Anonymous
Post 07/24/2023 20:08     Subject: All my take home pay would go to the nanny….
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I see a lot of people suggesting hiring different sources but I’m not sure I’d have the mental energy for that. I’d rather interview some qualified Nannie’s that are willing to do household tasks too, but one that I can trust so that it can hopefully be someone that stays with my family for several years.


How old are your kids?

If you are paying $6,000/mo for a nanny, that's $1500/week. I am certain that you can find a nanny for cheaper than that because that's an insane childcare bill. Kids are expensive, but there SHOULD be differences in cost for an elementary schooler who just needs aftercare and an infant who needs 3 naps and bottles.


For THREE kids? Yeah, you’re wrong. Do you live in Tulsa, OK or something?


The nanny would have the kids for three hours a day. Fifteen hours of work does not equal $1500 a week. That’s what we are trying to get OP to realize.


Nobody is going to take a job and show up and be reliable for three hours daily. That wouldn’t be a “nanny” anyway.

But I think, based on the rest of her post, what she really needs is regular house cleaners or a housekeeper.


+1. She wants a regular house keeper or "house manager" who is willing to also help with the kids for 3-4 hours per day, as well as manage the kids all day during breaks/days off school. That would be easier to find for $60-70K/year when you are giving them 40-45 hours per week. Just have to find someone who is good with kids who is also willing to do the house managment/laundry/light cooking/ cleaning/etc. Since the kids are ES aged, it should be easier to find than with infants/toddlers. But Without offering good pay and 40 hour work week, yes it would be difficult to find someone. Nobody wants to be reliable for only 4 hours most days.
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2023 20:02     Subject: All my take home pay would go to the nanny….
Anonymous wrote:Well, you just have to evolve your life and make it more simple if you choose to work.

When my kids were elementary or younger, we had "mommy kiddo" time while doing groceries, doing the dishes, watering the plants and folding the laundry. It taught them necessary life skills and we talked about their day and friends.

Now my kids will be starting HS and younger MS. They both have part time summer camps and we both are WFH but back to back meetings. They completely do the dishes, prepare lunch for us. They in fact even cleaned up our pantry (just because they had free time on their hands!). They still see friends every day for 3 hours at their pool and play x-box 4-5 times a week + Tennis + Piano so spending 30-40 mins every day is not a really big deal for them. Plus they chat and catch up while doing the work together. We do have housekeepers to come and clean every two weeks and do a lot of fresh salads, simple lunches like sandwiches. 2-3 times takeouts a week. Some frozen food when we are too tired to cook

Ask your elementary kids to help out with simple tasks.. and outsource quite a lot.

The life that you are imagining with full time household help (Nanny doesn't cut it) is not what middle class families have at least not in US. Move to another country like India.


DP but this is lovely.
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2023 20:01     Subject: All my take home pay would go to the nanny….
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH and I both work FT. DH makes enough money to pay for all our expenses and save about $100k each year for retirement.

This increase in income for DH is recent, so we only have about $1.5M in retirement right now (we are both mid40s).

We have three young elementary aged kids, and I’m feeling worn out by working full time and doing all the kid and house stuff (DH work long hours). We are thinking about hiring a nanny to help with the kids, and the cost for one will be all of my take-home pay - about $6K per month. Or I could quit my job and be a SAHP.

But I am saving for retirement in my 401k, and my job also provides our benefits, so even with the nanny we would be getting some financial benefit from my continuing to work.

I’m having a hard time weighing the financial aspect of quitting to SAH vs. hiring a nanny - is there anything else I’m not thinking about?

If money wasn’t an issue at all, I would probably quit and SAH. I want more time with my kids. But I will still be in my 50s when the youngest finished high school to I wonder what I’ll do then.


Nannies do not cost $72k/year in the DC area nor in most areas, it is around 45k/year w/ multiple kids.

You need to adjust your search and you can also save more by doing the following
1) Opt for a live, we have one that is about 38k/year fully legal for 2 kids but we have an entire level she lives in with it's own kitchen, bathroom and living room. You will need to add only another 4k for nanny taxes (yes they tax you).
2) Aupair is about $25k/year with no limit on number of kids, but you'ld need to be prepared for someone new every 1-2 years, but most regular nannies are transient like that anyways.


We live 45 minutes outside nyc and pay our nanny $70K a year to watch our three kids and the oldest is pre-K until 2:30 everyday and our middle child is in preschool 3x a week for three hours at a time. It is definitely the going rate for a good nanny.

Especially for a nanny whom you want to do light housekeeping/meal prep when the kids are in school. You get what you pay for. For $35K/year maybe a nanny wont do house work, but for $70K I'm willing to bet you can find someone willing to do a bit more duties while not on kid duty
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2023 20:01     Subject: All my take home pay would go to the nanny….
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I see a lot of people suggesting hiring different sources but I’m not sure I’d have the mental energy for that. I’d rather interview some qualified Nannie’s that are willing to do household tasks too, but one that I can trust so that it can hopefully be someone that stays with my family for several years.


How old are your kids?

If you are paying $6,000/mo for a nanny, that's $1500/week. I am certain that you can find a nanny for cheaper than that because that's an insane childcare bill. Kids are expensive, but there SHOULD be differences in cost for an elementary schooler who just needs aftercare and an infant who needs 3 naps and bottles.


For THREE kids? Yeah, you’re wrong. Do you live in Tulsa, OK or something?


The nanny would have the kids for three hours a day. Fifteen hours of work does not equal $1500 a week. That’s what we are trying to get OP to realize.


Nobody is going to take a job and show up and be reliable for three hours daily. That wouldn’t be a “nanny” anyway.

But I think, based on the rest of her post, what she really needs is regular house cleaners or a housekeeper.
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2023 19:59     Subject: All my take home pay would go to the nanny….
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:They're all in elementary school and you're thinking about getting a nanny now? Get a nanny if you like, but will a nanny actually solve the problem that you're having?


+1. I have a newborn, a 21 month old, and a four year old…DH and I both work and we have a nanny, but by early elementary years I’m projecting we’ll probably still need help in the afternoon with driving for activities and that summer and school breaks will be tough, but I would not expect to need a FT nanny. Would you pay the nanny for a full day?


It sounds like she ideally wants a nanny/housekeeper---so someone who would be on duty with the kids from 2:30pm-6/7pm and the rest of the day would run errands/grocery shop, do laundry, keep the house clean, perhaps prep dinner between noon/2pm before getting the kids from school, etc. On the days kids don't have school then they would turn into more nanny duties
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2023 19:58     Subject: All my take home pay would go to the nanny….
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:They're all in elementary school and you're thinking about getting a nanny now? Get a nanny if you like, but will a nanny actually solve the problem that you're having?


+1. I have a newborn, a 21 month old, and a four year old…DH and I both work and we have a nanny, but by early elementary years I’m projecting we’ll probably still need help in the afternoon with driving for activities and that summer and school breaks will be tough, but I would not expect to need a FT nanny. Would you pay the nanny for a full day?


Yes, because otherwise you won’t have a nanny. The “part time after school care and driver” role is something every family wants to hire for and damn near nobody wants to do reliably on an ongoing basis, for a few hours daily in the middle of the day. No, not even “college students or SAHMs looking for a little extra income.”
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2023 19:57     Subject: All my take home pay would go to the nanny….
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I see a lot of people suggesting hiring different sources but I’m not sure I’d have the mental energy for that. I’d rather interview some qualified Nannie’s that are willing to do household tasks too, but one that I can trust so that it can hopefully be someone that stays with my family for several years.


How old are your kids?

If you are paying $6,000/mo for a nanny, that's $1500/week. I am certain that you can find a nanny for cheaper than that because that's an insane childcare bill. Kids are expensive, but there SHOULD be differences in cost for an elementary schooler who just needs aftercare and an infant who needs 3 naps and bottles.


For THREE kids? Yeah, you’re wrong. Do you live in Tulsa, OK or something?


The nanny would have the kids for three hours a day. Fifteen hours of work does not equal $1500 a week. That’s what we are trying to get OP to realize.
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2023 19:56     Subject: All my take home pay would go to the nanny….
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH and I both work FT. DH makes enough money to pay for all our expenses and save about $100k each year for retirement.

This increase in income for DH is recent, so we only have about $1.5M in retirement right now (we are both mid40s).

We have three young elementary aged kids, and I’m feeling worn out by working full time and doing all the kid and house stuff (DH work long hours). We are thinking about hiring a nanny to help with the kids, and the cost for one will be all of my take-home pay - about $6K per month. Or I could quit my job and be a SAHP.

But I am saving for retirement in my 401k, and my job also provides our benefits, so even with the nanny we would be getting some financial benefit from my continuing to work.

I’m having a hard time weighing the financial aspect of quitting to SAH vs. hiring a nanny - is there anything else I’m not thinking about?

If money wasn’t an issue at all, I would probably quit and SAH. I want more time with my kids. But I will still be in my 50s when the youngest finished high school to I wonder what I’ll do then.


Nannies do not cost $72k/year in the DC area nor in most areas, it is around 45k/year w/ multiple kids.

You need to adjust your search and you can also save more by doing the following
1) Opt for a live, we have one that is about 38k/year fully legal for 2 kids but we have an entire level she lives in with it's own kitchen, bathroom and living room. You will need to add only another 4k for nanny taxes (yes they tax you).
2) Aupair is about $25k/year with no limit on number of kids, but you'ld need to be prepared for someone new every 1-2 years, but most regular nannies are transient like that anyways.


LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2023 19:56     Subject: All my take home pay would go to the nanny….
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I see a lot of people suggesting hiring different sources but I’m not sure I’d have the mental energy for that. I’d rather interview some qualified Nannie’s that are willing to do household tasks too, but one that I can trust so that it can hopefully be someone that stays with my family for several years.


You are overthinking. If you want to quit, do so. If you want a nanny, go that route, but most nannies do not cook and clean, except for the kids.

I would rather stay in the work force. So with elementary school I go the easiest route:

1. Hire a weekly cleaning company. $125-$150 a week. Go with a company that has the staff and has vetted their employees. Merry Maids, The Cleaning Authority, etc.

2. Use the after school care at your elementary school. They are already set up for days off. Our elementary school uses Bar-T. They are like $600 or so a month.

3. Use a meal order service

Three kids - $1500
Cleaning Service weekly - $600
Hello Fresh/Every Plate meal delivery - $480 (you have to cook, but at least you don't have to think or shop)

$2600 monthly to ease your plate. Still manageable and you keep your career. You do not have to hire, interview, provided benefits, etc.


Yeah, what OP is talking about is not a nanny. It’s a housekeeper who keeps the kids alive.
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2023 19:54     Subject: All my take home pay would go to the nanny….
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I see a lot of people suggesting hiring different sources but I’m not sure I’d have the mental energy for that. I’d rather interview some qualified Nannie’s that are willing to do household tasks too, but one that I can trust so that it can hopefully be someone that stays with my family for several years.


How old are your kids?

If you are paying $6,000/mo for a nanny, that's $1500/week. I am certain that you can find a nanny for cheaper than that because that's an insane childcare bill. Kids are expensive, but there SHOULD be differences in cost for an elementary schooler who just needs aftercare and an infant who needs 3 naps and bottles.


For THREE kids? Yeah, you’re wrong. Do you live in Tulsa, OK or something?
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2023 19:45     Subject: All my take home pay would go to the nanny….
Hello OP,
Some of these suggestions are quite silly and you should ignore them. I have an excellent au pair, three kids, work full time, has a husband who works a ton and make more money than me. I demand that he do more around the house and help with the children when he is not working. I also have high expectations for my children. Even with the au pair, 2 out of 3 children do their own laundry and have been doing so since they were 5 years old. Even with all this, life is busy, stressful and takes a lot of mananging by me. Everyone in your household needs to step up and you also need to throw some money at the problem to get through this phase. Hang on! Try a nanny, try a sitter, try a household manager, try an assistant, try an au pair. Don’t throw in the towel on your career yet.
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2023 19:18     Subject: All my take home pay would go to the nanny….
Well, you just have to evolve your life and make it more simple if you choose to work.

When my kids were elementary or younger, we had "mommy kiddo" time while doing groceries, doing the dishes, watering the plants and folding the laundry. It taught them necessary life skills and we talked about their day and friends.

Now my kids will be starting HS and younger MS. They both have part time summer camps and we both are WFH but back to back meetings. They completely do the dishes, prepare lunch for us. They in fact even cleaned up our pantry (just because they had free time on their hands!). They still see friends every day for 3 hours at their pool and play x-box 4-5 times a week + Tennis + Piano so spending 30-40 mins every day is not a really big deal for them. Plus they chat and catch up while doing the work together. We do have housekeepers to come and clean every two weeks and do a lot of fresh salads, simple lunches like sandwiches. 2-3 times takeouts a week. Some frozen food when we are too tired to cook

Ask your elementary kids to help out with simple tasks.. and outsource quite a lot.

The life that you are imagining with full time household help (Nanny doesn't cut it) is not what middle class families have at least not in US. Move to another country like India.
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2023 18:58     Subject: All my take home pay would go to the nanny….
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You could quit for 3 years, and then return. I say this because if your kids are younger elementary, they'll grow up in those 3 years enough to manage their own snacks, playdates, be trusted at activities without you there (and you'll meet families to carpool).

Otherwise I agree you need a house manager, not a nanny.


What?! Do you have kids?


Lol I feel like even DH is not entirely this self sufficient.
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2023 18:32     Subject: All my take home pay would go to the nanny….
Anonymous wrote:You could quit for 3 years, and then return. I say this because if your kids are younger elementary, they'll grow up in those 3 years enough to manage their own snacks, playdates, be trusted at activities without you there (and you'll meet families to carpool).

Otherwise I agree you need a house manager, not a nanny.


What?! Do you have kids?
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2023 17:42     Subject: All my take home pay would go to the nanny….
You could quit for 3 years, and then return. I say this because if your kids are younger elementary, they'll grow up in those 3 years enough to manage their own snacks, playdates, be trusted at activities without you there (and you'll meet families to carpool).

Otherwise I agree you need a house manager, not a nanny.