Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No and I also find it frustrating. I have 4 kids who I had before my employer, the federal government, offered any paid parental leave. By the last 2 I was out of sick and annual balances so I took unpaid leave for just 8 weeks after a difficult birth because we really couldn’t afford anything more. The men who announce their 12 weeks of paid bonding time make me extremely resentful.

You are making the classic mistake of directing your anger to the wrong party. Your employer is the one who screwed you, not the men who are using a benefit that men have been denied since the beginning of time.

Maybe men have been denied parental leave since the beginning of time because they didn’t do much to become parents and aren’t physically recovering from giving birth. Bonding is a nice thing to do, I’d love to bond with my kids for the next 12 weeks but my employer shouldn’t have to pay for it and my coworkers shouldn’t have to absorb my job duties for that period. I don’t think men deserve parental leave.

You’re right about the bolded at least. That’s why decently well organized workplaces use the 3-6 months notice they have of pending parental leave to hire temps and reorganize work, and toxic workplaces try to put blame on employees for using their benefits. Guess we know which kind you have.

Anonymous wrote:Most jobs don't give paid leave, some do. Neither my husband or I got paid leave. I saved my sick and annual leave for years so I could take 12 weeks off. No vacations, no nothing for years. My husband did a combination of paid leave and leave without pay but he only could take a few days off at the new job. I don't understand how people expect paid leave.

The largest employer in the country— the federal government— gives paid leave. Many states require it. All other developed nations have it. That’s why people expect it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am newly entering back into the workforce after working for myself for 15+ years, and considering a position that allows 14 weeks fully paid time off for all new parents (bio, adopt, or foster). And I know this sounds petty, so am glad it is anonymous. But: for those past their childbearing years, for those who may choose to remain childless, or for those who already have children, is there any equivalent compensation?

You could birth, adopt, or foster a child, and then you too could get this benefit.

14 weeks of paid time off to carry a baby for nine months, birth in a country with a scarily high maternal mortality rate, and then take care of and underwrite for decades. Sounds like a great trade to me!

I worked at a place that had generous paid leave for both birth of a child and caring for an ailing family member. And people without kids STILL complained about parental leave or accommodations for parents.

When my boss's mom died, sh had taken several months off (paid) and then worked part time for another several months and then was given dispensation to work from home against department policy for another few months, all so she could handle her mom's funeral arrangements and then move her dad in with her and get his care set up. I have no problem with any of that -- of course she should get accommodations for that.

Then I had a baby a couple years later and had PPD, and when I asked if I could go part time or work from home for two months following my maternity leave, she just said "no". And I needed department sign off so I just didn't get it. It was ridiculous and I had to get HR involved because my PPD was documented and I was in therapy and medicated and my doctor had literally told me "I think you need to postpone your return to work or return in a lower capacity because I am concerned."

A lot of people just think having a baby is nothing and you should be able to work through it and return to work as if nothing happened, because they've never done it. But of course when they are going through something hard, they expect everyone to help. It's just selfishness and myopia.

Nope, just like there's no compensation for those of who paid off our student loans on time. We benefit by having junior employees that are happier and hopefully more productive than we were.

Most jobs don't give paid leave, some do. Neither my husband or I got paid leave. I saved my sick and annual leave for years so I could take 12 weeks off. No vacations, no nothing for years. My husband did a combination of paid leave and leave without pay but he only could take a few days off at the new job. I don't understand how people expect paid leave.

Anonymous wrote:I am newly entering back into the workforce after working for myself for 15+ years, and considering a position that allows 14 weeks fully paid time off for all new parents (bio, adopt, or foster). And I know this sounds petty, so am glad it is anonymous. But: for those past their childbearing years, for those who may choose to remain childless, or for those who already have children, is there any equivalent compensation?

You get to have high achieving coworkers who are attracted by good benefits. Enjoy

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No and I also find it frustrating. I have 4 kids who I had before my employer, the federal government, offered any paid parental leave. By the last 2 I was out of sick and annual balances so I took unpaid leave for just 8 weeks after a difficult birth because we really couldn’t afford anything more. The men who announce their 12 weeks of paid bonding time make me extremely resentful.

You are making the classic mistake of directing your anger to the wrong party. Your employer is the one who screwed you, not the men who are using a benefit that men have been denied since the beginning of time.

Maybe men have been denied parental leave since the beginning of time because they didn’t do much to become parents and aren’t physically recovering from giving birth. Bonding is a nice thing to do, I’d love to bond with my kids for the next 12 weeks but my employer shouldn’t have to pay for it and my coworkers shouldn’t have to absorb my job duties for that period. I don’t think men deserve parental leave.

Anonymous wrote:No and I also find it frustrating. I have 4 kids who I had before my employer, the federal government, offered any paid parental leave. By the last 2 I was out of sick and annual balances so I took unpaid leave for just 8 weeks after a difficult birth because we really couldn’t afford anything more. The men who announce their 12 weeks of paid bonding time make me extremely resentful.

You are making the classic mistake of directing your anger to the wrong party. Your employer is the one who screwed you, not the men who are using a benefit that men have been denied since the beginning of time.

Some companies are starting to offer “grandparent leave” which is paid time off to care for a new grandchild and their parents- google it!

Anonymous wrote:I am newly entering back into the workforce after working for myself for 15+ years, and considering a position that allows 14 weeks fully paid time off for all new parents (bio, adopt, or foster). And I know this sounds petty, so am glad it is anonymous. But: for those past their childbearing years, for those who may choose to remain childless, or for those who already have children, is there any equivalent compensation?

TROLL

Anonymous wrote:I find it annoying they do this. I had three kids. My wife since SAHM got zero benefits and I got zero paternity leave.

Yet at work I have to cover for every new dad and mom for weeks taking them me away from my kids for a benefit my wife and I never got.

Your wife got nothing because she put nothing in.

People who get workplace benefits get them as part of their compensation package, not just because they exist. Framing it as a freebie is ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Somehow every other industrialized country in the world provides these benefits and no one bats an eye.

Is capitalism working for us, or are we working for capitalism?

Not every one, and the ones that do generally have higher taxes, lower average GDP growth, and a lower standard of living. There is a cost to lots of additional vacation time, Americans are workers.

And a longer life expectancy.

What other industrialized country doesn’t provide leave again??

Anonymous wrote:Somehow every other industrialized country in the world provides these benefits and no one bats an eye.

Is capitalism working for us, or are we working for capitalism?

Not every one, and the ones that do generally have higher taxes, lower average GDP growth, and a lower standard of living. There is a cost to lots of additional vacation time, Americans are workers.

Anonymous wrote:I find it annoying they do this. I had three kids. My wife since SAHM got zero benefits and I got zero paternity leave.

Yet at work I have to cover for every new dad and mom for weeks taking them me away from my kids for a benefit my wife and I never got.

I'm sorry you didn't get paternity leave. That sucks. It's very recent; I'm a mom in my 30s and I didn't even get paid leave, only FMLA.

But how would your SAHM wife get benefits, exactly? Aren't you already paying her to stay home?