Anonymous
09/12/2023 00:31
Subject: Nanny’s car is falling apart
Buy, and give her, with no strings attached, whatever kind of car you can afford that is an improvement. Consult with her about desirable models.
Do not charge her insurance, offset her wages, keep the car in your name, or any of that crazy ish.
It is a safety issue and a lovely bonus. The end.
Do not charge her insurance, offset her wages, keep the car in your name, or any of that crazy ish.
It is a safety issue and a lovely bonus. The end.
Anonymous
09/11/2023 18:15
Subject: Nanny’s car is falling apart
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You cannot force her to go into debt and buy a new car! You are ridiculous. If you don't like her car then you BUY a car for her to use. Your entitlement is beyond comprehension.
Your reading comprehension needs some work. I said I didn’t want to tell her to buy a new car, so I’m looking for another solution.
Not to defend first PP but you did say "1. Tell her to buy a new car."
If you buy a used car, who pays the insurance? Under her name or your name. I assume title will be under your name. That may get conflicted.
What if have HER lease a car and you make the payment as long as she is employed by you?
I didn’t take #1 as OP seriously considering this option. I think she was just walking through various scenarios and explaining what she does not want to do.
Anonymous
09/11/2023 18:11
Subject: Nanny’s car is falling apart
why does she even need to drive your kids? Lots of nannies do not drive kids anywhere, so their car is no concern to their employer
Anonymous
09/11/2023 14:47
Subject: Nanny’s car is falling apart
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What kind of shape is your car in? I would probably get myself a new car and have her drive your existing car, when she is working.
I’ve thought about this, but we have an SUV and she’s told me that in her previous jobs, she hasn’t wanted to drive an SUV because she’s not used to it (her car is a sedan).
Hmmmm. I guess this depends where you live, but I don't generally drive an SUV and still prefer it with my kids (I commute from Alexandria to DC in my sedan and DH drives our third-row SUV all the time, but I take it on sports runs and weekends). Assuming it is not some behemoth of a car, I would be concerned that someone who couldn't navigate with an SUV wasn't a great driver overall, if they were driving my kids.
Disagree. I'm a great driver, but unused to SUVs. Do you really want me to become accustomed to driving one while your children are in the backseat?
I went from sedan to SUV. Got used to it and still no accidents. It's a small SUV though.
Anonymous
09/11/2023 14:29
Subject: Nanny’s car is falling apart
In this situation we bought a third car for her to use when she got to work (used Subaru outback). We wanted to control what the kids ride in. We do not let her drive it full time as we only want liability for things that happen when she's on the clock
Anonymous
09/11/2023 14:24
Subject: Nanny’s car is falling apart
If you wanted to do #4, you would need to have a frank discussion with her about the gap between what she can afford & available cars.
If you do 2 or 3, you could title it to yourself but let her drive it full time as a perk of employment.
If you do 2 or 3, you could title it to yourself but let her drive it full time as a perk of employment.
Anonymous
09/11/2023 13:56
Subject: Nanny’s car is falling apart
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You cannot force her to go into debt and buy a new car! You are ridiculous. If you don't like her car then you BUY a car for her to use. Your entitlement is beyond comprehension.
Your reading comprehension needs some work. I said I didn’t want to tell her to buy a new car, so I’m looking for another solution.
Not to defend first PP but you did say "1. Tell her to buy a new car."
If you buy a used car, who pays the insurance? Under her name or your name. I assume title will be under your name. That may get conflicted.
What if have HER lease a car and you make the payment as long as she is employed by you?
Hard no. OP will fire her and then she will be stuck with an expensive payment? Not reasonable.
But really, what would have happened if the kids had been with her during the key issue? They’d get an Uber. Not a big deal.
The appropriate response is to do nothing. It doesn’t appear the car is unsafe.
OP said the AC is malfunctioning. The car is having problems starting. How is this not unsafe especially when you have young children in the car?
No AC is uncomfortable but not unsafe. I say this as someone whose vehicle has not had working AC all summer.
It isn’t having problems starting, there was one problem and she got it fixed. That isn’t “falling apart.” But I probably have a lot more practical experience with old vehicles than you, because I’m a “poor.”
I have only ever had used cars (and some pretty old ones, at that), but once a car starts having issues like not starting in totally normal weather and AC not fully functioning, it’s my experience that it’s time to move on. Can you eke out a couple more years with a car like that? Usually yes. Do I want my kids to be driven around in a car like that if I had a choice? No.
Anonymous
09/11/2023 13:49
Subject: Nanny’s car is falling apart
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You cannot force her to go into debt and buy a new car! You are ridiculous. If you don't like her car then you BUY a car for her to use. Your entitlement is beyond comprehension.
Your reading comprehension needs some work. I said I didn’t want to tell her to buy a new car, so I’m looking for another solution.
Not to defend first PP but you did say "1. Tell her to buy a new car."
If you buy a used car, who pays the insurance? Under her name or your name. I assume title will be under your name. That may get conflicted.
What if have HER lease a car and you make the payment as long as she is employed by you?
Hard no. OP will fire her and then she will be stuck with an expensive payment? Not reasonable.
But really, what would have happened if the kids had been with her during the key issue? They’d get an Uber. Not a big deal.
The appropriate response is to do nothing. It doesn’t appear the car is unsafe.
OP said the AC is malfunctioning. The car is having problems starting. How is this not unsafe especially when you have young children in the car?
No AC is uncomfortable but not unsafe. I say this as someone whose vehicle has not had working AC all summer.
It isn’t having problems starting, there was one problem and she got it fixed. That isn’t “falling apart.” But I probably have a lot more practical experience with old vehicles than you, because I’m a “poor.”
Anonymous
09/11/2023 13:43
Subject: Nanny’s car is falling apart
We bought a used mini van for the nanny to use
Anonymous
09/11/2023 13:38
Subject: Re:Nanny’s car is falling apart
So sorry you and she are going through this: this economy is so weird and unforgiving--we all received stimulus money and/or more access to money due to not going into office (no driving or public transport) or not paying childcare, and the class of professional workers that your nanny falls into began to receive higher salaries--but in the end, all we are left with is high prices for everything (including cars, 5 years or so ago, she could have just brough a cheap used car).
My statement isn't intended to be partisan by the way, especially given the indirect ways many us us were able to save money that was then pumped into the economy (the transport/childcare example).
My statement isn't intended to be partisan by the way, especially given the indirect ways many us us were able to save money that was then pumped into the economy (the transport/childcare example).
Anonymous
09/11/2023 13:22
Subject: Nanny’s car is falling apart
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We really like our nanny overall. We have two kids, ages 3 and 1. She drives the kids in her own car and we reimburse her for mileage and wear-and-tear. She told us that she prefers to drive her own car and has always done this with her nanny families, even when they have a nicer car available for her to drive. We do have a car but we need it to commute.
Twice in the past 6 months, she’s had issues with her car and we’ve had to call her an Uber to get her home. The first time, she couldn’t get it to start. She ended up having to take it to the shop to get it repaired, but she was vague about what the issue was. The second time, she couldn’t get her key to work, so she couldn’t even get the door open. I’m guessing that there was an issue with the battery in her key, and for some reason we couldn’t get the physical key to work either. She had an extra set of keys at home and has been using those. The AC in her car also doesn’t work when it’s super hot, which is concerning to me.
She has admitted to us that she probably needs a new car, but she’s also said that cars are so expensive right now that she wants to wait. At this point, we’re not comfortable with her continuing to drive our kids in this car. What if the key hadn’t worked while she was out and about with them, and they were stranded there?
We’re trying to come up with a way to resolve this issue. Our contract says that she will drive her own car, but we didn’t think to put anything in it about maintaining the car to a certain standard. Here are the options as far as I can tell:
1. Tell her to buy a new car. I don’t think this is the route I want to go because I don’t think she can afford it and I don’t want to be a mean employer.
2. Lease a car for her to use. This would be annoyingly expensive but doable for us.
3. Buy a used car for her to use while she’s driving our kids around. Again, annoyingly expensive but probably doable.
4. Give her a one-time bonus and tell her the intent is for her to put it toward buying a new car. I don’t know if this would be appropriate or how much we would even give her.
What would you do?
OP, BTDT here. Never give a nanny (or anyone) a new/nice condition car, and expect it to stay in new/nice condition, ever. The new car idea should be off the table, completely. Of the options, buying her a used car, to be used for work only, is the best idea. BUT not sure how you ensure it is not used/abused outside of work, or how she would be expected to get home? Buy what works for your family, and nanny gets no say in what you buy. ie: if you want/need the minivan, so be it.
To add, the title and insurance must be in your name, but you may wish to consider deducting something for nanny's portion of insurance coverage payments. You should add her to your insurance, and ask your insurance company what the price differential is for that.
Agree with other PP that you might start looking for a new nanny and stipulate that the new nanny must have and supply reliable transportation.
No way should a nanny agree to that.
No, but she might forego part of her usual raise, if she is inconveniencing the parents.
Well a raise is at the employer's discretion, unless there is something specifically written into the contract. So sure, OP could just not give her an annual raise. Who knows how the nanny will react to that? Probably it would depend on how happy the nanny is in the job, otherwise. Is OP paying a competitive rate? OP has seemed pretty snarky in a lot of her responses here, which leads me to believe she might not be the easiest boss to work for. No annual raise might be what pushes the nanny to just quit and find another job.
Anonymous
09/11/2023 13:20
Subject: Nanny’s car is falling apart
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You cannot force her to go into debt and buy a new car! You are ridiculous. If you don't like her car then you BUY a car for her to use. Your entitlement is beyond comprehension.
Your reading comprehension needs some work. I said I didn’t want to tell her to buy a new car, so I’m looking for another solution.
Not to defend first PP but you did say "1. Tell her to buy a new car."
If you buy a used car, who pays the insurance? Under her name or your name. I assume title will be under your name. That may get conflicted.
What if have HER lease a car and you make the payment as long as she is employed by you?
Hard no. OP will fire her and then she will be stuck with an expensive payment? Not reasonable.
But really, what would have happened if the kids had been with her during the key issue? They’d get an Uber. Not a big deal.
The appropriate response is to do nothing. It doesn’t appear the car is unsafe.
She would have gotten an Uber that had 2 car seats?
If you weren’t Ok with that as a one time thing she could wait for you to pick them up with your car. It’s not a big deal.
These are such minor car problems…most people with older vehicles occasionally need them repaired. That doesn’t mean they are unsafe. It’s a minor inconvenience.
My point was more that I don’t know if it’s even possible to get an Uber with two car seats.
The day that this happened, it was over 100 degrees outside. I had our car for a client meeting about an hour outside of DC.
But if her car was right there, wouldn't she have had YOUR car seats with her? She could have just installed them in an Uber?
Because the whole point was that she couldn’t get her car open. The key fob wasn’t working and for some reason, the physical key wasn’t working either.
Anonymous
09/11/2023 13:16
Subject: Nanny’s car is falling apart
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We really like our nanny overall. We have two kids, ages 3 and 1. She drives the kids in her own car and we reimburse her for mileage and wear-and-tear. She told us that she prefers to drive her own car and has always done this with her nanny families, even when they have a nicer car available for her to drive. We do have a car but we need it to commute.
Twice in the past 6 months, she’s had issues with her car and we’ve had to call her an Uber to get her home. The first time, she couldn’t get it to start. She ended up having to take it to the shop to get it repaired, but she was vague about what the issue was. The second time, she couldn’t get her key to work, so she couldn’t even get the door open. I’m guessing that there was an issue with the battery in her key, and for some reason we couldn’t get the physical key to work either. She had an extra set of keys at home and has been using those. The AC in her car also doesn’t work when it’s super hot, which is concerning to me.
She has admitted to us that she probably needs a new car, but she’s also said that cars are so expensive right now that she wants to wait. At this point, we’re not comfortable with her continuing to drive our kids in this car. What if the key hadn’t worked while she was out and about with them, and they were stranded there?
We’re trying to come up with a way to resolve this issue. Our contract says that she will drive her own car, but we didn’t think to put anything in it about maintaining the car to a certain standard. Here are the options as far as I can tell:
1. Tell her to buy a new car. I don’t think this is the route I want to go because I don’t think she can afford it and I don’t want to be a mean employer.
2. Lease a car for her to use. This would be annoyingly expensive but doable for us.
3. Buy a used car for her to use while she’s driving our kids around. Again, annoyingly expensive but probably doable.
4. Give her a one-time bonus and tell her the intent is for her to put it toward buying a new car. I don’t know if this would be appropriate or how much we would even give her.
What would you do?
OP, BTDT here. Never give a nanny (or anyone) a new/nice condition car, and expect it to stay in new/nice condition, ever. The new car idea should be off the table, completely. Of the options, buying her a used car, to be used for work only, is the best idea. BUT not sure how you ensure it is not used/abused outside of work, or how she would be expected to get home? Buy what works for your family, and nanny gets no say in what you buy. ie: if you want/need the minivan, so be it.
To add, the title and insurance must be in your name, but you may wish to consider deducting something for nanny's portion of insurance coverage payments. You should add her to your insurance, and ask your insurance company what the price differential is for that.
Agree with other PP that you might start looking for a new nanny and stipulate that the new nanny must have and supply reliable transportation.
No way should a nanny agree to that.
No, but she might forego part of her usual raise, if she is inconveniencing the parents.
Anonymous
09/11/2023 13:15
Subject: Nanny’s car is falling apart
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We really like our nanny overall. We have two kids, ages 3 and 1. She drives the kids in her own car and we reimburse her for mileage and wear-and-tear. She told us that she prefers to drive her own car and has always done this with her nanny families, even when they have a nicer car available for her to drive. We do have a car but we need it to commute.
Twice in the past 6 months, she’s had issues with her car and we’ve had to call her an Uber to get her home. The first time, she couldn’t get it to start. She ended up having to take it to the shop to get it repaired, but she was vague about what the issue was. The second time, she couldn’t get her key to work, so she couldn’t even get the door open. I’m guessing that there was an issue with the battery in her key, and for some reason we couldn’t get the physical key to work either. She had an extra set of keys at home and has been using those. The AC in her car also doesn’t work when it’s super hot, which is concerning to me.
She has admitted to us that she probably needs a new car, but she’s also said that cars are so expensive right now that she wants to wait. At this point, we’re not comfortable with her continuing to drive our kids in this car. What if the key hadn’t worked while she was out and about with them, and they were stranded there?
We’re trying to come up with a way to resolve this issue. Our contract says that she will drive her own car, but we didn’t think to put anything in it about maintaining the car to a certain standard. Here are the options as far as I can tell:
1. Tell her to buy a new car. I don’t think this is the route I want to go because I don’t think she can afford it and I don’t want to be a mean employer.
2. Lease a car for her to use. This would be annoyingly expensive but doable for us.
3. Buy a used car for her to use while she’s driving our kids around. Again, annoyingly expensive but probably doable.
4. Give her a one-time bonus and tell her the intent is for her to put it toward buying a new car. I don’t know if this would be appropriate or how much we would even give her.
What would you do?
OP, BTDT here. Never give a nanny (or anyone) a new/nice condition car, and expect it to stay in new/nice condition, ever. The new car idea should be off the table, completely. Of the options, buying her a used car, to be used for work only, is the best idea. BUT not sure how you ensure it is not used/abused outside of work, or how she would be expected to get home? Buy what works for your family, and nanny gets no say in what you buy. ie: if you want/need the minivan, so be it.
To add, the title and insurance must be in your name, but you may wish to consider deducting something for nanny's portion of insurance coverage payments. You should add her to your insurance, and ask your insurance company what the price differential is for that.
Agree with other PP that you might start looking for a new nanny and stipulate that the new nanny must have and supply reliable transportation.
No way should a nanny agree to that.
Anonymous
09/11/2023 13:14
Subject: Nanny’s car is falling apart
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You cannot force her to go into debt and buy a new car! You are ridiculous. If you don't like her car then you BUY a car for her to use. Your entitlement is beyond comprehension.
Your reading comprehension needs some work. I said I didn’t want to tell her to buy a new car, so I’m looking for another solution.
Not to defend first PP but you did say "1. Tell her to buy a new car."
If you buy a used car, who pays the insurance? Under her name or your name. I assume title will be under your name. That may get conflicted.
What if have HER lease a car and you make the payment as long as she is employed by you?
Hard no. OP will fire her and then she will be stuck with an expensive payment? Not reasonable.
But really, what would have happened if the kids had been with her during the key issue? They’d get an Uber. Not a big deal.
The appropriate response is to do nothing. It doesn’t appear the car is unsafe.
She would have gotten an Uber that had 2 car seats?
If you weren’t Ok with that as a one time thing she could wait for you to pick them up with your car. It’s not a big deal.
These are such minor car problems…most people with older vehicles occasionally need them repaired. That doesn’t mean they are unsafe. It’s a minor inconvenience.
My point was more that I don’t know if it’s even possible to get an Uber with two car seats.
The day that this happened, it was over 100 degrees outside. I had our car for a client meeting about an hour outside of DC.
But if her car was right there, wouldn't she have had YOUR car seats with her? She could have just installed them in an Uber?