I have three boys with a similar age spread, and a spouse who is gone at least half the month when they were young. I never had any outside help, so I always had everyone together for bedtime routines. Usually all three took a bath first, brushed teeth, then older two would either play in their rooms while I put little one to bed, or listen to the book the little one was having read to him. Then older two each got to chose one book, and they both listened to each others books. Then it was lights out and bedtime. I kept the routines relatively short and sweet. It wasn’t always calm of course, but we really kept to this simple routine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Come with a routine that involves everyone. Especially the 4 and 5 year old should be able to be put to bed together. Kids brush their teeth and put pajamas on together. Each one picks one book and you read together. If they interrupt too much, they have to leave the room. Move up the routine earlier and let them read with a nightlight in bed for a while. If you are regularly doing bedtime by yourself, make it easier.

The 4 and 5 year old are just so far apart in understanding and interests to combine. The 5 (almost 6yo) is one of those genius nerdy kids that wants the late elementary national geographic books (i don't say that in a braggy way) where i'm googling explanations of physics topics to answer his questions and the 4yo wants short stories about trucks (he has many many wonderful things too...just very very different from the 5yo). I do occasionally combine them when needed and we end up reading a Bernstein bears type book that is fine but not particularly right for either of them for their only time being read to each day.

But yes I could knock out some of the routine all at the same time so there's less time they each need to be occupied separately

You don’t do all of that at bedtime! Switch to a book that both kids could enjoy. Older brother could even read to younger brother. Heck, older brother could read to all three. Then you kiss the 4 and 5 year olds good night while 2 year old is contained in a safe space. Limit yourself to 5-10 minutes total. Then do the 2 year old.

Save the lengthy, special reading for during the day.

Anonymous wrote:All of you make this way too hard. Just put them to bed.

This. It sounds like people are willing to make a circus out of bed time, and the kids eat it right up.

All of you make this way too hard. Just put them to bed.

Your almost 6yr old can read to the 2 yr old while you tend to the 4yr old.

Hire a temp. night nanny.

Everyone puts on PJs and brushes teeth together. Everyone lays down on your bed and goes to sleep. Move them to other beds after they’re asleep if you want to.
When I was a kid and my dad had to work late, my mom gave my siblings and I a blanket and a pillow and told us to find a spot on the living room floor. We’d fall asleep there, and move to our beds later. It wasn’t every night, so no big deal.

Didn't read all the replies, but I have two kids two years apart and often have to put them to bed solo in the evenings while my husband is traveling for work.
It is helpful to get them on the same rough routine/ bedtime and keep it as simple as possible.

At 2 & 4 their routine was: Dinner together, bath together, one kid dresses in pajamas while the other has his teeth brushed, and then switch. They take turns choosing a book. Read 20 mins, hugs/ kisses and goodnights, and everyone goes to bed at the same time.

Now at 7 & 9 their routine is: They each shower before dinner, we eat dinner together, then spend some time reading solo or playing games or adults reading aloud. 15 minutes before the desired bedtime each kid brushes their own teeth, changes into pajamas, hugs/ kisses and goodnights, and then in bed for the night.