill." Not all kids have their act together by senior year. Some kids have ADHD or learning differences and need support through the process. This process can be overwhelming for neurotypical kids as well. The applications are complex and it's the first time kids have done this. I am not advocating a hostile takeover of the process but being a helpful sounding board is reasonable. Also it's the biggest investment I'll make as an adult so, yeah, if looking over an essay for typo's helps my kid get merit aid- I'm down for that.


I agree.

OP’s first post is tone deaf.









You’ve got to be kidding. Someone does something differently than you and it’s “tone deaf”? C’mon. Find another thread.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 05:25     Subject: Re:Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:None of my kids school even notify until almost April- minus the two EA.


Yeah. What schools are these kids applying to? Every regular decision is 1/2-1/5 deadline with notification early April of the 8 schools my kid is applying to. EA notification is February for 2; December for another- for the other 3.


My child is trying to get her EA apps in by Nov 1 so she can get earlier answers. She also has some rolling schools on her list.

Actually, getting a yes or no academically from some places will save us audition trips for performing arts programs/scholarships.

Don’t worry - she isn’t competing with your snowflake.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 05:19     Subject: Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:I welcome anyone who has let their kids fill out their own applications, have NOT hired a counsellor or coach, and are letting this be their kids journey, not theirs.

Please come on in and share your stories!

Here’s mine - DD refused to let us look at her essays and supplementals - not even just to proofread. Wasn’t about to fight with her on that. She’s got a good head on her shoulders and I’m sure she will end up exactly where she belongs!


I have a child kind of like that too…will not let us see the essays…wants to “sink or swim” on their own. Part of me is impressed by the confidence and self motivation…part of me is frustrated as heck because I would like to at least proofread them.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 05:16     Subject: Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Kid asked me to proof common app for typos and was happy to discuss process along the way (we visited schools together so he seemed interested in my take). This all felt pretty normal to me and sort of representative of our relationship - we are pretty close and for us would have felt weird to not discuss or refuse support on what ended up being a move to a different state (but I know every relationship is different).

College process worked out and is loving his choice!


I have a child like that too…will not let us see the essays…wants to “sink or swim” on their own. Part of me is impressed by the confidence and self motivation…part of me is frustrated as heck because I want to be more involved.


Oops! I accidentally responded to the wrong quote. Disregard.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 05:14     Subject: Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:Kid asked me to proof common app for typos and was happy to discuss process along the way (we visited schools together so he seemed interested in my take). This all felt pretty normal to me and sort of representative of our relationship - we are pretty close and for us would have felt weird to not discuss or refuse support on what ended up being a move to a different state (but I know every relationship is different).

College process worked out and is loving his choice!


I have a child like that too…will not let us see the essays…wants to “sink or swim” on their own. Part of me is impressed by the confidence and self motivation…part of me is frustrated as heck because I want to be more involved.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 00:21     Subject: Re:Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:None of my kids school even notify until almost April- minus the two EA.


Yeah. What schools are these kids applying to? Every regular decision is 1/2-1/5 deadline with notification early April of the 8 schools my kid is applying to. EA notification is February for 2; December for another- for the other 3.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 22:53     Subject: Re:Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:OK i'm crashing your thread- sorry. I just find your tone really self-satisfied and know-it-all.
I know kids last year who crashed and burned with your "mellow out" strategy. NOt all family can afford to be "chill." Not all kids have their act together by senior year. Some kids have ADHD or learning differences and need support through the process. This process can be overwhelming for neurotypical kids as well. The applications are complex and it's the first time kids have done this. I am not advocating a hostile takeover of the process but being a helpful sounding board is reasonable. Also it's the biggest investment I'll make as an adult so, yeah, if looking over an essay for typo's helps my kid get merit aid- I'm down for that.


I agree.

OP’s first post is tone deaf.







Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 22:49     Subject: Chill applications thread

I wish I could say I was the chill parent. I am totally opposite. But had it all been left to my child, she wouldn’t even be bothering with any of it right now. She has yelled at me for being too involved, but then she loves the opportunities for visits and what not at the schools that I researched for her. We have done 3 visits over the past 3 weeks and she enjoyed every one. She may be annoyed sometimes, but the nudges I have given her have helped her a lot (yes, hon-you should do the avid program, yes, you absolutely should go to the national conference your academy teacher is inviting you to…)

I’m trying not to bother her at this stage-I know a couple teachers have helped her with essays and she had requested recs a while ago. I will probably just check in this coming weekend to make sure November 1 is happening.

After this, we just have to try to get auditions scheduled for performing arts programs/scholarships.

Again, wish I could be chill-hoping the second one is easier!
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 22:47     Subject: Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD decided to apply to only target or safety schools. She picked 7 she feels good attending - any of them - and submitted already.

I proofread her essay and a couple supplementals. That’s it.

I felt she had a logical and responsible way of handling a process that can be absolutely stressful.

Fingers crossed for good results. With 7 reasonable schools, I’m confident something will work out.


She should shoot for the stars for at least one. All targets and safeties sounds like afraid of rejection. Best advice I ever got (And it has paid off): you don't get what you don't ask for.


My kids could no apply to reaches because we needed merit money.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 22:43     Subject: Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I totally believe some kids don’t want their parents involved with their apps, but agree the smugness is over the top. This is a weird humble brag thread.


Do t like it? Move on.

QUIT RUINING THE CHILL


You hardly seem chill with the all caps.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 21:26     Subject: Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:I totally believe some kids don’t want their parents involved with their apps, but agree the smugness is over the top. This is a weird humble brag thread.


Do t like it? Move on.

QUIT RUINING THE CHILL
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 21:16     Subject: Chill applications thread

I totally believe some kids don’t want their parents involved with their apps, but agree the smugness is over the top. This is a weird humble brag thread.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 21:10     Subject: Re:Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:


You, the teacher, knows who is stressing out and who isn't, in the privacy of their own home? If you're so immature that you don't understand that anxiety is not necessary visible to you, the teacher, then I doubt you have enough understanding of human nature to BE a teacher.

School selectivity doesn't matter, since students are at different levels and someone's safety can be someone else's reach. 99% of families find college admissions stressful, regardless of where their kids apply.

Seriously. What abysmal stupidity.


You are welcome to deny my reality all you want. I actually have a college-bound senior who isn’t stressing. I also help ALL my students with their essays, so college comes up frequently. It comes up in parent conferences. This is my reality, and it is reality for many other families.

For some reason this threatens you, and I’m not sure why. This threatens you so much that you have to fight back with multiple personal attacks. I’m not sure I understand why you need everybody to feel the pressure you do.

I hope you survive the college process. It seems to be taking a lot out of you.

PP You say you are a teacher at a competitive school. Are you a parent to ALL the 17-year-olds in your school applying to college? As has been mentioned, and I assume you know, there is a vast difference between what you see at school and what goes on at home. Many kids and parents are stressed about money, selectivity and fit. This does not mean they are doing something wrong.

I do find the OP very smug and the premise of the thread "Let's all the cool chill parents with self-sufficient kids come hang out on this thread and congratulate ourselves" to be gross.

So yes I'm coming to your high five party to say I think being totally uninvolved is irresponsible, or perhaps only possible if you have unlimited money and privilege.


And again, this thread isn’t for you. There’s prob a separate thread for RESPONSIBLE parents.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 21:09     Subject: Re:Chill applications thread

None of my kids school even notify until almost April- minus the two EA.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 21:00     Subject: Re:Chill applications thread

Mine mostly did with some nagging because I wanted them done early. He submitted them in early October and heard from all of them by Christmas. He got into 8/10 of them and then got into the other two during RD in March/April. 3.1 GPA, no test scores, one EC plus summer jobs. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be but he didn't apply anywhere where he didn't think he would get in. We needed a lot of $$$ so I didn't want him to waste his 10 applications on any long shots. He's a happy freshman in college now.