Anonymous
Post 08/05/2023 08:26     Subject: I hate being stuck at $230k HHI and feel poor AF
This is a thinly veiled dig at OP's spouse. OP, you are probably one of those people who would be happiest if their spouse made close to or more than them. It doesn't matter what the numbers are...it's the ratio.
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2023 08:21     Subject: I hate being stuck at $230k HHI and feel poor AF
Anonymous wrote:2500 take home on 150k after tax sounds too low. Double check your withholdings or maybe your health insurance is super expensive?

My DH makes 165 pretax, maxes 401k and pays healthcare, FSA, disability etc and he takes home around 4000/paycheck.


OP is counting the 2500 after maxing the 401k, right? Together they're saving like 30k a year in retirement but they don't seem to count it.

I also wonder if they just started making this income if they are really 40. I was a single person making far less and I was still able to accumulate savings over the years.
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2023 08:01     Subject: I hate being stuck at $230k HHI and feel poor AF
I don't feel sorry for you. At all.
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2023 07:58     Subject: Re:I hate being stuck at $230k HHI and feel poor AF
Focus on your biggest expenses.

-You guys don't have to live in a 3 bedroom house. You are two people. You could rent or buy a one or two bedroom apartment.

-You don't need a car. You live in a city with great public transportation. You'd save on gas, insurance, and car payments.

You can save aggressively for retirement and have more fun money if you did these two things.

Anonymous
Post 08/05/2023 07:54     Subject: I hate being stuck at $230k HHI and feel poor AF
2500 take home on 150k after tax sounds too low. Double check your withholdings or maybe your health insurance is super expensive?

My DH makes 165 pretax, maxes 401k and pays healthcare, FSA, disability etc and he takes home around 4000/paycheck.
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2023 07:30     Subject: I hate being stuck at $230k HHI and feel poor AF
NP here, and I bring in about $6k/month after everything. Between January and March this year our health expenses were about $10k (mostly dental), so it can get eaten up quickly. I pay $1k pre-tax for health and dental and just have to say insurance in this country sucks.
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2023 07:26     Subject: I hate being stuck at $230k HHI and feel poor AF
We've been in your shoes. Track your net worth every month which may help you mentally feel like you're making progress. You might take a hit from monthly cash flow due to whatever issue comes up that month but overall your retirement and home equity go up. Maybe it'll help.
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2023 07:21     Subject: I hate being stuck at $230k HHI and feel poor AF
Because of boomers taking away our pensions we have to fully fund a 401k it's a sneak tax on our income. Don't get me started on social security which we should make optional to avoid paying for the boomers
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2023 07:18     Subject: I hate being stuck at $230k HHI and feel poor AF
Thanks for the laugh.
From a widowed mom making 65k (still have survivors benefits for 1 child for 2 more years, by which time I need to have upped my income to replace that benefit)
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2023 07:07     Subject: I hate being stuck at $230k HHI and feel poor AF
Nowhere do you say that you and DH invest what's left over and have for yours. You go on and on about weddings and car breaking down. I doubt they happen to you more often that other people, and no childcare!
Learn to invest your money and stop eating so much ($800?)at 40.
I turned $60k into $300k in 3 years, and this was when I had no idea what I was doing. Since it was so darn interesting that it happened, I started to really get into it. Now I have extra money to play with and simply grow small amount.
You have the extra money every month, but instead of growing it, you concentrate on "I have no money left".
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2023 06:37     Subject: I hate being stuck at $230k HHI and feel poor AF
Sounds like a crazy FIRE dude. That system will make most people hate life.
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2023 00:49     Subject: I hate being stuck at $230k HHI and feel poor AF
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What's your budget? You bring home probably around $10,000 or $11,000 a month, right? And pay, what, $3000 or $3500 towards your mortgage? Where does the rest of it go?


I wish it were this month per month. After taxes health care and 401k max, $230k is trash income. Like I said, I make about $150k and after taxes, 401k healthcare and all of the deductions, I'm only pulling $5000 per mo. My spouse who makes $72k and who contributes only 13% only pulls home about $3500 per mo after contributions, tax, and other deductions. Total take home is about $8500 per mo. Mortgage is $3100 for a $560k loan at 2.87% interest. Internet 80, gas + electric =$200-300, entertainment on streaming apps = $50, groceries = $500-600 per mo..other crap for gas, clothes etc. Not even counting. Then when you get hit with surprise car and hkuse repairs I just get crushed. I feel so stupidly poor on this salary. How the hell do American families making less than $100k survive? The median hhi is well below $100k, so clearly people with families are doing it. I'm also dumbfounded by the savings levels and invesmtnet levels by people on this forum purportedly to be single moms making $140-170k who claim claim to have $50k in emergency savings, $700k in retirement, and $100k saved for college. Yeah sure, do you ever have a home repair, major car repair, or need a new car? I just can't believe these #s on this forum.


You're only spending half your take home. Unless you have another $4k/month in expenses, I'm not sure why you say you don't have any money.


OP is also saving super aggressively for retirement and then calling what is left (which pays a 3k mortgage and a nice lifestyle with money leftover) "trash money."

Guess what, the money going into your 401ks is also your income. You are making the choice to save very aggressively for retirement while also building equity in a home. That money is actually still yours, it's just allocated to investments. That's it.

If it feels like you need more cash, you could have more cash very easily. Reallocate your income to create more cashflow. It can be a small adjustment.

Problem solved. OP, you are being melodramatic about this and you don't actually even have a problem.


Yep. OP has tens of thousands of extra dollars a year to do whatever the hell she wants with, plus tens of thousands going into retirement savings every year, plus home equity that's growing steadily every year. That is not poor by any stretch of the imagination.
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2023 00:41     Subject: I hate being stuck at $230k HHI and feel poor AF
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How does a couple earning $20,000 gross a month bring home only $8,500 net? That math doesn't work. Did you mess up your tax withholding? Or are you paying like $40,000 a year for your health insurance or something?


You clearly do not understand taxes.


All taxes combined should be like 40%-ish, and only apply to the amounts after retirement and health insurance has been subtracted.
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2023 00:32     Subject: I hate being stuck at $230k HHI and feel poor AF
Get the husband to make more money. Don’t increase expenses.
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2023 00:26     Subject: I hate being stuck at $230k HHI and feel poor AF
Anonymous wrote:How does a couple earning $20,000 gross a month bring home only $8,500 net? That math doesn't work. Did you mess up your tax withholding? Or are you paying like $40,000 a year for your health insurance or something?


You clearly do not understand taxes.