I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, girls at that age can be so mean. My daughters are in a private k-12 and we always talk about finding new friends and people who don't have someone to sit with at lunch at the beginning of the year. I wish I knew if you were at our school, there are people who would go out of their way to welcome your daughter if they knew I'm sure.

Change schools

OP are you in DCPS? (You are talking about charters, so that is why I am wondering.) If you have a bad DCPS HS you are zoned for, I would not send her there. The bad schools are just so bad. Can you rent a place inbounds for another school - maybe Jackson Reed or in MCPS?

Anonymous wrote:OP clearly has way more money than I do if she's willing to pay thousands to keep her DD at a school that makes her miserable just so that OP's two kids can attend the same school for her own convenience. Parents in public school don't have their MS and HS children attending the same school. We survive.

You definitely have more snark than her

I wouldn’t, bc her best chance of finding new people to sit with is on the first day.

No, I would pack her a really nice lunch, and tell her her best bet is breaking into a group, or forming a group, on the first day. I know it's stressful, but I promise it will increase her chances!

OP clearly has way more money than I do if she's willing to pay thousands to keep her DD at a school that makes her miserable just so that OP's two kids can attend the same school for her own convenience. Parents in public school don't have their MS and HS children attending the same school. We survive.

Jesus Christ these people sound toxic. And you are PAYING for this?

It sounds tempting of course, but no, I would not. This is similar to dropping your kids off at college on the first day, and then staying past that first day just to make sure they have what they need. Your child doesn't end up bonding with new people in the same boat, loses out on an opportunity to make new friends. It ends up being that your good intentions actually change the outcome of what could have been a learning opportunity for your child. I definitely understand not wanting your child to feel uncomfortable. But let's face it: school is for most.

As hard as it will be to say no, I wouldn’t pick her up. Perhaps you could suggest that she gives it a week to see how it goes, and if it’s still not going well at lunch by then, you’ll consider it.

I get it, OP - my kids went/are in a small private HS, and it can be tough when there aren’t many other students. Both of my kids had some bumps along the way (although fortunately no true bullying) but it worked out. They both found their solid friend groups in 10th grade, and I’m hoping 9th grade is the year for your daughter.

Beat wishes to her and to you!

I say this as a parent of a kid also in private but a K-8. The fact you are paying for this is crazy. You expect better when paying for something. I would switch to public if my daughter was going through what yours is.

Anonymous wrote:I would never pay a private school money for my child to be treated this way, nor would I make her start another school year in this horrid situation. I’d move her to public (moving homes if necessary) or another private school. There is nothing more important than a child’s health - both physical and mental.

PS - are you sure there aren’t a nice group of honors track kids at her current public option?

+100

Friend groups get mixed up in high school with all the newcomers even in a small private. I would give it the week and if she's still feeling sad on the weekend I'd make sure to do a special mother-daughter outing.

If it were me she would not have continued in this school in the first place though since she has friends at the local high school. I think social struggles are a major reason kids don't do well in academics in school and I would put her in a place where I knew she felt like she fit in more.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, you switched your kid to a small private K-12 for middle school. How, exactly, did you think it would go, OP? Middle school is the WORST time to start private school. I can't believe you didn't think about that. Your poor child and the horrible situation you put her in. Switch her to public ASAP.

How judgmental! I am sure the OP had reasons to move their child to private. Middle school is often a time where kids transfer to private if their parents are not happy about their public middle school options. My dd has plenty of friends that made this transition and are happier for making the move. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to have worked out for the OP's dd but there is no need to make them feel bad for making what they obviously thought at the time was the best decision.

No, I would not.