Anonymous
09/16/2023 22:14
Subject: Re:It's hard for me that my son doesn't want to spend time with me
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Okay, there’s grumpy and then there’s just outright rude and disrespectful. Those responses are unacceptable. He doesn’t have to sit and hang out with. But he damn well better be respectful.
There needs to be a Come-to-Jesus family meeting. Everything he holds dear, meaning his phone, money, access to friends, will quickly disappear if he ever responds like that.
Have some self-respect.
This is the dumbest possible response, guaranteed to generate maximum resentment and resistance from him.
But you have no response. You’re just here to criticize others and their proposed answers. Either you think it’s perfectly fine for any kid to talk to his parent like that or you have zero ideas in your head. Either way, stop taking up space here.
Anyone here who is prescribing ideas without knowing the kid and his mom is exactly as stupid as “take away his phone money and friends” PP and is wasting space in this thread.
OP did not even ask for ideas about what to do. Everyone is just jumping in with the tween thread equivalent of “divorce him!” that is invariably the advice in Relationships.
Anonymous
09/16/2023 21:44
Subject: It's hard for me that my son doesn't want to spend time with me
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The problem is, the time to teach your son to speak respectfully to you is not at age 17, it was at age 2, with constant reinforcement thereafter. Basically it’s too late once they hit their late ‘tweens or early teens.
I am not OP but have a similar son. I did not raise him this way. He was always respectful until the last year or so. It is extremely painful. I wish all the precious posters would stop blaming the OP. I have raised two boys similarly and only one is like this.
I have finally had enough and will no longer help him. He doesn’t realize I am his biggest fan, but I will no longer be a doormat.
I am sorry to you and op. With kids including twins, I know how every one is ultimately an individual, no matter how much you do or didn't do.
Anonymous
09/16/2023 20:54
Subject: It's hard for me that my son doesn't want to spend time with me
Anonymous wrote:OP didn't anticipate the uniformly negative response to the parenting issue, and won't be back.
You sound like a bully. Get help please.
Anonymous
09/16/2023 20:48
Subject: It's hard for me that my son doesn't want to spend time with me
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My brother was like this. He left for college on the west coast and never came back. Ever.
That's terrible. Your poor parents.
Not really. He had his reasons.
Anonymous
09/16/2023 20:39
Subject: It's hard for me that my son doesn't want to spend time with me
Anonymous wrote:The problem is, the time to teach your son to speak respectfully to you is not at age 17, it was at age 2, with constant reinforcement thereafter. Basically it’s too late once they hit their late ‘tweens or early teens.
I am not OP but have a similar son. I did not raise him this way. He was always respectful until the last year or so. It is extremely painful. I wish all the precious posters would stop blaming the OP. I have raised two boys similarly and only one is like this.
I have finally had enough and will no longer help him. He doesn’t realize I am his biggest fan, but I will no longer be a doormat.
Anonymous
09/16/2023 20:20
Subject: It's hard for me that my son doesn't want to spend time with me
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My brother was like this. He left for college on the west coast and never came back. Ever.
That's terrible. Your poor parents.
np But maybe not if he is as big a jerk as op's son.
Anonymous
09/16/2023 19:38
Subject: It's hard for me that my son doesn't want to spend time with me
OP didn't anticipate the uniformly negative response to the parenting issue, and won't be back.
Anonymous
09/16/2023 19:37
Subject: Re:It's hard for me that my son doesn't want to spend time with me
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Okay, there’s grumpy and then there’s just outright rude and disrespectful. Those responses are unacceptable. He doesn’t have to sit and hang out with. But he damn well better be respectful.
There needs to be a Come-to-Jesus family meeting. Everything he holds dear, meaning his phone, money, access to friends, will quickly disappear if he ever responds like that.
Have some self-respect.
This is the dumbest possible response, guaranteed to generate maximum resentment and resistance from him.
But you have no response. You’re just here to criticize others and their proposed answers. Either you think it’s perfectly fine for any kid to talk to his parent like that or you have zero ideas in your head. Either way, stop taking up space here.
+1. Beat it.
Anonymous
09/16/2023 18:27
Subject: It's hard for me that my son doesn't want to spend time with me
The problem is, the time to teach your son to speak respectfully to you is not at age 17, it was at age 2, with constant reinforcement thereafter. Basically it’s too late once they hit their late ‘tweens or early teens.
Anonymous
09/16/2023 18:22
Subject: Re:It's hard for me that my son doesn't want to spend time with me
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Okay, there’s grumpy and then there’s just outright rude and disrespectful. Those responses are unacceptable. He doesn’t have to sit and hang out with. But he damn well better be respectful.
There needs to be a Come-to-Jesus family meeting. Everything he holds dear, meaning his phone, money, access to friends, will quickly disappear if he ever responds like that.
Have some self-respect.
This is the dumbest possible response, guaranteed to generate maximum resentment and resistance from him.
But you have no response. You’re just here to criticize others and their proposed answers. Either you think it’s perfectly fine for any kid to talk to his parent like that or you have zero ideas in your head. Either way, stop taking up space here.
Anonymous
09/16/2023 18:01
Subject: It's hard for me that my son doesn't want to spend time with me
Anonymous wrote:My brother was like this. He left for college on the west coast and never came back. Ever.
That's terrible. Your poor parents.
Anonymous
09/16/2023 18:00
Subject: Re:It's hard for me that my son doesn't want to spend time with me
Anonymous wrote:Okay, there’s grumpy and then there’s just outright rude and disrespectful. Those responses are unacceptable. He doesn’t have to sit and hang out with. But he damn well better be respectful.
There needs to be a Come-to-Jesus family meeting. Everything he holds dear, meaning his phone, money, access to friends, will quickly disappear if he ever responds like that.
Have some self-respect.
This is the dumbest possible response, guaranteed to generate maximum resentment and resistance from him.
Anonymous
09/16/2023 16:54
Subject: It's hard for me that my son doesn't want to spend time with me
My brother was like this. He left for college on the west coast and never came back. Ever.
Anonymous
09/16/2023 16:44
Subject: It's hard for me that my son doesn't want to spend time with me
I recently saw a reel on Instagram where a young man said he had this type of reaction to his Mom. One day she went out and got into a car accident after he had just dissed her. She died and he was of course devastated. He was begging young people not to treat their parents like this.
Anonymous
09/16/2023 15:41
Subject: It's hard for me that my son doesn't want to spend time with me
Anonymous wrote:My take is that you sound clingy and smothering. He sounds like a teen with a normal, healthy weekend social life. You should be glad he is going out. Yes, he was rude, but if you are overly clingy, he may be reacting that way to get you to back off.
Yes, "how are you doing" is overly clingy.
I bet you're super nice to your wife.