Anonymous
Post 07/26/2023 22:16     Subject: Would you keep grinding or retire early?
I don’t think you have enough cash to retire. Too much of your money is tied up in age-restricted retirement accounts that you can’t touch for another ten years and your kids are heading to college soon. Yes, your husband makes a lot of money, but something tells me you’re used to living off of both paychecks (judging from your cash reserves) and would need to downgrade your lifestyle to be a SAHM. If these assumptions are false, retire early and ride off into the sunset.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2023 18:58     Subject: Would you keep grinding or retire early?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I roll my eyes when women claim they need to stay at home for their teenage kids. If you need to stay at home and not work for two teens, you are doing something wrong.

Keep looking for another job but be a little picky if you want. Try to consult and do part time.

Do NOT leave the workforce entirely.

What about college? Is that fully funded in 529s?


or leave the workforce and never look back. She doesn't need to work. Enjoy the freedom of never answering to anybody.


She could work and DH can stay home too. Why is it always woman who gets to stay home??


Because in my experiences, it's the women who actually have the desire to work part time/give up their job completely in return for adding in more "work for the family". Have not met many men who actually want to stop working in their 40s/early 50s, especially if the trade off was they had to instead spend 5-6 hours a day doing housework/cooking/cleaning/errands/driving the kids to activities/sitting attentively at the kids activities/etc. Who does it is up to the family themselves.
In our house, the wife became the SAHP when first was born. We were both happy with that decision---it was mine to make---I could stay home or send the kid to daycare/hire a nanny. I chose staying home with my kids, with full support of my spouse. While they Joke about it, they never would have actually wanted to quit their job and stay home---would have driven them crazy---they wouldn't have wanted to do all the work associated with staying home with the kids and would have missed interaction with adults and doing their job. While I made over 100K at age 28 when I quit, they still made much more and had the drive/determination to make even more, so it made sense for them to work and me to stay home.


Giving up $250k income so you can stay home and clean during the day? Hire a house manager for $80k, but do make time to pickup and go to those kids games.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2023 18:55     Subject: Would you keep grinding or retire early?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I roll my eyes when women claim they need to stay at home for their teenage kids. If you need to stay at home and not work for two teens, you are doing something wrong.

Keep looking for another job but be a little picky if you want. Try to consult and do part time.

Do NOT leave the workforce entirely.

What about college? Is that fully funded in 529s?


Why roll your eyes? It's a well known fact that the MS/HS years are almost more important for having a parent around for the kids than even the 0-5. Despite many parents best efforts, the teen years can be challenging and a time when many head down the wrong path with the wrong group of peers. Much easier to be involved if you are home at 3pm when they get off school and around/available to be involved in their life. Kids do try to break the rules and get away with shit they shouldn't, often times it is done at a home where there is no adult presence. Don't kid yourself, the teens appreciate it if at least one parent is at their 3pm baseball/softball/football games---they may not say much but they see other kids have at least one parent there, sometime the whole family and grandparents and aunts/uncles/etc.
Much harder to truly know what your teen is doing if no adult is home until 6/7pm each day.

So ideally it would be best for OP to have a part time job/flexible job where they can still work from home majority of the time. OP wants to be around for her kids and does not wish to have the stress of a full time job that takes her away to the office daily.


Saying something is a fact is not a fact

MS Teens are crazy busy with school activities and homework. Sure if your kid doesn’t do anything and is just coming home bored they may get up to something but they don’t want to hang with parents. Summer time they have jobs or away programs or work as counselors.

Your bulk time with kids is done; https://www.1000hoursoutside.com/blog/time-with-kids-before-age-12. I support my facts with references.

Sure be home early is a good goal, that remains true for all ages, so a flexible or part time job for one spouse works best. But teen years don’t need you home for even half the day.

Especially with an overworked DH, how could you think that?
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2023 18:40     Subject: Would you keep grinding or retire early?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I roll my eyes when women claim they need to stay at home for their teenage kids. If you need to stay at home and not work for two teens, you are doing something wrong.

Keep looking for another job but be a little picky if you want. Try to consult and do part time.

Do NOT leave the workforce entirely.

What about college? Is that fully funded in 529s?


or leave the workforce and never look back. She doesn't need to work. Enjoy the freedom of never answering to anybody.


She could work and DH can stay home too. Why is it always woman who gets to stay home??


Because in my experiences, it's the women who actually have the desire to work part time/give up their job completely in return for adding in more "work for the family". Have not met many men who actually want to stop working in their 40s/early 50s, especially if the trade off was they had to instead spend 5-6 hours a day doing housework/cooking/cleaning/errands/driving the kids to activities/sitting attentively at the kids activities/etc. Who does it is up to the family themselves.
In our house, the wife became the SAHP when first was born. We were both happy with that decision---it was mine to make---I could stay home or send the kid to daycare/hire a nanny. I chose staying home with my kids, with full support of my spouse. While they Joke about it, they never would have actually wanted to quit their job and stay home---would have driven them crazy---they wouldn't have wanted to do all the work associated with staying home with the kids and would have missed interaction with adults and doing their job. While I made over 100K at age 28 when I quit, they still made much more and had the drive/determination to make even more, so it made sense for them to work and me to stay home.


I would agree with this. I personally worked maybe 1/2 the week and made 75% of my husbands salary. We could live off of a single salary if we wanted to. While my husband will joke about being the trophy husband and I make the income for family, we both knew that was a ridiculous thought. As a family unit you have to figure out who has the best earning potential. Now if I made 2x his salary. Totally makes sense for him to quit. Not the case. And nor do I have the desire to climb the corporate ladder. I had an old boss who missed out on her sons first steps because of work travel. For me that type of life isn’t worth it so I would prefer to be the one to stay home.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2023 18:32     Subject: Would you keep grinding or retire early?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I roll my eyes when women claim they need to stay at home for their teenage kids. If you need to stay at home and not work for two teens, you are doing something wrong.

Keep looking for another job but be a little picky if you want. Try to consult and do part time.

Do NOT leave the workforce entirely.

What about college? Is that fully funded in 529s?


or leave the workforce and never look back. She doesn't need to work. Enjoy the freedom of never answering to anybody.


She could work and DH can stay home too. Why is it always woman who gets to stay home??


Because in my experiences, it's the women who actually have the desire to work part time/give up their job completely in return for adding in more "work for the family". Have not met many men who actually want to stop working in their 40s/early 50s, especially if the trade off was they had to instead spend 5-6 hours a day doing housework/cooking/cleaning/errands/driving the kids to activities/sitting attentively at the kids activities/etc. Who does it is up to the family themselves.
In our house, the wife became the SAHP when first was born. We were both happy with that decision---it was mine to make---I could stay home or send the kid to daycare/hire a nanny. I chose staying home with my kids, with full support of my spouse. While they Joke about it, they never would have actually wanted to quit their job and stay home---would have driven them crazy---they wouldn't have wanted to do all the work associated with staying home with the kids and would have missed interaction with adults and doing their job. While I made over 100K at age 28 when I quit, they still made much more and had the drive/determination to make even more, so it made sense for them to work and me to stay home.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2023 18:26     Subject: Would you keep grinding or retire early?
Anonymous wrote:I roll my eyes when women claim they need to stay at home for their teenage kids. If you need to stay at home and not work for two teens, you are doing something wrong.

Keep looking for another job but be a little picky if you want. Try to consult and do part time.

Do NOT leave the workforce entirely.

What about college? Is that fully funded in 529s?


Why roll your eyes? It's a well known fact that the MS/HS years are almost more important for having a parent around for the kids than even the 0-5. Despite many parents best efforts, the teen years can be challenging and a time when many head down the wrong path with the wrong group of peers. Much easier to be involved if you are home at 3pm when they get off school and around/available to be involved in their life. Kids do try to break the rules and get away with shit they shouldn't, often times it is done at a home where there is no adult presence. Don't kid yourself, the teens appreciate it if at least one parent is at their 3pm baseball/softball/football games---they may not say much but they see other kids have at least one parent there, sometime the whole family and grandparents and aunts/uncles/etc.
Much harder to truly know what your teen is doing if no adult is home until 6/7pm each day.

So ideally it would be best for OP to have a part time job/flexible job where they can still work from home majority of the time. OP wants to be around for her kids and does not wish to have the stress of a full time job that takes her away to the office daily.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2023 17:24     Subject: Would you keep grinding or retire early?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I roll my eyes when women claim they need to stay at home for their teenage kids. If you need to stay at home and not work for two teens, you are doing something wrong.

Keep looking for another job but be a little picky if you want. Try to consult and do part time.

Do NOT leave the workforce entirely.

What about college? Is that fully funded in 529s?


or leave the workforce and never look back. She doesn't need to work. Enjoy the freedom of never answering to anybody.


She could work and DH can stay home too. Why is it always woman who gets to stay home??
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2023 17:19     Subject: Would you keep grinding or retire early?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I roll my eyes when women claim they need to stay at home for their teenage kids. If you need to stay at home and not work for two teens, you are doing something wrong.

Keep looking for another job but be a little picky if you want. Try to consult and do part time.

Do NOT leave the workforce entirely.

What about college? Is that fully funded in 529s?


Seriously. It’s like some people can’t imagine NOT grinding away. You could have 40 million and they’d caution you about being dependent on your husband.
or leave the workforce and never look back. She doesn't need to work. Enjoy the freedom of never answering to anybody.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2023 17:18     Subject: Would you keep grinding or retire early?
Yes what about college savings? You have three teenagers and I don't think you've mentioned any college savings. That's really a huge one. I don't think you'll qualify for aid.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2023 17:06     Subject: Would you keep grinding or retire early?
Anonymous wrote:I roll my eyes when women claim they need to stay at home for their teenage kids. If you need to stay at home and not work for two teens, you are doing something wrong.

Keep looking for another job but be a little picky if you want. Try to consult and do part time.

Do NOT leave the workforce entirely.

What about college? Is that fully funded in 529s?


or leave the workforce and never look back. She doesn't need to work. Enjoy the freedom of never answering to anybody.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2023 17:01     Subject: Would you keep grinding or retire early?
I roll my eyes when women claim they need to stay at home for their teenage kids. If you need to stay at home and not work for two teens, you are doing something wrong.

Keep looking for another job but be a little picky if you want. Try to consult and do part time.

Do NOT leave the workforce entirely.

What about college? Is that fully funded in 529s?
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2023 16:58     Subject: Would you keep grinding or retire early?
The general rule of thumb is that you can extract 4 percent/year from your portfolio and increase your rake by inflation (3%) each year if you invest in a 60/40 stock/bond portfolio. Given that you have $6 million, you could start with $240k retirement income and increase the amount by 3%/year. Of course, you could supplement that with freelance work or even return full-time to a less stressful job. Also, at 62, you and your husband could claim social security. Don’t forget about medical insurance. Medicare doesn’t kick in until 65.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2023 12:08     Subject: Re:Would you keep grinding or retire early?
One word: plastics
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2023 12:04     Subject: Would you keep grinding or retire early?
OP, you have enough saved that you can live off your husband's salary, so you could go either way. However, his travel means that life would be very difficult if you had to go into the office.

I would keep applying to jobs, but don't stress about it. Even if they don't specify remote, you can ask about it. In the meantime, use your time off to make life easier for the whole family. Take o some tasks that he would normally do so he can benefit from a less stressful life too.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2023 08:10     Subject: Re:Would you keep grinding or retire early?
You have enough saved that you could both retire early.