Anonymous
Post 08/18/2023 16:38     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think you are being too kind to yourself as you call yourself a contrarian. What you are is closed minded. It's a very negative trait. It means you won't consider any other opinion but your own. Imagine if everyone was like that. Nobody would ever grow and change and improve.

OTOH I will not wear any outfit that does not have pockets. Ever. For any occasion. As a woman. That's what works for me. I also would never consider trying to convince anyone else to do what I do as far as pockets are concerned. It does not matter.


No duh it's a very negative trait. Why do you think I want to change?


You are also rude. No duh?

If you accept that you are closed minded and it's a negative trait then you just need to find strategies to fix this in yourself. If you can't figure it out then take all this advice you've gotten and go see a therapist. I sincerely doubt DCUM will give you any valid strategies to correct this in yourself so you are wasting your time here.
Anonymous
Post 08/18/2023 16:06     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with me? I swear that during every online conversation and half the ones I have in person, I walk away thinking the exact opposite of everyone else. I've done a ton of soul-searching over this. I've tried therapy, and multiple people have told me to just embrace being different. I don't think I'm that smart. Certainly not smarter than most people online. Is this some sort of mental illness? What's wrong with me?

Examples, since I know people will ask, though it's not really about the topics themselves.

1. My neighbors kill snakes. I've tried to explain why they're useful, to deaf ears.
2. I am the only person in my professional and preferred circles to fly my preferred airline.
3. I hate pockets. Every conversation that revolves women desiring them leaves me feeling like I don't belong.
4. Politics. It doesn't matter which sides I'm talking with or listening to, I disagree.
Are you saying that you went into that convo about snakes already pro-snake, or that you had no opinion going in but came out pro-snake? And if the latter, is the problem that you think if your neighbor had been pro-snake and trying to attract them, then you would have been anti-snake?
I still don't understand the issue. Can OP answer this question?
Anonymous
Post 08/18/2023 15:59     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Let's just all agree that OP is contrarian and can't accept anything. Then OP will become agreeable and accepting
Anonymous
Post 08/18/2023 15:12     Subject: Re:I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, I cannot diagnose if you are mentally ill but you surely sound trying to be around. Do you have many friends? A life partner? Children? What do they think?

P.S. I LOVE POCKETS! ESPECIALLY IN DRESSES!


That's the absolute worst. I would never buy any dress frumpy enough to have pockets. Ugh.


Np.
Anonymous
Post 08/18/2023 15:11     Subject: Re:I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, I cannot diagnose if you are mentally ill but you surely sound trying to be around. Do you have many friends? A life partner? Children? What do they think?

P.S. I LOVE POCKETS! ESPECIALLY IN DRESSES!


I don't have friends. A spouse and children, yes.

And see? It's just hurtful that no one can see where I'm coming from. It makes me feel worthless and weird. I hate being different from everyone else.


NP. Then go see a therapist. Because something is actually wrong with you, you just seem to want to feel this way. Does it give you some kind of power or make you feel special? Because I know plenty of people who think Snake Lives Matter and who are able to see and argue both sides of any topic. I really don’t get what you don’t get about that. You haven’t said one unique thing that I don’t know plenty of other people who hold the same opinion. You seem to want to think you’re the Only Special Person to Think the Way You Do, so here: here’s a cookie.


You guys are all missing it. Did you even read the title? I don't want to be special. I want to think and believe and act like everyone else.


People are not missing it — you are! The PP suggested that you see a therapist. A therapist will help you with the bolded above. But you probably just dismissed this suggestion, being the contrarian you are.
Anonymous
Post 08/18/2023 11:38     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
I know someone like this who used to always argue the opposite of every little thing. Even the most benign of conversation topics, she’d counter with the opposite. I’ve known her for decades and I’d say she has mellowed. She does it significantly less now.

Anonymous
Post 08/18/2023 11:33     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
I'm adding that spending less time here will also be better as these forums increase anxiety which fuels depression. Look at all the unhelpful spiteful posts in this thread alone!
Anonymous
Post 08/18/2023 11:32     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
I think you are depressed, this isn't about a desire to agree. It may be a little about belonging but if you are generally more content, this meaningless stuff won't bother you.
Anonymous
Post 08/18/2023 10:53     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Honestly, get on Lexapro. You will stop caring about stupid stuff like this.
Anonymous
Post 08/18/2023 10:52     Subject: Re:I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, I cannot diagnose if you are mentally ill but you surely sound trying to be around. Do you have many friends? A life partner? Children? What do they think?

P.S. I LOVE POCKETS! ESPECIALLY IN DRESSES!


I don't have friends. A spouse and children, yes.

And see? It's just hurtful that no one can see where I'm coming from. It makes me feel worthless and weird. I hate being different from everyone else.


NP. Then go see a therapist. Because something is actually wrong with you, you just seem to want to feel this way. Does it give you some kind of power or make you feel special? Because I know plenty of people who think Snake Lives Matter and who are able to see and argue both sides of any topic. I really don’t get what you don’t get about that. You haven’t said one unique thing that I don’t know plenty of other people who hold the same opinion. You seem to want to think you’re the Only Special Person to Think the Way You Do, so here: here’s a cookie.


You guys are all missing it. Did you even read the title? I don't want to be special. I want to think and believe and act like everyone else.


Well, wish granted! Because again, you haven’t posted a single thought or opinion I haven’t heard from someone else. Just because the three people you happen to be standing with all thinks snakes = gross/get rid of them, doesn’t mean you are the Only Special Snowflake in the world who thinks that.

Post one original thought/opinion. I dare you. I guarantee we all know someone who has that same thought or holds that same opinion.


Why am I not coming across them in my life, then?


Maybe people avoid talking to you. Also, ***maybe people have opinions they don't bother sharing all the time.*** If I don't think I have anything new or fresh to add to the conversation, I don't.
Anonymous
Post 08/18/2023 10:50     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked you're married with a kid. Does your kid have friends?


Not for very long is my guess.
Anonymous
Post 08/18/2023 10:25     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Anonymous wrote:OP is such a main character. Probably just creating this whole thread so she can argue with everyone. OP, if this is really bothering you seek therapy. Nobody here is going to be able to give you useful advice.


This. Its hardly a surprise that OP has no friends. People like her are so beyond exhausting to deal with. They don't actually want to change, they just want attention.
Anonymous
Post 08/18/2023 10:22     Subject: I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
OP is such a main character. Probably just creating this whole thread so she can argue with everyone. OP, if this is really bothering you seek therapy. Nobody here is going to be able to give you useful advice.
Anonymous
Post 08/18/2023 10:17     Subject: Re:I hate being a contrarian, but I can't seem to change
Anonymous wrote:OP, I cannot diagnose if you are mentally ill but you surely sound trying to be around. Do you have many friends? A life partner? Children? What do they think?

P.S. I LOVE POCKETS! ESPECIALLY IN DRESSES!


That's the absolute worst. I would never buy any dress frumpy enough to have pockets. Ugh.