Anonymous wrote:Awful:
Cash bar
No +1
Dry wedding (when there is a full dinner and dancing and whatnot)
Running out of food/alcohol
Smashing cake in bride/groom’s face
More than three speeches at the reception
Instructions for guest attire beyond a basic dress code (“wear purple”, etc) — unless you are getting married on October 29, 30, or 31 and having a local wedding; then costumes or otherwise festive attire is acceptable

Inconvenient:
No kids
Destination wedding

Tolerable:
Dry wedding (Religious or cake-and-punch reception)
Beer/Wine bar

Tacky:
Asking for cash or cash disguised as something else (this includes the dollar dance)
Ballgowns and veils on age 40+ brides
More than three attendants
Bachelor/ette weekends
White (and veils) on divorcees or brides who have children
Registries for second weddings (bride or groom)
“Weddings” where no one actually gets married (thanks PP)
DJs
Garter tosses
Announcing or celebrating something unrelated during someone else’s wedding

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the hate for no kids weddings on this site. All etiquette experts say no kid weddings are absolutely fine, while many of the other items are faux pas.

I’m 45 and have been to a lot of weddings, and I think only two ever invited kids. Every other wedding I’ve attended is no kids.

I understand that sometimes people can’t attend a wedding if it’s no kids, because they don’t have childcare in a different city. No judgment if you can’t attend. DH and I have done some trade off weddings where only one of us attended because getting childcare was too much drama. It’s fine. We’ve also flown in family to watch the kids while we’ve gone out of town for weddings. And we’ve also used the hotel arranged babysitter for some weddings. All of these are fine options.

But for people who are like unilaterally writing off no kids weddings…. I feel sorry for them. They often refuse to separate from their kids, have never had a babysitter, or are highly anxious. It’s one thing to decline a no kid wedding because you’re unable to make it work (or you’re not close enough to the couple to put a ton of effort into making it work). But it’s another thing to refuse to make it work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything on that list is fine except for no +1s which is just cheap and doesn’t honor the friends of the couple. It can be awkward to go alone. Also not every single person *will* bring a +1 (if they have a group of friends coming, then they may feel fine going on their own).

I’m surprised so many posters hate the no+1. If you were single and invited to a wedding with a +1, you would just bring a random person? And expect that person to sit around while you socialize with the people that you know at the wedding?

I think no+1 is rude for married guests, those who have been in long-term relationships, or those who are couples that the bride and groom are friends with. But I don’t think the B&G should have to pay for single friends to bring someone along for the hell of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything on that list is fine except for no +1s which is just cheap and doesn’t honor the friends of the couple. It can be awkward to go alone. Also not every single person *will* bring a +1 (if they have a group of friends coming, then they may feel fine going on their own).

I’m surprised so many posters hate the no+1. If you were single and invited to a wedding with a +1, you would just bring a random person? And expect that person to sit around while you socialize with the people that you know at the wedding?

I think no+1 is rude for married guests, those who have been in long-term relationships, or those who are couples that the bride and groom are friends with. But I don’t think the B&G should have to pay for single friends to bring someone along for the hell of it.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the hate for no kids weddings on this site. All etiquette experts say no kid weddings are absolutely fine, while many of the other items are faux pas.

I’m 45 and have been to a lot of weddings, and I think only two ever invited kids. Every other wedding I’ve attended is no kids.

I understand that sometimes people can’t attend a wedding if it’s no kids, because they don’t have childcare in a different city. No judgment if you can’t attend. DH and I have done some trade off weddings where only one of us attended because getting childcare was too much drama. It’s fine. We’ve also flown in family to watch the kids while we’ve gone out of town for weddings. And we’ve also used the hotel arranged babysitter for some weddings. All of these are fine options.

But for people who are like unilaterally writing off no kids weddings…. I feel sorry for them. They often refuse to separate from their kids, have never had a babysitter, or are highly anxious. It’s one thing to decline a no kid wedding because you’re unable to make it work (or you’re not close enough to the couple to put a ton of effort into making it work). But it’s another thing to refuse to make it work.

Anonymous wrote:Everything on that list is fine except for no +1s which is just cheap and doesn’t honor the friends of the couple. It can be awkward to go alone. Also not every single person *will* bring a +1 (if they have a group of friends coming, then they may feel fine going on their own).