Anonymous
10/16/2023 22:19
Subject: Anecdotal or is the AP always less attractive than the spouse?
It's a DCUM myth that's often stated by the wives here but I can tell you from experience, it's far from true most of the time. But if it is, what difference does it make. You're only talking about her looks?
Anonymous
10/16/2023 17:34
Subject: Anecdotal or is the AP always less attractive than the spouse?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Know the score. For a successful man…
Affair down if you just want nsa or a ons.
Affair up if you are seriously auditioning for a second wife.
Totally agree with this.
It’s what I‘ve seen. Standards are much lower when men who are just looking for sex with a person they don’t bring out in public. No plans to have an actual relationship or Amy future with.
Anonymous
10/16/2023 16:58
Subject: Anecdotal or is the AP always less attractive than the spouse?
Anonymous wrote:Know the score. For a successful man…
Affair down if you just want nsa or a ons.
Affair up if you are seriously auditioning for a second wife.
Totally agree with this.
Anonymous
10/16/2023 16:54
Subject: Anecdotal or is the AP always less attractive than the spouse?
Anonymous wrote:Yes, the actual time I saw this, handsome husband showered average neighbor woman with attention. She had average looking husband, she probably had never received attention from such a handsome man before, she was a sitting duck. His DW was very attractive and successful, he seemed to need an ego boost
So ... for the woman in the above situation her AP was much more handsome than her husband.
So in addition to being anecdotal, these anecdotes even anecdotally proving anything.
Anonymous
10/16/2023 16:32
Subject: Anecdotal or is the AP always less attractive than the spouse?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Men affair down. The "lesser" women throw themselves at him in a way that makes him feel validated, desired, powerful, etc. They are eager to please him whether that's doing anything in bed or letting him call the boundaries and run the show. Also, in general, people who get involved with a married person likely have some sort of issue whether that's mental health, self worth, insecure, anxious attachment, previous abuse.
This is quite a cope. Men often cheat with married professional/status peers. Takes two to tango dear. It really comes down to opportunity and orbit.
It’s this.
Sure, there are trends and stories tnst can be weaved after and by others.
But it all comes down to chance and opportunity. I thought I would never cheat. But I met someone who literally knocked me over with attraction and chemistry.
It never progressed physically but it happened so quickly and I’m not sad that it did because it opened my eyes to some uncomfortable truths about my marriage and the level of dysfunction there.
I’m split now and have had some emotional affairs with married men who are just sad and want attention. As do I, but without the strings.
Marriage is primarily an economic unit, not an emotional one. I think it’s time we stop blaming normal people for not making it work.
Lol troll! Troll trying to make people mad. No way this is true
Anonymous
10/16/2023 16:27
Subject: Re:Anecdotal or is the AP always less attractive than the spouse?
^ sounds like a YOU issue with the number of different EAs you have had with married men. Christ.
Anonymous
10/16/2023 16:02
Subject: Anecdotal or is the AP always less attractive than the spouse?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Men affair down. The "lesser" women throw themselves at him in a way that makes him feel validated, desired, powerful, etc. They are eager to please him whether that's doing anything in bed or letting him call the boundaries and run the show. Also, in general, people who get involved with a married person likely have some sort of issue whether that's mental health, self worth, insecure, anxious attachment, previous abuse.
This is quite a cope. Men often cheat with married professional/status peers. Takes two to tango dear. It really comes down to opportunity and orbit.
It’s this.
Sure, there are trends and stories tnst can be weaved after and by others.
But it all comes down to chance and opportunity. I thought I would never cheat. But I met someone who literally knocked me over with attraction and chemistry.
It never progressed physically but it happened so quickly and I’m not sad that it did because it opened my eyes to some uncomfortable truths about my marriage and the level of dysfunction there.
I’m split now and have had some emotional affairs with married men who are just sad and want attention. As do I, but without the strings.
Marriage is primarily an economic unit, not an emotional one. I think it’s time we stop blaming normal people for not making it work.
Anonymous
10/16/2023 15:55
Subject: Anecdotal or is the AP always less attractive than the spouse?
Know the score. For a successful man…
Affair down if you just want nsa or a ons.
Affair up if you are seriously auditioning for a second wife.
Affair down if you just want nsa or a ons.
Affair up if you are seriously auditioning for a second wife.
Anonymous
10/16/2023 15:54
Subject: Anecdotal or is the AP always less attractive than the spouse?
Anonymous wrote:Yes, the actual time I saw this, handsome husband showered average neighbor woman with attention. She had average looking husband, she probably had never received attention from such a handsome man before, she was a sitting duck. His DW was very attractive and successful, he seemed to need an ego boost
Yes I have seen almost this exact situation play out
Anonymous
10/16/2023 15:49
Subject: Anecdotal or is the AP always less attractive than the spouse?
Anonymous wrote:Yes, the actual time I saw this, handsome husband showered average neighbor woman with attention. She had average looking husband, she probably had never received attention from such a handsome man before, she was a sitting duck. His DW was very attractive and successful, he seemed to need an ego boost
Sounds about right. The girls that never got the good-looking high school quarterback Homecoming king to even notice her back then get a chance to bone him in middle age. It’s easy to punch above their weight when he’s only looking for an easy screw on the side.
Anonymous
10/16/2023 15:22
Subject: Anecdotal or is the AP always less attractive than the spouse?
Yes, the actual time I saw this, handsome husband showered average neighbor woman with attention. She had average looking husband, she probably had never received attention from such a handsome man before, she was a sitting duck. His DW was very attractive and successful, he seemed to need an ego boost
Anonymous
10/16/2023 15:17
Subject: Anecdotal or is the AP always less attractive than the spouse?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Men affair down. The "lesser" women throw themselves at him in a way that makes him feel validated, desired, powerful, etc. They are eager to please him whether that's doing anything in bed or letting him call the boundaries and run the show. Also, in general, people who get involved with a married person likely have some sort of issue whether that's mental health, self worth, insecure, anxious attachment, previous abuse.
This is quite a cope. Men often cheat with married professional/status peers. Takes two to tango dear. It really comes down to opportunity and orbit.
How AP sees herself: “I have a lot going on. I’m his equal”
Anonymous
10/16/2023 13:43
Subject: Anecdotal or is the AP always less attractive than the spouse?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Men affair down. The "lesser" women throw themselves at him in a way that makes him feel validated, desired, powerful, etc. They are eager to please him whether that's doing anything in bed or letting him call the boundaries and run the show. Also, in general, people who get involved with a married person likely have some sort of issue whether that's mental health, self worth, insecure, anxious attachment, previous abuse.
This was 100% true in my case.
+1 same
Anonymous
10/16/2023 13:43
Subject: Anecdotal or is the AP always less attractive than the spouse?
Anonymous wrote:Men affair down. The "lesser" women throw themselves at him in a way that makes him feel validated, desired, powerful, etc. They are eager to please him whether that's doing anything in bed or letting him call the boundaries and run the show. Also, in general, people who get involved with a married person likely have some sort of issue whether that's mental health, self worth, insecure, anxious attachment, previous abuse.
This is quite a cope. Men often cheat with married professional/status peers. Takes two to tango dear. It really comes down to opportunity and orbit.
Anonymous
10/16/2023 13:31
Subject: Re:Anecdotal or is the AP always less attractive than the spouse?
If a spouse isn’t getting any sex at home any port in the storm will do.