Anonymous wrote:I think you’ll find almost all adult picky eaters fall into one of your excluded categories. Nobody wants to be an adult picky eater, it’s embarrassing and attention grabbing and not a desirable trait.

I am celiac and have an eating disorder and it’s not exactly easy to socialize, especially in this area. It’s very isolating.

+1
I am an adult picky eater (and I mean truly picky. I like this preparation of broccoli sometimes, but if it ends up tasting x way I don’t like) and I hate it. My spouse enjoys eating just about everything and variations in flavor and texture don’t bother him. Too much of a random spice doesn’t make his stomach hurt. A slight excess of fat doesn’t sometimes give him terrible bloating (but not other times with the same food).

But most of my life is like this, you can tell that the basic fact of my existence is irritating to some people IRL and so my politely not eating that which I don’t like bothering people isn’t about me, it’s about them. I am sorry if you have someone rude in your life (a year ago) who makes cooking miserable, that can’t be fun. But I didn’t choose this, I don’t like it and I wish I enjoyed a different array of foods. Be grateful you can eat it all.

Anonymous wrote:This question is not for people with allergies, religious dietary needs, or who have physical or mental health issues.

If you are a “regular” adult picky eater, what steps do you take to ensure that no one else is burdened by your issues and behavior?

Friends with allergies eat before or after they go out. Other just stop going out to eat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my past life I had to order lunches for the team and we had some very picky people.

One time the hotel messed up, and didnt have our set menu available so they made burgers. One of the guys had a plain burger with ketchup. Nothing else on it. He came up to me later and told me it was the best meal I'd ever ordered! I felt so bad that literally this plain ass burger made his day, but he must have really hated everything else I'd previously been ordering lol.

I'm a Picky Eater and when I get a hamburger it's burger+bun. Maybe some ketchup, maybe not. But definitely never more than those three things. I only learned in the summer of 2023 to finally like tomatoes but I so far only like the golden orange ones, and the idea of lettuce with a burger sounds awful to me because I want lettuce to be cold and a burger to be hot. I hate onion though I love the smell.

My god, so tedious. No one cares.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trust me, the burden is on me. I will eat what I like, and if the food is unpleasant to me, I will be hungry until I can get home and fix myself something later. I never make demands. This is the most important thing: I absolutely do not want anyone to notice or comment on what I eat. If you comment on what other people are consuming, you're the AH. Keep your opinions on what other people should or should not be eating or drinking to yourself.

I’m sorry, can you show me where anyone suggested that anyone say anything to adult picky eaters? You may want to start your own thread, since you have nothing to contribute to this one.

NP. Your OP said it all. You are a peach (nice word for what I am really thinking about you and your burden question). kick rocks.

Maybe some hosts ask to "shame" the guest if they notice they aren't eating certain things, but sometimes that's not the motivation. If I see you aren't eating something, I may wonder if I missed remembering you had an allergy or restriction and want to confirm so that I don't serve you things you cannot eat in the future.

My brother will call a restaurant ahead of time to ask about seasoning on steaks and burgers. Most of the time he can get by with one of those in some capacity (even if it involves cutting off the outer part of the steak).

At a friend's house who doesn't know his food issues, he's perfected the art of making it seem like he's eaten without actually eating anything.

For family and friends he knows, it's not a big deal. At Thanksgiving we make him a steak seasoned with just salt and a baked potato. If we have a cookout, we make sure to leave out a burger that's seasoned with just salt.

He has pretty bad food sensory issues but he's pretty quiet about them.

I'm a picky eater and also have food allergies, so while I enjoy cooking for myself or going out to mainstream restaurants that have basic menus (e.g., First Watch, Maggianos), I find it stressful to go to restaurants where the food will be unfamiliar to me or fancy/gourmet. I have no desire to suffer through a six course haute cuisine dinner, or go out for Ethiopian and eat just bread while everyone else is enjoying their meal. Fortunately, it's a non-issue. Food isn't a big part of my identity or social life, and since I don't have much in common with people who are really into the "foodie" lifestyle, I don't gravitate towards friendships that revolve around dinner parties, exploring new restaurants, etc. When I get together with friends, food is not the main event. They are happy to go somewhere that I can eat because the point is to spend time together and catch up over a meal. At home, we cook things we both like, and my DH sometimes has a different meal if he's craving something that l don't like- for example, he will grill salmon for himself and a chicken breast for me. Idk, OP - it's not really rocket science. You sound like a juvenile ahole who wants to control how other people eat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a gross question.

No it isn't.

Adult picky eaters are the most annoying people on the planet, especially when they start complaining about food at restaurants and dominate meal choices in the kitchen. Fo you're a picky eater, then the onus is on you and you should take a backseat 100% of the time when it comes time to picking restaurants or ideas for meals at home. Cook for yourself at home, and eat bread and butter only, at the restauran,t if you have to. Many of us like to enjoy the spices of life and get sick and tired of pasta and meatballs or meat and potatoes every meal.

Serious question. Do you have any friends in real life?

Anonymous wrote:I think you’ll find almost all adult picky eaters fall into one of your excluded categories. Nobody wants to be an adult picky eater, it’s embarrassing and attention grabbing and not a desirable trait.

I am celiac and have an eating disorder and it’s not exactly easy to socialize, especially in this area. It’s very isolating.

You are celiac? As opposed to having Celiac disease?

I think you’ll find almost all adult picky eaters fall into one of your excluded categories. Nobody wants to be an adult picky eater, it’s embarrassing and attention grabbing and not a desirable trait.

I am celiac and have an eating disorder and it’s not exactly easy to socialize, especially in this area. It’s very isolating.

Anonymous wrote:In my past life I had to order lunches for the team and we had some very picky people.

One time the hotel messed up, and didnt have our set menu available so they made burgers. One of the guys had a plain burger with ketchup. Nothing else on it. He came up to me later and told me it was the best meal I'd ever ordered! I felt so bad that literally this plain ass burger made his day, but he must have really hated everything else I'd previously been ordering lol.

I'm a Picky Eater and when I get a hamburger it's burger+bun. Maybe some ketchup, maybe not. But definitely never more than those three things. I only learned in the summer of 2023 to finally like tomatoes but I so far only like the golden orange ones, and the idea of lettuce with a burger sounds awful to me because I want lettuce to be cold and a burger to be hot. I hate onion though I love the smell.

I have a co-worker who is extremely picky and if the firm is paying for it, she will order a meal to go and give it to her husband for dinner and if it's self-pay, she just won't eat.

I’m an adult picky eater, and I actually think this is a reasonable question.

The biggest thing I did was to work hard in my 20s to find SOMETHING I can eat at any type of restaurant. It took a lot of trial and error and paying for meals at lots of places that I didn’t eat, but I can confidently eat any type of cuisine now - Indian, Ethiopian, sushi (that was the last one I figured out - but a California roll works for me!), Thai, Mexican, anywhere people want to go, I’m in.

The other thing I do is avoid dinner parties or going over to new friends’ houses for dinner. I don’t want to be a burden, I don’t want to present a list requirements, I don’t want to push food around on my plate and have people think they did something wrong. Once a friendship is well established and they know I’m picky, that gives folks the option of either asking/learning what I eat and accommodating, or not inviting me over for meals, both of which are great options.

My one pet peeve is people who try to talk me out of being a picky eater or pressure me to try stuff I don’t like. I’m an adult, I’ve tried, leave me alone.

I'm betting that most picky eaters can't cook their way out of a paper bag. If you can't cook, you are handicapped. You depend on others for one of the most elemental parts of life.