Anonymous wrote:Just wondering why the question, OP and I’m also wondering why only women are answering.

OP. I ask because I’ve gained weight, hair is drying out, skin wrinkling. The fight is getting harder so just wondering when I should accept myself or do I fight.

Women gain weight faster than men in General. Hormones.

Anonymous wrote:High school.

This is a bit young by American society standards. You need to get up and dust yourself off.

High school.

Just wondering why the question, OP and I’m also wondering why only women are answering.

Anonymous wrote:Society is responsible for this. We don't encourage older women to have nice clothes (wasteful) and you get this "mutton dressed as lamb" thing if you keep your figure. You're also not included in functions.

You seem not to understand what "dressed" means.

Anonymous wrote:Society is responsible for this. We don't encourage older women to have nice clothes (wasteful) and you get this "mutton dressed as lamb" thing if you keep your figure. You're also not included in functions.

If you watch old movies from the Golden Age, the nightclubs and country club scenes always show all ages out there dressed up etc. Today it's more of a segregation.

I went for an ultrasound and got a comment from a lady in the waiting room about me getting dressed up for a medical appointment! Just wearing a fitted shirt and skirt looks dressed up. It's so unusual that I had a psych meds checkup and the report stated that I was "nicely dressed."

We live in a society with people who gallavant around town in sweats, leggings and pjs. Wearing clothing with buttons, zippers or clasps seems "dressed up". It's so dumb.

Society is responsible for this. We don't encourage older women to have nice clothes (wasteful) and you get this "mutton dressed as lamb" thing if you keep your figure. You're also not included in functions.

If you watch old movies from the Golden Age, the nightclubs and country club scenes always show all ages out there dressed up etc. Today it's more of a segregation.

I went for an ultrasound and got a comment from a lady in the waiting room about me getting dressed up for a medical appointment! Just wearing a fitted shirt and skirt looks dressed up. It's so unusual that I had a psych meds checkup and the report stated that I was "nicely dressed."

Anonymous wrote:I care about what I eat and how well I can move.

I don't care about how I look.

Have I let myself go?

Yes

Mid 40s.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think I was letting myself go, so much as letting myself down.

I like this distinction! When people talk about "letting yourself go," I think of it as a good thing: Stop living up to other people's standards, let loose, have fun. Although I suppose I'm taking a lesson from someone who put a lot of work into her hair, which I don't want to do. I'd love to be able to tap dance, though!

I guess I've sort of let myself go over the past few years. I was still a babe in my early forties, then Covid and depression and boredom and maybe some perimenopause came, and four years later, I feel so ugly and clunky and blah. I used to dress really well but now I work from home and have a dog, so I'm in leggings all the time. I don't do anything with my hair anymore. I rarely wear makeup. Haven't worn any kind of accessory or jewelry in years. I walk all the time but I stopped weight training so I'm not as toned. There hasn't been dramatic weight gain or greying or wrinkling, but I just feel...ugly. And tired. And old.

For some reason, this morning I did my hair, put on a little makeup and wore something nice. And I looked good! I noticed some people checking me out, which I haven't noticed in years. I realized that I really haven't changed that much. It's just that I'm past the age where I can just throw my hair in a bun, put on some moisturizer and a pair of jeans and a tee shirt and look great. I'm a grown woman now and I need to take a little more time and care. And I haven't been doing that. So I'm going to try to make more of an effort more often because I ended up having a more energetic, productive day than I've had in years. I don't think I was letting myself go, so much as letting myself down. I hadn't really gone anywhere at all.

Oh, and having a young 20-something PT is great! She is the one who said “you have permission to take care of yourself, to get your hair done, to not wear baggy clothes. You have a nice shape under there!” I needed that push. The pain of this injury, emotional pain from my marriage, and constantly having to put out fires with my mother/sister just has me so depressed. Lifting now.

Anonymous wrote:I am 62 and am on ozempic to lose weight (I weigh less now than I have for at least 25 years). That's mostly for health reasons, but partly for vanity reasons. I highlight my hair, but have very little gray to cover. I get BBL treatments to even out skin tone. Other than that nothing - no botox or fillers, no surgery, etc.

I watched the Golden Bachelor last week and I thought the women who had clearly done too much were much less attractive than those who looked their age. Or maybe the ones who looked their age just had better procedures.

I got 1/2 way through he first episode and nearly puked

Anonymous wrote:It is one thing to accept wrinkles and grey hair. It is quite another to stop exercising, eat junk food, and become a couch potato.

Sometimes it just happens. I racked out my S.I. Joint over the summer, and moving was PAINFUL. Slowly healing but cannot do what I used to. I am religious about the PT and hope that I don’t need surgery as it still hurts to go up stairs, etc, and walking feels a little awkward. Sacrioliitis I think is what it’s’ called?

Anonymous wrote:Ok. That was terrible way to phrase it…but when did you accept the weight gain, gray hairs, wrinkles and stopped the daily fight with age? At what age did you say, I cant fight anymore. Or are you still fighting it til the end…via surgery, supplements ect.

It’s funny you asked this as I am newly 62 and it wasn’t deliberate. Weight is ok, but I tend to wear baggy clothes because I think I’m bigger than I actually am. A lot of it is depression over being forced to be the only adult regarding my parents and my siblings, but that seems to be resolving as I am flat out refusing to be in the dynamic. Today, after probably 8 months (!) I finally got my hair cut and colored and I feel so much better. I have a friend I adore who would alway say “Let’s meet for coffee and I want to see lip color on you when you get there”. I always did so and it did make a difference in my psyche. I put on makeup every day, but I forget to refresh little things. And my husband is all about him now and that doesn’t make it any easier. When my little dog passes (he’s old now but so sweet), I plan to be gone from this house at least 6 months/year