People all dcum live in fantasy world. I'm in my 50s and most of the affairs I know of were with two middle aged married losers (45+ years old). They were similar age and in long marriages. Classic middle aged dissatisfaction with themselves. Men were not looking to leave, nor looking for love. Just variety as they faced their own mortality. The women had kids getting older and wanted an exit affair.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only difference is men consider affairs a side hustle and women an exit strategy.

Yep. Pump and dump is the man AP’s strategy.

Yet this forum is full of sad stories about DHs who left for the AP. This is especially common when the DH is middle aged and the AP is younger and beautiful.

99% of those stories, the guy hasn't left. He's begging to stay.

The men begging to stay are unicorns. Look at all the posts from women begging men to go no contact to no avail. That’s the best case.

And let’s face it: When the AP is really attractive, the DH often ends up with her.

Omg. You couldn’t be more wrong. Statistics show men leave for the ow just 2% of the time. 2%. And when they do that usually ends up as divorce down the road,

No matter what anecdotal stories people post here. It’s not common.

It's mostly the poor ones who can't afford to split the 401k and sell the house. The wealthy marry the side piece, who is usually beautiful and young. It's so hilarious when they are taken by surprise. Just ask them, unexpectedly, when and how they met and watch the reactions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only difference is men consider affairs a side hustle and women an exit strategy.

Yep. Pump and dump is the man AP’s strategy.

Yet this forum is full of sad stories about DHs who left for the AP. This is especially common when the DH is middle aged and the AP is younger and beautiful.

99% of those stories, the guy hasn't left. He's begging to stay.

The men begging to stay are unicorns. Look at all the posts from women begging men to go no contact to no avail. That’s the best case.

And let’s face it: When the AP is really attractive, the DH often ends up with her.

Omg. You couldn’t be more wrong. Statistics show men leave for the ow just 2% of the time. 2%. And when they do that usually ends up as divorce down the road,

No matter what anecdotal stories people post here. It’s not common.

The Stats Crone will always appear in an infidelity thread. Always. These stats that you pull out of your asss are totally meaningless.

The betrayed wife whose husband left for the affair partner usually *believes* that her cheating husband "affaired down," but really, her opinion of herself was far too high to begin with.

Anonymous wrote:Who would want to trade down?

Men don’t assign value that way. Does she have sex with him and make him feel good about himself? That’s an upgrade to a man.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only difference is men consider affairs a side hustle and women an exit strategy.

Yep. Pump and dump is the man AP’s strategy.

Yet this forum is full of sad stories about DHs who left for the AP. This is especially common when the DH is middle aged and the AP is younger and beautiful.

99% of those stories, the guy hasn't left. He's begging to stay.

The men begging to stay are unicorns. Look at all the posts from women begging men to go no contact to no avail. That’s the best case.

And let’s face it: When the AP is really attractive, the DH often ends up with her.

Omg. You couldn’t be more wrong. Statistics show men leave for the ow just 2% of the time. 2%. And when they do that usually ends up as divorce down the road,

No matter what anecdotal stories people post here. It’s not common.

Where does that “statistic” come from?

Does it count affairs that were never discovered or acknowledged?

Most affairs are probably unacknowledged. It’s a behavior that people experience a lot of shame about and want to move past. I was reading a book by a psychologist the other day and when her parents divorced her father remarried in short order. She suspects he already had a relationship with her stepmother during the marriage but has no way to know.

Who would want to trade down?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only difference is men consider affairs a side hustle and women an exit strategy.

Yep. Pump and dump is the man AP’s strategy.

Yet this forum is full of sad stories about DHs who left for the AP. This is especially common when the DH is middle aged and the AP is younger and beautiful.

99% of those stories, the guy hasn't left. He's begging to stay.

The men begging to stay are unicorns. Look at all the posts from women begging men to go no contact to no avail. That’s the best case.

And let’s face it: When the AP is really attractive, the DH often ends up with her.

+1. Men affair up as well. Every man I know in an unhappy marriage left his wife for the AP. DCUM says this rarely happens. Not my experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only difference is men consider affairs a side hustle and women an exit strategy.

Yep. Pump and dump is the man AP’s strategy.

Yet this forum is full of sad stories about DHs who left for the AP. This is especially common when the DH is middle aged and the AP is younger and beautiful.

99% of those stories, the guy hasn't left. He's begging to stay.

The men begging to stay are unicorns. Look at all the posts from women begging men to go no contact to no avail. That’s the best case.

And let’s face it: When the AP is really attractive, the DH often ends up with her.

Omg. You couldn’t be more wrong. Statistics show men leave for the ow just 2% of the time. 2%. And when they do that usually ends up as divorce down the road,

No matter what anecdotal stories people post here. It’s not common.

Where does that “statistic” come from?

Does it count affairs that were never discovered or acknowledged?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only difference is men consider affairs a side hustle and women an exit strategy.

Yep. Pump and dump is the man AP’s strategy.

Yet this forum is full of sad stories about DHs who left for the AP. This is especially common when the DH is middle aged and the AP is younger and beautiful.

99% of those stories, the guy hasn't left. He's begging to stay.

The men begging to stay are unicorns. Look at all the posts from women begging men to go no contact to no avail. That’s the best case.

And let’s face it: When the AP is really attractive, the DH often ends up with her.

Omg. You couldn’t be more wrong. Statistics show men leave for the ow just 2% of the time. 2%. And when they do that usually ends up as divorce down the road,

No matter what anecdotal stories people post here. It’s not common.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only difference is men consider affairs a side hustle and women an exit strategy.

Yep. Pump and dump is the man AP’s strategy.

Yet this forum is full of sad stories about DHs who left for the AP. This is especially common when the DH is middle aged and the AP is younger and beautiful.

99% of those stories, the guy hasn't left. He's begging to stay.

The men begging to stay are unicorns. Look at all the posts from women begging men to go no contact to no avail. That’s the best case.

And let’s face it: When the AP is really attractive, the DH often ends up with her.

Nah, I got myself a boy toy.

^ the side sex I have seen in the older married population--the man is affairing down which is another reason he would never leave the wife.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s who I hang out with but in my real life I cannot cite a single example of a woman “trading up” after divorce or even finding a more appealing partner.

Yup. New person, same issues.

I guess it depends on what you consider trading up. I have seen women get men who were richer but not as good looking.

And I have seen men trade up unquestionably for women who are younger and also more successful than their first wife. Usually the man is a lot more successful and wealthy than he was when he married his first wife.

As others have stated and the article stresses, APs in affairs invariably never get the man. They get used and dumped and no contact when the guy gets sick of banging them or the wife finds out. They kick the can down the road by telling them 'once the kids are older' and all that kind of BS when they have zero intention of leaving their family because as the article OP links--they are very happy in their marriages unlike the women. It's just side sex.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s who I hang out with but in my real life I cannot cite a single example of a woman “trading up” after divorce or even finding a more appealing partner.

Yup. New person, same issues.

I guess it depends on what you consider trading up. I have seen women get men who were richer but not as good looking.

And I have seen men trade up unquestionably for women who are younger and also more successful than their first wife. Usually the man is a lot more successful and wealthy than he was when he married his first wife.