Anonymous wrote:Honestly i have to wonder how many grouchy mils are on here when I see so many people being harsh with op. If the in laws are at all normal, they would want to come see their new grand baby anyway, yet people are acting like they are getting a really raw deal “having” to come help (a bit) such that it’s only fair for op to put up with a stressful and unwanted extra dog in the home w her toddler and newborn.

Who are you people? Where do you come from that grandparents don’t want to come visit and help some when a new baby is born (or do so only if it’s entirely convenient to them?)

Anonymous wrote:OP here: sounds like a lot of yall have vindictive families. My ILs aren't going to cancel on us if we ask them not to bring the dog. We're giving them 6 weeks notice and they can bring her next time when our household isn't in the midst of a major change.

And yes, we have lots of other people who could come. My parents came for the birth of our first, so now we're letting ILs have a chance to be here for the birth. They want to come and keep telling us how excited they are. They didn't meet their first grandchild for 2 months because of illness, so we wanted them to have this opportunity. I definitely don't think they feel put upon for being there for family.

DH reminded me that our dog was super protective of our son when he was first born which makes me even more sure that we don't want a dog around who is known to try to provoke. Also, the dog was never explicitly invited, she just showed up one time and kept coming whenever they drive rather than fly, which up until now has always been fine.

I consider myself a dog mom, but I also know as a pet parent I need to respect other people's boundaries and never take my dog anywhere without making sure everyone is good with it.

Anonymous wrote:Wow that would cost me about $2k.

Anonymous wrote:We did this. Part of it was that ILs hate each other and triangulate through the dog, so they are both obsessed over the dog's needs as a way of relating to each other. Wasn't going to deal with that dynamic during the crucial entry period. Second, and more important, we had dogs. We needed our dogs to become acclimated to a new baby. It was just too much for them to do that with the high energy IL dog disrupting the schedule. ILs had someone watch the dog for the week. As it was, FIL spent most of the time muttering about how the dog can come next time, wouldn't have been a disruption, etc. And MIL was pretty useless with the baby. Would have been easier without them. They stuck to their schedules and didn't understand that we had to sleep when the baby slept. Bottom line: they're either there to help and understand the massive disruption a baby brings (And that is the central and only concern), or it's better if they don't come for so long. If the dog becomes a "thing," that's your answer as to whether they will be helpful.

Anonymous wrote:OP here: sounds like a lot of yall have vindictive families. My ILs aren't going to cancel on us if we ask them not to bring the dog. We're giving them 6 weeks notice and they can bring her next time when our household isn't in the midst of a major change.

And yes, we have lots of other people who could come. My parents came for the birth of our first, so now we're letting ILs have a chance to be here for the birth. They want to come and keep telling us how excited they are. They didn't meet their first grandchild for 2 months because of illness, so we wanted them to have this opportunity. I definitely don't think they feel put upon for being there for family.

DH reminded me that our dog was super protective of our son when he was first born which makes me even more sure that we don't want a dog around who is known to try to provoke. Also, the dog was never explicitly invited, she just showed up one time and kept coming whenever they drive rather than fly, which up until now has always been fine.

I consider myself a dog mom, but I also know as a pet parent I need to respect other people's boundaries and never take my dog anywhere without making sure everyone is good with it.

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Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a weird “stick it to them” thing in response to you being annoyed that their free help can benefit both parties, which actually sounds like a great thing. Hormones raging, op?

Not wanting an annoying dog around for *two weeks* right before and right after one gives birth is not unreasonable, or “sticking it” to anyone. You sound like an annoying dog owner who thinks everyone loves your dog all the time.

-Dog owner who boards my dog when needed so as not to be a total nuisance to hosts

If I was offered round the clock free help with a newborn for two weeks, I’d let them bring whatever they want.

“Help” that extends their stay significantly because it is convenient and brings an annoying dog with them can stay home. That’s not “help,” that’s a nuisance.

Then they can simply say "thanks, but no thanks." What is Plan B for going to the hospital for delivery? Who will watch the other child and dog?

OP’s family (parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins), neighbor, friend, babysitter, the list goes on and on. Do you have no one in your life to help but your ILs? Ew, what’s that like?

Ew, yourself. OP is the one having her inlaws come. Why are they the chosen ones? Where is everyone else?

Um, ask OP. But if you only have one set of ILs for help, I feel sorry for you. The fact that you don’t understand that OP likely has neighbors, friends, and her own family that can help is weird. Just because this is the plan (for now) doesn’t mean it is the only option.

I did ask OP what the plan was Then you or someone came along with your comments. Unless you're OP nobody cares about your snark.

You weren’t asking, you were being sarcastic and trying to make a point. You failed.

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Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a weird “stick it to them” thing in response to you being annoyed that their free help can benefit both parties, which actually sounds like a great thing. Hormones raging, op?

Not wanting an annoying dog around for *two weeks* right before and right after one gives birth is not unreasonable, or “sticking it” to anyone. You sound like an annoying dog owner who thinks everyone loves your dog all the time.

-Dog owner who boards my dog when needed so as not to be a total nuisance to hosts

If I was offered round the clock free help with a newborn for two weeks, I’d let them bring whatever they want.

“Help” that extends their stay significantly because it is convenient and brings an annoying dog with them can stay home. That’s not “help,” that’s a nuisance.

Then they can simply say "thanks, but no thanks." What is Plan B for going to the hospital for delivery? Who will watch the other child and dog?

OP’s family (parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins), neighbor, friend, babysitter, the list goes on and on. Do you have no one in your life to help but your ILs? Ew, what’s that like?

Ew, yourself. OP is the one having her inlaws come. Why are they the chosen ones? Where is everyone else?

Um, ask OP. But if you only have one set of ILs for help, I feel sorry for you. The fact that you don’t understand that OP likely has neighbors, friends, and her own family that can help is weird. Just because this is the plan (for now) doesn’t mean it is the only option.

I did ask OP what the plan was Then you or someone came along with your comments. Unless you're OP nobody cares about your snark.