Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cant believe parents on here would rather other parents scroll DCUM than play with their kids AND JUDGE THEM for playing with their kids?! WTAF am I reading?

If you want to be a lazy unengaged parent that's fine, but let the rest of us play with our kids if we want. Sheesh.

The problem you might be struggling with is your hypervigilant narcissism. Playing with your kids is normal behavior, e.g., in a park or a baseball field. But there are parents climbing on playground equipment and jungle gyms - that's not good parenting, that's stunted development and a rejection of "adulting."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do both with occasionally. They'll ask to play tag or the ground is lava. If they ask us to join, why should we say no?.... Just because you don't want to engage with your child at the playground? Some days we spend 2 hours at the playground, go home shower and go to bed. So if we didn't engage with them there we literally would have no interaction with them for the day is that we work long hours....

These threads are wild.... Who would have thought people would complain about parents actually parenting their children?.

Parenting is also letting your children learn how to play independently. I am going to assume that your kids are in daycare/aftercare/camp and are at least learning independent play and how to play with other children in those settings? Because the worst are nanny kids who don't know how to interact with other children.

*Before you call me an SAHM, I'm not, I work full-time and my kids are in camp right now.

And why do you care?

Because I'd prefer my kids not have to deal with adults who don't know how to function independently when they grow up.

That's the next level of helicoptering. I'd rather you play with your kids than control mine.

I think you're missing the point. Let your kids learn how to play with stranger kids (of course keep an eye on them, I'm not advocating for scrolling through your phone and not paying for attention). It will help them when they're older and their parents aren't there to facilitate friendships for them.

I have nieces and nephews that are young adults - this is a real issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do both with occasionally. They'll ask to play tag or the ground is lava. If they ask us to join, why should we say no?.... Just because you don't want to engage with your child at the playground? Some days we spend 2 hours at the playground, go home shower and go to bed. So if we didn't engage with them there we literally would have no interaction with them for the day is that we work long hours....

These threads are wild.... Who would have thought people would complain about parents actually parenting their children?.

Parenting is also letting your children learn how to play independently. I am going to assume that your kids are in daycare/aftercare/camp and are at least learning independent play and how to play with other children in those settings? Because the worst are nanny kids who don't know how to interact with other children.

*Before you call me an SAHM, I'm not, I work full-time and my kids are in camp right now.

And why do you care?

Because I'd prefer my kids not have to deal with adults who don't know how to function independently when they grow up.

That's the next level of helicoptering. I'd rather you play with your kids than control mine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do both with occasionally. They'll ask to play tag or the ground is lava. If they ask us to join, why should we say no?.... Just because you don't want to engage with your child at the playground? Some days we spend 2 hours at the playground, go home shower and go to bed. So if we didn't engage with them there we literally would have no interaction with them for the day is that we work long hours....

These threads are wild.... Who would have thought people would complain about parents actually parenting their children?.

Parenting is also letting your children learn how to play independently. I am going to assume that your kids are in daycare/aftercare/camp and are at least learning independent play and how to play with other children in those settings? Because the worst are nanny kids who don't know how to interact with other children.

*Before you call me an SAHM, I'm not, I work full-time and my kids are in camp right now.

And why do you care?

Because I'd prefer my kids not have to deal with adults who don't know how to function independently when they grow up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do both with occasionally. They'll ask to play tag or the ground is lava. If they ask us to join, why should we say no?.... Just because you don't want to engage with your child at the playground? Some days we spend 2 hours at the playground, go home shower and go to bed. So if we didn't engage with them there we literally would have no interaction with them for the day is that we work long hours....

These threads are wild.... Who would have thought people would complain about parents actually parenting their children?.

Parenting is also letting your children learn how to play independently. I am going to assume that your kids are in daycare/aftercare/camp and are at least learning independent play and how to play with other children in those settings? Because the worst are nanny kids who don't know how to interact with other children.

*Before you call me an SAHM, I'm not, I work full-time and my kids are in camp right now.

And why do you care?

Anonymous wrote:As a gen-X parent of a young kid, I find this so bizarre. I refuse. I will give hugs and snacks, encourage kid to play by herself until others come, but that's it. However, I see millennial parents do it all of the time - or actively police the playground to make sure their kid gets the choice equipment. In one case, one of the parents spoke to my kid in loud (and poor) Spanish to ask her to move off the slide (We're Middle Eastern).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do both with occasionally. They'll ask to play tag or the ground is lava. If they ask us to join, why should we say no?.... Just because you don't want to engage with your child at the playground? Some days we spend 2 hours at the playground, go home shower and go to bed. So if we didn't engage with them there we literally would have no interaction with them for the day is that we work long hours....

These threads are wild.... Who would have thought people would complain about parents actually parenting their children?.

Base don her follow-up comment I think OP takes issue with a playground full of kids where the kids not playing together since they are playing with their caregivers instead, and I actually can understand that concern. Kids should learn how to play with each other. And another element that is going on here is that millennial parents have been pressured to give their kids lots of attention. I've heard a lot of people shame parents for *not* playing with their kids at the playground, which is messed up.

I tend to sit on a bench at the playground while my husband actually plays with the kids. But other kids often join in so that makes it really fun.

+1

The playground is not just place for physical activity, but also a place for kids can practice their social skills and so I understand what OP means by unsettling. She’s not saying that kids playing with Parents is bad.

When I was a SAHM, and my kids weren't in preschool yet, then I'd take them to the playground and think of it as a great chance for me to sit and check in with my mom, or talk to an adult, or nurse the baby, while they played and practiced their social skills. That was a great use of their time on the playground.

When I was back at work, and DH or I chose to take my kids, who had spent the week socializing at daycare/school, to the park and play and connect with them, that was also a great use of their time on the playground.

To describe either as "unsettling" is bizarre and judgmental.

What's unsettling to OP isn't *your* particular choice, it's seeing a bunch of kids at a playground playing with their caregivers instead of each other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cant believe parents on here would rather other parents scroll DCUM than play with their kids AND JUDGE THEM for playing with their kids?! WTAF am I reading?

If you want to be a lazy unengaged parent that's fine, but let the rest of us play with our kids if we want. Sheesh.

The problem you might be struggling with is your hypervigilant narcissism. Playing with your kids is normal behavior, e.g., in a park or a baseball field. But there are parents climbing on playground equipment and jungle gyms - that's not good parenting, that's stunted development and a rejection of "adulting."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Maybe your narrow, petty, little mind can stretch to understand that there are different kinds of parenting that work for different kinds of people. Some adults are "sit on a bench" sort of parents. Some adults are "engage with their kids" sort of people. It depends on their inborn character traits, and perhaps what they experienced in their own childhoods. It all works out in the end and the planet still spins on its axis.

Are you talking to me, the Gen X mom who posted above? I'm not sure why you are so sarcastic, and mean. Maybe I touched a nerve. I will tell you that my young adult children are well-adjusted, young adults who can navigate problems, and problem people, quite well. And without my help. They learned how to deal with people on the playground, in real time, in a non-structured environment. They didn't have me always hovering, always distracting, always keeping other kids at bay. Younger parents might not even realize what they're doing in serving as an emotional human shield, it may be subliminal. Maybe they are not connecting the dots. Or it's narcissism. Narcissists attach their kids to their hip, there is very little breathing room. Look at me, talk to me, only. So there's that, too.

Let the kids learn to play with other kids. It will serve them well in the long run.

Amen! Somehow I forgot that by having kids later I would be parenting with millennials - it's exhausting, but I see how my kids are independent, open to life, anxiety-free and many millennial kids cannot deal with the daily slings and arrows of kindergarten.

Anonymous wrote:I cant believe parents on here would rather other parents scroll DCUM than play with their kids AND JUDGE THEM for playing with their kids?! WTAF am I reading?

If you want to be a lazy unengaged parent that's fine, but let the rest of us play with our kids if we want. Sheesh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Maybe your narrow, petty, little mind can stretch to understand that there are different kinds of parenting that work for different kinds of people. Some adults are "sit on a bench" sort of parents. Some adults are "engage with their kids" sort of people. It depends on their inborn character traits, and perhaps what they experienced in their own childhoods. It all works out in the end and the planet still spins on its axis.

Are you talking to me, the Gen X mom who posted above? I'm not sure why you are so sarcastic, and mean. Maybe I touched a nerve. I will tell you that my young adult children are well-adjusted, young adults who can navigate problems, and problem people, quite well. And without my help. They learned how to deal with people on the playground, in real time, in a non-structured environment. They didn't have me always hovering, always distracting, always keeping other kids at bay. Younger parents might not even realize what they're doing in serving as an emotional human shield, it may be subliminal. Maybe they are not connecting the dots. Or it's narcissism. Narcissists attach their kids to their hip, there is very little breathing room. Look at me, talk to me, only. So there's that, too.

Let the kids learn to play with other kids. It will serve them well in the long run.