Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be a big boy and ask your wife if she’s having an affair.

+1

nope. you would never give this advice to a woman asking the same question about her DH. you always say "listen to your gut/instincts".

And the advice is typically (almost universally), gather evidence, track whereabouts, phone and text records, emails, be a digital sleuth, etc. and once you have all of this evidence, then you confront.

Anonymous wrote:What are the most obvious signs--out late with single friends, stepping away to take calls at night, more girls trips, talking about how much fun the single life is?

It seems like women are much better than men at covering their tracks. So curious what you look for.

OP, I hate to give you this tip, because it will be mis-used by all the cheating women out there to cover their vile deeds (women cheat more often than me). But,

Buy some Check Mate infidelity test kits in person, for cash (so wife doesn’t catch you). Use the test kits on her dirty panties after she has been on a “business trip” or out late. The kit will reveal traces of her lovers semen in her panties.

When you first catch her, play nice. But immediately lawyer-up. Do exactly what your lawyer tells you to do. Quietly move all money to new accounts only you control. Document everything she does. Record as much as you can, and save it.

Anonymous wrote:Either doesn't initiate or initiates sex more often

New moves in the bedroom

My friend discovered his ex was cheating on him after she constantly put him off and would not have sex with him for eight months.

EIGHT MONTHS!

She finally confessed after he confronted late one night when she was, yet again, “working late.”

He is happily remarried.

Anonymous wrote:Are women better at hiding their tracks or is it that men are less suspicious and/or in denial?

Men don’t want to know, so they delude themselves. If they knew then they’d have to take action. Painful and expensive!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she suddenly starting fights with you to make you the bad guy? If so, she's looking for a way to justify an affair and/or push you to be the bad guy.

In addition to the new clothes, diet, working out, going out more clues.

I want to point out (if nobody has already) that these are also signs that men are having an affair.

With women I would add that if she had been trying to work on the marriage—asking to go to therapy, asking for more time, asking for more help, whatever—and then she stops, that in addition to the above is a really bad sign.

Also the same with men, believe it or not. If one person just can’t have their needs met, they often get desperate and do something dumb.

Maybe but it’s a different kind of asking, like they stop initiating and getting pouty when their wife declines sex. It’s not particularly common for men to “work on the marriage.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she suddenly starting fights with you to make you the bad guy? If so, she's looking for a way to justify an affair and/or push you to be the bad guy.

In addition to the new clothes, diet, working out, going out more clues.

I want to point out (if nobody has already) that these are also signs that men are having an affair.

With women I would add that if she had been trying to work on the marriage—asking to go to therapy, asking for more time, asking for more help, whatever—and then she stops, that in addition to the above is a really bad sign.

Also the same with men, believe it or not. If one person just can’t have their needs met, they often get desperate and do something dumb.

Anonymous wrote:Is she suddenly starting fights with you to make you the bad guy? If so, she's looking for a way to justify an affair and/or push you to be the bad guy.

In addition to the new clothes, diet, working out, going out more clues.

I want to point out (if nobody has already) that these are also signs that men are having an affair.

With women I would add that if she had been trying to work on the marriage—asking to go to therapy, asking for more time, asking for more help, whatever—and then she stops, that in addition to the above is a really bad sign.

Anonymous wrote:I almost always bring my phone into the bathroom, mainly because I'm addicted to the input to my brain. And I turn my phone over when at home because my phone is always trying to get my attention with various alerts. I had no idea this is suspicious behavior.

Context is everything. Those things in conjunction with other new behaviors could be a clue. That’s all.

I almost always bring my phone into the bathroom, mainly because I'm addicted to the input to my brain. And I turn my phone over when at home because my phone is always trying to get my attention with various alerts. I had no idea this is suspicious behavior.

What about going down to the basement to make phone calls late at night?

When you goes on a "business" trip and takes her cuter/sexy underwear that you don't see at home

Constant texting. Has a new GF she never mentioned before she is suddenly spending all kinds of time with, at the gym, running, etc.

Secretive
Holds phone in hands
Always coming up with new dances
Tries different vegetables
Says neighbors are a mistake
Starts making more ice
Has strong opinion on a movie
Interested in fire
Seeks relief
Has no reasons for anything
Carries a mirror
Stacks coins

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Starts working out more, buying new clothes generally putting more effort into her appearance (maybe a new haircut, wears perfume more, new underwear)

Showers shortly after getting home

Is more defensive or short with you over really mundane things

Hiding or guarding her phone

Lol - I’ve had a couple cycles of gaining a little weight and then I go nuts working out to get it off, which inevitably leads to weight loss, more confidence, new clothes, dressing up bc I know I look good again etc. and then I want to have more sex w DH bc I feel better about myself. I’ve never had, nor ever considered, an affair.

OP asked for possible signs. These are possible signs. No one is suggesting that if you buy new clothes you're boinking someone else. It's simply a list of things that you can look for if you're suspecting and take the totality of incidents and changes to look at the issue objectively. Honestly - this is your contribution? Read the room.

I read the room. The “possible signs” you nut jobs are posting are literally part of healthy everyday relationships.

staying late at the office
dinners & drinks with her boss
random stains on her blouses