Anonymous
09/03/2023 20:21
Subject: Do you watch your kids children - often?
Geez-I can see why you daughter wore you out! Your proposal sounds generous.
-Mother of 4 with no extended family help
(sigh)
-Mother of 4 with no extended family help
(sigh)
Anonymous
09/03/2023 19:21
Subject: Do you watch your kids children - often?
This seems more than fair. I'm a parent of two little kids and this sounds great. We pay for regular childcare. We don't have parents nearby for regular help, but would never expect full-time care from them if they were here. Emergencies/sick kids and daycare closures would be super helpful. Weekly date night would be icing on the cake.
Anonymous
09/03/2023 16:53
Subject: Do you watch your kids children - often?
The most precious to me has been how my parents will watch my kids for 9 days once a year. It’s allowed Dh and I to be able to travel and I truly believe it’s why our marriage is so strong. It’s super easy to find day time care. Overnight care basically doesn’t exist. When we go we do hire a babysitter for 2 hours each weekend day to give my parents a break. The babysitter runs them hard outside and then they nap.
My grandparents took me on week long vacations when I was a kid.
My grandparents took me on week long vacations when I was a kid.
Anonymous
09/03/2023 16:45
Subject: Do you watch your kids children - often?
Anonymous wrote:We’re older parents, I told DD I would only watch the kids one night a week, baby/toddler at their house once a week on a Thursday night so they can have a date night and for one long weekend- so they can have a vacation as a couple plus snow days/emergency pickup care. Once the kids are older, they will have to bring them to my house on Thursdays.
I raised two girls and they wore me out. One DD is extremely mad that I won’t provide full daycare nor babysit Saturday nights. My husband and I have a big social life now that the girls are gone- should I feel bad?
What do you do in terms of babysitting?
Has your DD always been self-centered like this?
Anonymous
09/03/2023 16:43
Subject: Re:Do you watch your kids children - often?
Anonymous wrote:Once a week is great! I would also be open to eventually watching them for a weekend so your kid and their partner can go away for a weekend a couple times a year.
Expectations like full-time childcare are unfair if not the grandparents' idea. Plus there is some evidence that full-time care is associated with negative cognitive outcomes:
"The data suggest that the highest cognitive performance is demonstrated by postmenopausal women who spend 1 day/week minding grandchildren; however, minding grandchildren for 5 days or more per week predicts lower working memory performance and processing speed. These results indicate that highly frequent grandparenting predicts lower cognitive performance."
https://journals.lww.com/menopausejournal/Citation/2014/10000/Role_of_grandparenting_in_postmenopausal_women_s.7.aspx
I'm not going to buy the article, but I'm curious about effect size and confounders like age and employment status.