Anonymous wrote:Yes. I look at my 40 year old dc and yearn til it hurts. He will always be MY baby. His wife will never replace me.

I was reading along mostly agreeing and sometimes not.

Then this one.

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH...................................

Absolutely not. I cannot wait for the next stage.

Anonymous wrote:I am not coping well with the passage of time (quite a significant issue overall) and specifically as it pertains to my kids getting older. They are 7 and 10 and whenever the iPhone reminds me of them being younger (constantly) I just feel like I painfully miss them as babies. Anyone else? Urgh.

You will be happier if you just enjoy whatever stage you are in now. Looking back only makes you miss the present. Hard but doable

Yes and no? My oldest is on the autism spectrum and he was HARD. And it was hard for him too. Getting older and more able to express himself has been a blessing. So in a way, I love watching him grow up because every day he's doing things I wasn't sure he'd be able to do.

My youngest, OTOH, is such a butthole and I miss him being a squishy little nugget! Life was better before he knew about Minecraft.

I miss the baby cheeks and the simplicity of that phase. Sometimes I look at their baby pictures and videos and my heart hurts.

But I also love the current phase, where they're in elementary and learning. They're reading books about insects and whales and regaling us with trivia all day long. They've become such good travelers and I'm excited to plan new adventures and sharing our hobbies with them.

I miss some aspects of my kids when they were younger, absolutely. They're 12, 10, and 7 now. That said, those times were rough in many ways they aren't know and so I try to remember that, too. Ultimately, I'm glad they're growing up healthy and happy (knock wood). There's a grief there, for sure, but it's infinitely better than the alternative.

I miss the ease of having a baby / toddler, but my 13-yr-old is an awesome kid that is fun to hang with. But squishy baby snuggles and all that pure joy? Being able to cure any problem with a hug and kiss? Yeah, I do miss that!

Yes I do but I remind myself I’m blessed - we want our kids to be healthy and grow.

OP - Yes, I miss them as babies, I miss them as toddlers, I miss them as preschoolers and I miss them as gap toothed early elementary schoolers. I’ve only got tweens and teens. I love them dearly and enjoy them as they are but miss those younger years.

Today the youngest was excited to get out the Halloween stuff and decorate. I cherished the excitement more than in past years as I know soon it will wane. They used to all get so excited for holidays, but now the older ones are pretty meh on most things.

Responding to OP- I just had a sick toddler and a stomach bug elementary school kid and the day/night is not over. So answer is no, I don’t. I can’t wait for adult children that I can actually talk to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I look at my 40 year old dc and yearn til it hurts. He will always be MY baby. His wife will never replace me.

WTF. His wife isn’t his MOM. But she IS the most important female in his life, or should be.

DP but I think about this with my son a lot, it makes it extra hard. I want him to get married and love his wife more than me, that's natural and healthy. It just makes it all that harder knowing he'll never love me as much as he does right now. At least with my daughters I know it will always kind of be the same dynamic.

Son til wife. Daughters for LIFE!

Well if you believe that sad cliche then you’ll probably help create that dynamic in your life.

I have an absolutely terrible relationship with my mom. My husband has a wonderful one with his, even after we married (and I’m close to her, too.) It is what you make of it.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I look at my 40 year old dc and yearn til it hurts. He will always be MY baby. His wife will never replace me.

This isn’t healthy for you. It’s natural and good that his wife becomes his primary focus. I recommend you talk to someone to help you move forward with your life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I look at my 40 year old dc and yearn til it hurts. He will always be MY baby. His wife will never replace me.

WTF. His wife isn’t his MOM. But she IS the most important female in his life, or should be.

Most important until divorce. 🤣
No one replaces mom! They always come back home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I look at my 40 year old dc and yearn til it hurts. He will always be MY baby. His wife will never replace me.

WTF. His wife isn’t his MOM. But she IS the most important female in his life, or should be.

DP but I think about this with my son a lot, it makes it extra hard. I want him to get married and love his wife more than me, that's natural and healthy. It just makes it all that harder knowing he'll never love me as much as he does right now. At least with my daughters I know it will always kind of be the same dynamic.

This seems weird to say (or think). Oedipal.

Mom-child relationship should be a totally separate thing from spouse-spouse relationship.

you’re saying even if your daughters marry, you will still be the most important person in their life? What if they marry a woman?

Do you have a son?

NP. I have a son and I think it's a little Oedipal. I do see the phenomenon where men don't have as strong of a relationship with their parents after they get married, but that's often just because they dump the responsibility of the social calendar onto their wives, who are obviously going to favor spending time with their own families. It's not because of some inherent decrease in love as boys age. And moms do sometimes seem to have this really weird thing about loving their sons *extra*. Like "I love all my kids equally, but there is just something different about my boys." Cringe.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I look at my 40 year old dc and yearn til it hurts. He will always be MY baby. His wife will never replace me.

WTF. His wife isn’t his MOM. But she IS the most important female in his life, or should be.

DP but I think about this with my son a lot, it makes it extra hard. I want him to get married and love his wife more than me, that's natural and healthy. It just makes it all that harder knowing he'll never love me as much as he does right now. At least with my daughters I know it will always kind of be the same dynamic.

This seems weird to say (or think). Oedipal.

Mom-child relationship should be a totally separate thing from spouse-spouse relationship.

you’re saying even if your daughters marry, you will still be the most important person in their life? What if they marry a woman?

Do you have a son?