Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to like Ellyn Satter, but I think the idea that children sneak and overeat sugary/caloric foods if you don’t regularly serve them as part of healthy meals is BULLLLLLLLLL. BULL. SO MUCH BULL.

Picture a small hill. This is the contribution of making something “forbidden.”

Picture Mount Everest. This is the contribution of the foods being highly palatable and the body being biologically wired to want them.

As someone who struggled with binge eating and overcame it in adulthood, I can tell you you’re wrong! The reason is that things like Cheetos, cookies, etc actually dont taste that great and they don’t make you feel good, if you pay attention. So learning to tune into your body is what makes all the difference in the world.

Op I think you’re doing things right in terms of her eating but I’d be on the lookout for PCOS or high insulin. If her insulin is high, that’s what needs to be checked - not her weight - and that can be managed through meds, or more exercise, or other strategies. I still think you need to be very careful because you don’t want a kid to be obsessing about diabetes prevention either. But just food for thought that I think you have a good perspective but you still aren’t wrong that your instincts are saying something might be off here.

Binge eating is a physiological disorder. You likely would have been a binge eater regardless of what type of foods your parents had at home

this is mostly true and does not contradict anything in my post. It is more about the restriction aspect.

Parents don’t cause binge eating by telling their kid they can only have one piece piece of cake and not two or three. Or by not buying Cheetos except on road trips or whatever

Yes, that can cause binge eating.

No, that is learning to regulate sugary desserts, something no one needs any of. Eating 3 pieces of case is ENGAGING IN BINGE EATING and that is not something parents should be enabling.

Agree. I think there is a lot of good to the Satter approach but some people erroneously take away that you shouldn't limit food at all. Of course that's ridiculous. I think where this can get hung up is if a person with a tiny appetite decides that "one serving" for their child is way smaller than is realistic. Or treating children differently because of their size -- the one you aren't worried about doesn't get much attention around food but the other one gets a lot of "are you sure you need that" comments or disapproving looks when they take a cupcake at a party. Serving reasonable amount of a varied diet at regular mealtimes and including "treat" foods as dessert of snacks occasionally to ALL is healthy. Your skinny kid doesn't need to binge on cookies anymore than your chubby one does.

The most important part of the Satter approach IMO is the structure. No snacks all the dang time. My kids get a snack at 3pm and then they have to wait until dinner. Then they are reasonably hungry, will eat most of what's served without issues, are satisfied and move on with the evening.

Occasionally when I'm serving something they really love and they scarf it down fast and want more, we'll ask them to pause and finish their salad. We explain that it takes a little while for their stomach and brain to communicate so it's important to give them time to talk. They both have ADHD and have difficulty with impulse control (as can DH who has impulsive eating issues) so we're always working on that. If they are still hungry for that food after they've paused and had some salad, and we have enough, then I will let them have a small 2nd serving. I want them to be tuned into and respectful of their appetites. On the flip side, if they tell me they are not hungry and only take a couple bites of dinner I don't argue with them about that. But, again with the structure, that means they won't eat until breakfast.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. An average day would be:

Breakfast: smoothie (fruit, yogurt, milk, no added sugar), eggs, or overnight oats with peanut butter and half teaspoon of maple syrup
Lunch: whole wheat pasta with mushrooms, garlic, olive oil, and Parmesan or fish with a side of vegetables
Dinner: Tuscan bean soup with a sprinkle of Parmesan or homemade chili with guac and a sprinkle of cheddar

Snacks are almost always fruit or vegetables.

Oats, whole wheat pasta and fruit are all sugar. No matter what you call it, sugar is still sugar.

Have you at least tested her blood sugar level?

OP, I'd dial back sugar and starch (chains of sugar) - oats, pasta, beans, maple syrup. I'd emphasize proteins - eggs, chicken, meat, fish, unsweetened greek yogurt to a more limited extent. Her current diet will actually drive hunger as blood sugar goes up then dips after a smoothie, oats, pasta, beans. Vegetables have the same nutrients as fruit, I'd especially avoid tropical fruits, bananas can have up to 6 teaspoons of sugar. Protein and healthy fats like eggs, salmon, avocado, olives, are much more satiating and also are more nutrient dense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is her body size and shape drastically different from everyone in your family? Some people put on weight as adults through lifestyle factors and hormonal changes, but other people are just born into bigger bodies and will always be larger than other people.

The fact that she is also 97% for height implies she has a large frame. Even for heavier kids, isn’t the goal to keep them roughly on their growth curve? If her weight % keeps increasing relative to her height, that would seem more concerning than her height and weight increasing in the same proportion as her prior growth.

Height and weight have both moved higher than the curve recently to 98th and 99th. DH's family has weight and diabetes struggles and she basically looks like him in a wig.

I would find a new doctor. A family history of obesity & diabetes should be important to the doctor.

At the same time, I grew up with an obese sister. My brother and I ate the same things as she did and have no weight issues. My sister takes after my dad's side of the family. My dad is the only one in his family who isn't overweight or obese (probably because he's also the tallest on his side of the family at 6'4" so he carries his weight well). Everyone on my dad's side of the family, including my dad, has T2D.

You really can't fight genetics. I watched my sister and parents try for years and it caused so many issues.

If she really is eating healthy foods and staying active, I'd focus on that and also focus on learning ways to keep her confident in her body as it is since it may not change with puberty, and we all know that the tween girl years are terrible af.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is her body size and shape drastically different from everyone in your family? Some people put on weight as adults through lifestyle factors and hormonal changes, but other people are just born into bigger bodies and will always be larger than other people.

The fact that she is also 97% for height implies she has a large frame. Even for heavier kids, isn’t the goal to keep them roughly on their growth curve? If her weight % keeps increasing relative to her height, that would seem more concerning than her height and weight increasing in the same proportion as her prior growth.

Height and weight have both moved higher than the curve recently to 98th and 99th. DH's family has weight and diabetes struggles and she basically looks like him in a wig.

This is your answer. What did he look like as a kid? Does he have sisters? The question is not “how do I turn my child born into a larger than average body into an average size or slim child?” Your question to the Dr or a dietitian should be “how do I help my child grow into a healthy adult who doesn’t yo yo diet or have an eating disorder”

+1. It can be tough to accept, but there it is. I have a cousin who is very tall and heavyset, and his daughter is a very active, very good swimmer who has more of a sturdy build than an athletic build. I have another friend whose father was a linebacker—and she has always, since puberty, had the build of a linebacker. Keep up the great work with eating healthy and being active, and then make sure you are teaching her self-acceptance, body positivity, and appreciating her beauty, inside and out.

I’ve heard it said that part of the consideration when coaches and instructors take on elite female gymnasts, figure skaters and ballerinas is…what does the mom look like.

^cake

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to like Ellyn Satter, but I think the idea that children sneak and overeat sugary/caloric foods if you don’t regularly serve them as part of healthy meals is BULLLLLLLLLL. BULL. SO MUCH BULL.

Picture a small hill. This is the contribution of making something “forbidden.”

Picture Mount Everest. This is the contribution of the foods being highly palatable and the body being biologically wired to want them.

As someone who struggled with binge eating and overcame it in adulthood, I can tell you you’re wrong! The reason is that things like Cheetos, cookies, etc actually dont taste that great and they don’t make you feel good, if you pay attention. So learning to tune into your body is what makes all the difference in the world.

Op I think you’re doing things right in terms of her eating but I’d be on the lookout for PCOS or high insulin. If her insulin is high, that’s what needs to be checked - not her weight - and that can be managed through meds, or more exercise, or other strategies. I still think you need to be very careful because you don’t want a kid to be obsessing about diabetes prevention either. But just food for thought that I think you have a good perspective but you still aren’t wrong that your instincts are saying something might be off here.

Binge eating is a physiological disorder. You likely would have been a binge eater regardless of what type of foods your parents had at home

this is mostly true and does not contradict anything in my post. It is more about the restriction aspect.

Parents don’t cause binge eating by telling their kid they can only have one piece piece of cake and not two or three. Or by not buying Cheetos except on road trips or whatever

Yes, that can cause binge eating.

No, that is learning to regulate sugary desserts, something no one needs any of. Eating 3 pieces of case is ENGAGING IN BINGE EATING and that is not something parents should be enabling.

Jumping in to say i have normal weight/skinny kids and I also limit them to one piece of cake/one serving of food most of the time because... they are each one person. Like, whatever is made is divided by the number of people there. Everyone gets a reasonable/generous amount and no one is asking for seconds because they are ready to go play when they are done eating. Not giving extra meals to people is in no way as neglectful as some people are making it out to be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is her body size and shape drastically different from everyone in your family? Some people put on weight as adults through lifestyle factors and hormonal changes, but other people are just born into bigger bodies and will always be larger than other people.

The fact that she is also 97% for height implies she has a large frame. Even for heavier kids, isn’t the goal to keep them roughly on their growth curve? If her weight % keeps increasing relative to her height, that would seem more concerning than her height and weight increasing in the same proportion as her prior growth.

Height and weight have both moved higher than the curve recently to 98th and 99th. DH's family has weight and diabetes struggles and she basically looks like him in a wig.

This is your answer. What did he look like as a kid? Does he have sisters? The question is not “how do I turn my child born into a larger than average body into an average size or slim child?” Your question to the Dr or a dietitian should be “how do I help my child grow into a healthy adult who doesn’t yo yo diet or have an eating disorder”

Plus one thousand million

Ditto. I recommend reading Ellyn Satter's book "Your Child's Weight: Helping Without Harming" which directly addresses this.

Thank you. I just requested it from the library.

I think Ellyn Sattler gives out terrible advice for kids who have a tendency to gain weight in families that have obesity.

You have to restrict food if you want your child to be a normal weight and the sooner you do it the better. You can’t leave it up to your child to listen to their hunger cues because it’s messed up. Knowing both my DH and I have obesity on both sides and we both struggle with weight when our kids were little we never allowed extra servings of food. We ordered pizza but as a preschooler you just get one slice. If you are still hungry we had our kids go do something else or took them to walk the dogs.

If your child is obese eating the food you posted then it comes down to portion size. Don’t listen to Sattler, she just believes some kids are going to be fat. That kids can eat unlimited amounts of food you present to them for dinner if they are eating a balanced diet. Every year you prevent your kid from being overweight /obese is a win. I realize at least one of my kids will be overweight/obese eventually but I am trying to do all I can to prevent it.

So serve smaller portions then go do something else. Many kids aren’t even that hungry for breakfast. Start cutting back breakfast proportions. On the weekends we moved back the time we eat breakfast until 10 or 11 am so then we eat an early dinner. That means one meal less and we eat airpopped popcorn while watching a movie or go out for one scoop of ice cream at night. That is way less calories than a whole meal.

Restricting food absolutely leads to binging and ignoring hunger cues and a future of yo-yo dieting and food issues. The key thing with Satter's approach is that you decide what is served for meals and when they happen. The child chooses how much but that doesn't mean it has to be totally unlimited. It's OK that there may be limited amounts of some things, e.g. I only made x amount of macaroni and cheese or one piece of chicken per person and everyone has to share what's available. If you are still hungry there are other things on the table to eat. So if dinner is pizza, it's going to be served with salad and fruit. Still hungry after your slice, you have other things to eat. Nobody should be getting told that going around hungry should be the normal course of life.

When you are obese your hunger cues are already disordered. There is nothing wrong with feeling a little hunger. Up until the last 40 years or so unless you were ultra wealthy there wasn’t an unlimited amount of food at meals. Everyone got one serving and that was it. There wasn’t an endless supply of snacks including fresh fruit and salads. All those extra servings a child -who has a family history of obesity -eats gets their body used to eating a lot of food and then they gain weight and keep gaining weight.

OP’s kid is eating too much during meals of healthy food. That means portion sizes are too big and/or the child is eating multiple portions.

My family is unfortunately fat. My sister is a big proponent of Sattler and her kids eat huge amounts at meals. They are eating healthy things but are never told they can’t have seconds or thirds. So now they are used to eating more than they should. When I visit family members in another country I noticed there weren’t endless servings. You got one serving and that was it. Kids from that side of the family are all normal weight.

Maybe obesity is predominantly a genetic tendency—in which case your kid’s hunger signals came installed in a screwed up way, but then no amount of dietary restriction will lead to the outcome you seem to want, which is a thin child.

Or maybe obesity is the result of poor learned responses to hunger signals, in which case what you are doing is underlining that poor learned response and will have bad outcomes.

Pretty much no matter how you slice it, telling a hungry preschooler to walk a dog instead of eating is a form of child neglect. I am sorry that our culture is so whacked that you apparently feel it is both necessary and something you can get away with.

I am puzzled you think it is neglect to not give second servings to a child that has been given a complete balanced meal. So school that only give one serving of lunch are neglectful? They are supposed to serve an endless amount of food to all school children? That's how kids ate for centuries. Up until recently there hasn't been an endless supply of food served at every meal. I fundamentally disagree with Sattler about letting your kids decide how much to eat IF and only IF you have a strong family history of obesity. My family does so I realized early on I needed to limit my kids to one serving. You get used to eating a set amount. Since there is so much obesity, I have always observed how kids eat. Family members who let their toddlers eat the same size meal as an adult end up with obese elementary school kids. I realize statistically at least one if not both of my kids will become overweight or obese but I am fighting every year for that not to happen. They are 12 and 14 now and are an average weight. This is no small feat in our family. They have a much better relationship to food than I ever did. By not letting them overeat as toddlers and preschoolers their hunger cues are so much better than mine. At 7 years old OP can still control what her child eats but not for much longer. Start reducing the portions!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is her body size and shape drastically different from everyone in your family? Some people put on weight as adults through lifestyle factors and hormonal changes, but other people are just born into bigger bodies and will always be larger than other people.

The fact that she is also 97% for height implies she has a large frame. Even for heavier kids, isn’t the goal to keep them roughly on their growth curve? If her weight % keeps increasing relative to her height, that would seem more concerning than her height and weight increasing in the same proportion as her prior growth.

Height and weight have both moved higher than the curve recently to 98th and 99th. DH's family has weight and diabetes struggles and she basically looks like him in a wig.

This is your answer. What did he look like as a kid? Does he have sisters? The question is not “how do I turn my child born into a larger than average body into an average size or slim child?” Your question to the Dr or a dietitian should be “how do I help my child grow into a healthy adult who doesn’t yo yo diet or have an eating disorder”

Plus one thousand million

Ditto. I recommend reading Ellyn Satter's book "Your Child's Weight: Helping Without Harming" which directly addresses this.

Thank you. I just requested it from the library.

I think Ellyn Sattler gives out terrible advice for kids who have a tendency to gain weight in families that have obesity.

You have to restrict food if you want your child to be a normal weight and the sooner you do it the better. You can’t leave it up to your child to listen to their hunger cues because it’s messed up. Knowing both my DH and I have obesity on both sides and we both struggle with weight when our kids were little we never allowed extra servings of food. We ordered pizza but as a preschooler you just get one slice. If you are still hungry we had our kids go do something else or took them to walk the dogs.

If your child is obese eating the food you posted then it comes down to portion size. Don’t listen to Sattler, she just believes some kids are going to be fat. That kids can eat unlimited amounts of food you present to them for dinner if they are eating a balanced diet. Every year you prevent your kid from being overweight /obese is a win. I realize at least one of my kids will be overweight/obese eventually but I am trying to do all I can to prevent it.

So serve smaller portions then go do something else. Many kids aren’t even that hungry for breakfast. Start cutting back breakfast proportions. On the weekends we moved back the time we eat breakfast until 10 or 11 am so then we eat an early dinner. That means one meal less and we eat airpopped popcorn while watching a movie or go out for one scoop of ice cream at night. That is way less calories than a whole meal.

Lots of red flags in this post, and inaccuracies as well. If your kids aren’t hungry for breakfast then congrats, you have already impaired their hormones.

You are wrong, PP. You must be unfamiliar with the Dawn Effect. Breakfast being the "most important meal of the day" was a Kellog's marketing jingle.

OP, I would try to keep sweets and junk out of the house. Emphasize protein and high fiber veg, we have built in satiety signals for protein and fat and stretch receptors for fiber. We have no build in stop sign for sugar and starch. You may want to read or listen to the book "Hooked" about how processed food is engineered to be hyperpalatable and addictive. The less highly processed food in your family's diet, the better the health of ALL of you.

Can you guys walk/bike to school or grocery store or library? I’d look for ways to build exercise into her daily routine. Also Organized Sports at that age can involve a lot of sitting and waiting unfortunately, sometimes free play is much more active.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to like Ellyn Satter, but I think the idea that children sneak and overeat sugary/caloric foods if you don’t regularly serve them as part of healthy meals is BULLLLLLLLLL. BULL. SO MUCH BULL.

Picture a small hill. This is the contribution of making something “forbidden.”

Picture Mount Everest. This is the contribution of the foods being highly palatable and the body being biologically wired to want them.

As someone who struggled with binge eating and overcame it in adulthood, I can tell you you’re wrong! The reason is that things like Cheetos, cookies, etc actually dont taste that great and they don’t make you feel good, if you pay attention. So learning to tune into your body is what makes all the difference in the world.

Op I think you’re doing things right in terms of her eating but I’d be on the lookout for PCOS or high insulin. If her insulin is high, that’s what needs to be checked - not her weight - and that can be managed through meds, or more exercise, or other strategies. I still think you need to be very careful because you don’t want a kid to be obsessing about diabetes prevention either. But just food for thought that I think you have a good perspective but you still aren’t wrong that your instincts are saying something might be off here.

Binge eating is a physiological disorder. You likely would have been a binge eater regardless of what type of foods your parents had at home

this is mostly true and does not contradict anything in my post. It is more about the restriction aspect.

Parents don’t cause binge eating by telling their kid they can only have one piece piece of cake and not two or three. Or by not buying Cheetos except on road trips or whatever

Yes, that can cause binge eating.

It doesn’t. No kids are truly deprived of junk food. Between friends, relatives, birthday parties, other parties and gatherings, the numerous school celebrations and just school in general..they are all getting plenty of junk food, whether parents have it at home or not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to like Ellyn Satter, but I think the idea that children sneak and overeat sugary/caloric foods if you don’t regularly serve them as part of healthy meals is BULLLLLLLLLL. BULL. SO MUCH BULL.

Picture a small hill. This is the contribution of making something “forbidden.”

Picture Mount Everest. This is the contribution of the foods being highly palatable and the body being biologically wired to want them.

As someone who struggled with binge eating and overcame it in adulthood, I can tell you you’re wrong! The reason is that things like Cheetos, cookies, etc actually dont taste that great and they don’t make you feel good, if you pay attention. So learning to tune into your body is what makes all the difference in the world.

Op I think you’re doing things right in terms of her eating but I’d be on the lookout for PCOS or high insulin. If her insulin is high, that’s what needs to be checked - not her weight - and that can be managed through meds, or more exercise, or other strategies. I still think you need to be very careful because you don’t want a kid to be obsessing about diabetes prevention either. But just food for thought that I think you have a good perspective but you still aren’t wrong that your instincts are saying something might be off here.

Binge eating is a physiological disorder. You likely would have been a binge eater regardless of what type of foods your parents had at home

this is mostly true and does not contradict anything in my post. It is more about the restriction aspect.

Parents don’t cause binge eating by telling their kid they can only have one piece piece of cake and not two or three. Or by not buying Cheetos except on road trips or whatever

Yes, that can cause binge eating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to like Ellyn Satter, but I think the idea that children sneak and overeat sugary/caloric foods if you don’t regularly serve them as part of healthy meals is BULLLLLLLLLL. BULL. SO MUCH BULL.

Picture a small hill. This is the contribution of making something “forbidden.”

Picture Mount Everest. This is the contribution of the foods being highly palatable and the body being biologically wired to want them.

As someone who struggled with binge eating and overcame it in adulthood, I can tell you you’re wrong! The reason is that things like Cheetos, cookies, etc actually dont taste that great and they don’t make you feel good, if you pay attention. So learning to tune into your body is what makes all the difference in the world.

Op I think you’re doing things right in terms of her eating but I’d be on the lookout for PCOS or high insulin. If her insulin is high, that’s what needs to be checked - not her weight - and that can be managed through meds, or more exercise, or other strategies. I still think you need to be very careful because you don’t want a kid to be obsessing about diabetes prevention either. But just food for thought that I think you have a good perspective but you still aren’t wrong that your instincts are saying something might be off here.

Binge eating is a physiological disorder. You likely would have been a binge eater regardless of what type of foods your parents had at home

this is mostly true and does not contradict anything in my post. It is more about the restriction aspect.

Parents don’t cause binge eating by telling their kid they can only have one piece piece of cake and not two or three. Or by not buying Cheetos except on road trips or whatever

That’s fine unless you tell child A they can only have one piece of cake but child B gets as much cake as they want whenever they want. I believe it’s the part about enforcing diets and restrictions on one child but not others that PP was concerned about. They suggested limiting all the children to one piece of cake since none of them need 2 or 3 pieces anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to like Ellyn Satter, but I think the idea that children sneak and overeat sugary/caloric foods if you don’t regularly serve them as part of healthy meals is BULLLLLLLLLL. BULL. SO MUCH BULL.

Picture a small hill. This is the contribution of making something “forbidden.”

Picture Mount Everest. This is the contribution of the foods being highly palatable and the body being biologically wired to want them.

As someone who struggled with binge eating and overcame it in adulthood, I can tell you you’re wrong! The reason is that things like Cheetos, cookies, etc actually dont taste that great and they don’t make you feel good, if you pay attention. So learning to tune into your body is what makes all the difference in the world.

Op I think you’re doing things right in terms of her eating but I’d be on the lookout for PCOS or high insulin. If her insulin is high, that’s what needs to be checked - not her weight - and that can be managed through meds, or more exercise, or other strategies. I still think you need to be very careful because you don’t want a kid to be obsessing about diabetes prevention either. But just food for thought that I think you have a good perspective but you still aren’t wrong that your instincts are saying something might be off here.

Binge eating is a physiological disorder. You likely would have been a binge eater regardless of what type of foods your parents had at home

this is mostly true and does not contradict anything in my post. It is more about the restriction aspect.

Parents don’t cause binge eating by telling their kid they can only have one piece piece of cake and not two or three. Or by not buying Cheetos except on road trips or whatever

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is her body size and shape drastically different from everyone in your family? Some people put on weight as adults through lifestyle factors and hormonal changes, but other people are just born into bigger bodies and will always be larger than other people.

The fact that she is also 97% for height implies she has a large frame. Even for heavier kids, isn’t the goal to keep them roughly on their growth curve? If her weight % keeps increasing relative to her height, that would seem more concerning than her height and weight increasing in the same proportion as her prior growth.

Height and weight have both moved higher than the curve recently to 98th and 99th. DH's family has weight and diabetes struggles and she basically looks like him in a wig.

This is your answer. What did he look like as a kid? Does he have sisters? The question is not “how do I turn my child born into a larger than average body into an average size or slim child?” Your question to the Dr or a dietitian should be “how do I help my child grow into a healthy adult who doesn’t yo yo diet or have an eating disorder”

Plus one thousand million

Ditto. I recommend reading Ellyn Satter's book "Your Child's Weight: Helping Without Harming" which directly addresses this.

Thank you. I just requested it from the library.

I think Ellyn Sattler gives out terrible advice for kids who have a tendency to gain weight in families that have obesity.

You have to restrict food if you want your child to be a normal weight and the sooner you do it the better. You can’t leave it up to your child to listen to their hunger cues because it’s messed up. Knowing both my DH and I have obesity on both sides and we both struggle with weight when our kids were little we never allowed extra servings of food. We ordered pizza but as a preschooler you just get one slice. If you are still hungry we had our kids go do something else or took them to walk the dogs.

If your child is obese eating the food you posted then it comes down to portion size. Don’t listen to Sattler, she just believes some kids are going to be fat. That kids can eat unlimited amounts of food you present to them for dinner if they are eating a balanced diet. Every year you prevent your kid from being overweight /obese is a win. I realize at least one of my kids will be overweight/obese eventually but I am trying to do all I can to prevent it.

So serve smaller portions then go do something else. Many kids aren’t even that hungry for breakfast. Start cutting back breakfast proportions. On the weekends we moved back the time we eat breakfast until 10 or 11 am so then we eat an early dinner. That means one meal less and we eat airpopped popcorn while watching a movie or go out for one scoop of ice cream at night. That is way less calories than a whole meal.

Restricting food absolutely leads to binging and ignoring hunger cues and a future of yo-yo dieting and food issues. The key thing with Satter's approach is that you decide what is served for meals and when they happen. The child chooses how much but that doesn't mean it has to be totally unlimited. It's OK that there may be limited amounts of some things, e.g. I only made x amount of macaroni and cheese or one piece of chicken per person and everyone has to share what's available. If you are still hungry there are other things on the table to eat. So if dinner is pizza, it's going to be served with salad and fruit. Still hungry after your slice, you have other things to eat. Nobody should be getting told that going around hungry should be the normal course of life.

When you are obese your hunger cues are already disordered. There is nothing wrong with feeling a little hunger. Up until the last 40 years or so unless you were ultra wealthy there wasn’t an unlimited amount of food at meals. Everyone got one serving and that was it. There wasn’t an endless supply of snacks including fresh fruit and salads. All those extra servings a child -who has a family history of obesity -eats gets their body used to eating a lot of food and then they gain weight and keep gaining weight.

OP’s kid is eating too much during meals of healthy food. That means portion sizes are too big and/or the child is eating multiple portions.

My family is unfortunately fat. My sister is a big proponent of Sattler and her kids eat huge amounts at meals. They are eating healthy things but are never told they can’t have seconds or thirds. So now they are used to eating more than they should. When I visit family members in another country I noticed there weren’t endless servings. You got one serving and that was it. Kids from that side of the family are all normal weight.

Maybe obesity is predominantly a genetic tendency—in which case your kid’s hunger signals came installed in a screwed up way, but then no amount of dietary restriction will lead to the outcome you seem to want, which is a thin child.

Or maybe obesity is the result of poor learned responses to hunger signals, in which case what you are doing is underlining that poor learned response and will have bad outcomes.

Pretty much no matter how you slice it, telling a hungry preschooler to walk a dog instead of eating is a form of child neglect. I am sorry that our culture is so whacked that you apparently feel it is both necessary and something you can get away with.