Anonymous wrote:I think I’d have a frank conversation before bailing. “Listen, I really like you. I love spending time with you, and things we do are really fun. However, I also like doing nice things sometimes. I’m worried that in this area we may not be compatible, and that’s ready disappointing because we seem to fit so well otherwise. Do you see any room to compromise here?” Maybe he says no, take it or leave it (in which case I’d leave it). Maybe he’s willing to consider some degree of change.

Anonymous wrote:I think the rigidity is more of the issue - OP is always accommodating his need to be frugal, and it seems that if she doesn’t, things would get unpleasant and uncomfortable. And his cheapness is definitely on the extreme end - I could not be with someone who ONLY xyz…(in the case of OP’s guy, he only has furniture found on the street). I don’t turn my nose at the way he lives, but it would be best for him to find someone who shares his values or can tolerate the extremes he lives by. I could not, but that does not make me materialistic or high-maintenance. Flexibility is an important to me in a relationship.

The degree to which some PPs have turned in OP for her reasonable concerns is rather ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:It’s amazing how many women on this site are only interested in men who make/have considerably more money than they do. The guy could be otherwise perfect in every way and they wouldn’t give him the time of day. That shows how transactional they are and how they see men in terms of usefulness to them — not as a match of co-equals. What would these women think of men who only dated women who make/have tons of moolah?

As a man who worked in a corporation where at least 2/3 of my bosses were women (and there are tons of companies brimming with highly paid executive women), I find this outlook increasingly retrograde in this day and age. These user women must be pretty easy to avoid though.

Anonymous wrote:Op sounds shallow and materialistic

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op sounds shallow and materialistic

Actually it sounds to me like middle aged divorced man has decided he is not going to spend a lot on his dating life and is just using OP for sex while spending as little as possible to get there.

Lol instead of spending a lot and not having sex?

Though at middle age no one is using the other for sex.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Run.

Exactly. He needs to find a better partner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op sounds shallow and materialistic

Oh, come one. This guy won't even furnish his house with furniture that came from anywhere but set out on a curb as garbage. That's an issue. It doesn't make her shallow and materialistic to be concerned about this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op sounds shallow and materialistic

Actually it sounds to me like middle aged divorced man has decided he is not going to spend a lot on his dating life and is just using OP for sex while spending as little as possible to get there.