“Men in the front. Wives in the back.”
- T. Soprano

I’m assuming OP’s husband gave her some sort of look at least. Like “well, this is awkward, but I’m taking it!” That’s not so bad.

Someone should use it, and what are the criteria for choosing which spouse?

1. Who was it offered to by the airline? Sounds like DH, presumably based on status.

2. Who is bigger and benefits more from the space? I can guess.

3. Who wants it more? Sounds silly, but isn’t. My wife is tiny, perfectly comfortable in coach, doesn’t really drink, and wouldn’t eat airline food even in Business. Meanwhile I’m a 6’ 2” 300-pound alcoholic with a bad knee who needs to be coddled at all times. Who’s getting more utility out of that sweet bastard of a seat?

Offering to switch off would have been a nice gesture and a good tactic. But sounds like OP would have accepted the offer, which I’d bet is why it wasn’t made.

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent: we had a great trip overseas and by fluke or luck, arrived at airport to notice he had been upgraded on our flight home. I was not. We asked the gate agent, who just stated it may have been a “systems issue” and that, she could put us both in coach, but couldn’t upgrade us both. DH didn’t think twice about taking the business class seat or offering it to me.

Coach was full of crying babies, loud, and far from the champagne and snacks of my DH’s experience. DH texted me a picture of a plate of cheese.

I think I’m going to let him do the vacation laundry when we get home.

Who paid for the vacation? If he paid, he should take the Business Class seat.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I've got some good news and some bad news for you. The good news is that obviously your husband is an a-hole. I cannot begin to fathom any spouse (husband or wife) taking an upgrade and leaving the other in coach, and texting you the picture is over the top. That is what you wanted to hear from DCUM and you got it. it's the truth. (I won't waste my time reading all the posts, but I would bet my last dollar that they are 99% in agreement that your husband is a low life.

But here is the more sobering news. in marriage and in life, people get what they deserve. It does not reflect well on you that the best husband your could attract was this person. you should look in the mirror and be honest about what you can do to improve yourself.

what a sad, yucky story.

What a sad, projecting post.

And what a way to turn the whole situation into OP's fault, for a choice made possibly years and years ago, of a partner who might have been very different at that time. But hey, sure, let's blame OP, but PP, be sure to blame her all the way back to her childhood! Blame he upbringing, her awfulness making her "deserving" of a thoughtless DH, her entire marriage and life, which led directly to "Seatgate" and OP's obvious responsibility for her DH's jerk behavior.

Whew! Thank you, O profound blamer-of-OP. /s

I am guessing the husband paid for the upgrade and then pretended to be surprised.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I've got some good news and some bad news for you. The good news is that obviously your husband is an a-hole. I cannot begin to fathom any spouse (husband or wife) taking an upgrade and leaving the other in coach, and texting you the picture is over the top. That is what you wanted to hear from DCUM and you got it. it's the truth. (I won't waste my time reading all the posts, but I would bet my last dollar that they are 99% in agreement that your husband is a low life.

But here is the more sobering news. in marriage and in life, people get what they deserve. It does not reflect well on you that the best husband your could attract was this person. you should look in the mirror and be honest about what you can do to improve yourself.

what a sad, yucky story.

Wtf.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent: we had a great trip overseas and by fluke or luck, arrived at airport to notice he had been upgraded on our flight home. I was not. We asked the gate agent, who just stated it may have been a “systems issue” and that, she could put us both in coach, but couldn’t upgrade us both. DH didn’t think twice about taking the business class seat or offering it to me.

Coach was full of crying babies, loud, and far from the champagne and snacks of my DH’s experience. DH texted me a picture of a plate of cheese.

I think I’m going to let him do the vacation laundry when we get home.

Did you take your husband’s name? This happened to us with BA. Ran out of room in coach bumped my husband up to business class. Did not know I was his wife.

This doesn't make sense. Weren't both your names under the same reservation?

OP, I've got some good news and some bad news for you. The good news is that obviously your husband is an a-hole. I cannot begin to fathom any spouse (husband or wife) taking an upgrade and leaving the other in coach, and texting you the picture is over the top. That is what you wanted to hear from DCUM and you got it. it's the truth. (I won't waste my time reading all the posts, but I would bet my last dollar that they are 99% in agreement that your husband is a low life.

But here is the more sobering news. in marriage and in life, people get what they deserve. It does not reflect well on you that the best husband your could attract was this person. you should look in the mirror and be honest about what you can do to improve yourself.

what a sad, yucky story.

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent: we had a great trip overseas and by fluke or luck, arrived at airport to notice he had been upgraded on our flight home. I was not. We asked the gate agent, who just stated it may have been a “systems issue” and that, she could put us both in coach, but couldn’t upgrade us both. DH didn’t think twice about taking the business class seat or offering it to me.

Coach was full of crying babies, loud, and far from the champagne and snacks of my DH’s experience. DH texted me a picture of a plate of cheese.

I think I’m going to let him do the vacation laundry when we get home.

Did you take your husband’s name? This happened to us with BA. Ran out of room in coach bumped my husband up to business class. Did not know I was his wife.

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't you use your words and ask him for the seat?

This is a stupid response. A wife shouldn’t HAVE to “use her words” in a situation like this (and vice versa). Are some of you married to severely socially incompetent children?

Whoever is the larger size or needs sleep more should get the better seat, gender shouldn't matter. If my husband has a knee injury and I don't, why wouldn't I let him take it or vice versa.

Anonymous wrote:I would be happy for my spouse that they are getting a nice seat. I am an adult and can sit in economy by myself. Assuming you went to Europe, the flights aren’t that long anyway.

the issue is not that you can't do it (duh) but that the DH didn't even discuss or offer. That was very selfish of him.

My DH is tall with long legs. I'm super petite. It would totally make sense for him to upgrade but he would've checked with me first, at least, because he's considerate of me.

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent: we had a great trip overseas and by fluke or luck, arrived at airport to notice he had been upgraded on our flight home. I was not. We asked the gate agent, who just stated it may have been a “systems issue” and that, she could put us both in coach, but couldn’t upgrade us both. DH didn’t think twice about taking the business class seat or offering it to me.

Coach was full of crying babies, loud, and far from the champagne and snacks of my DH’s experience. DH texted me a picture of a plate of cheese.

I think I’m going to let him do the vacation laundry when we get home.

Mine usually gives it to me but if we are going for his work conference and I could sleep in once there at destination and he can't then I insist on him keeping it and trying to get some shut eye. Who cares what other peoples think. Its our personal matter.

In our marriage, if we only get one upgrade offered, I get upgrades on day flights and DH gets the red-eyes. He is a mess after overnight and can’t even nap, so we are both better off if he gets sleep. The good news for me is that day flight upgrades are way more common - both because we take day flights unless absolutely unavoidable and because more people pay to upgrade on red eyes so fewer random seats left.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a husband, I would have offered the seat to my wife. But she would have said no because she’s smaller than me (and doesn’t need the extra space in first class) and doesn’t drink (and therefore can’t take advantage of the free drinks). And if I said “let’s sit in coach together,” she would have said no (and meant it) because it’s passing up a good deal and because there’s no reason for both of us to suffer.

Hi honey. Except we’ve been through this scenario many times since DH has high airline status, he does not need to even ask - we know the drill. I’m often upgraded with him. But in case not, we know to choose the most desirable coach seat for me - so that if he rushes off to business class, I’m not stuck in a middle seat in between 2 randos.

Same.

Anonymous wrote:As a husband, I would have offered the seat to my wife. But she would have said no because she’s smaller than me (and doesn’t need the extra space in first class) and doesn’t drink (and therefore can’t take advantage of the free drinks). And if I said “let’s sit in coach together,” she would have said no (and meant it) because it’s passing up a good deal and because there’s no reason for both of us to suffer.

But you get the brownie points for making all these gentlemanly offers. Apparently OP's husband is a just a greedy pig.