Op here, I only posted the op so the comments about ncs were not me. I'm nowhere near the DC or NY area (as stated in op) but these comments were helpful. I would be as one poster put it "a Joe Schmo" 3-400k donor (at 100k/yr to make it even less impressive) and as others stated I'm sure there are donors giving much more but most families likely don't as I noticed their donor circles didn't seem to go too high. It just doesn't look that hopeful as there are just a few spots and many applicants. I thought just maybe there was something we could do and I didn't know how much donations influence decisions, if at all. This doesn't seem like a school that needs to go that route, especially for somethings many others could offer. I'm glad I didn't embarrass myself by hinting at the prospect.

Contact somone you know on the board and say you want to make a contribution. Ted Leonsis did this with Potomac School and both of his kids then attended. It's done all the time

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The school will probably love it and it is gross. Can you live with yourself? Only you can decide.

It’s gross that these schools give preference to certain kids based on their race. Hopefully, that will be illegal given the recent Supreme Court decision on affirmative action in colleges.

What is your evidence of this?

Anonymous wrote:The school will probably love it and it is gross. Can you live with yourself? Only you can decide.

It’s gross that these schools give preference to certain kids based on their race. Hopefully, that will be illegal given the recent Supreme Court decision on affirmative action in colleges.

We donated 227K to Sidewell in 2014 and it did get our daughter in. Super thrilled because it allowed us to make her miserable.

What do posters think is the primary duty of a school president ? (Not limited to prep schools.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, OP. People buy their kids’/grandkids’ seats all the time. Make sure you mention to the “development” folks that you are a prospective parent. Very excited and hoping little Larlo has a chance for admission next year. Know it’s so very competitive but really hoping and wishing he gets a chance.

Big smiles!!

Only if they have been affiliated with the school. And been giving for years. Not one big donation right before admissions. OP would be seen as giving a bribe.

Bribing *whom*?

Am I bribing Doordash to deliver Chow mein?

Paying the company that sells the service isn't a bribe; it's a bid.

+1 I went to a private school on an academic scholarship (and I wouldn’t have been attending without it for sure!) and I always understood that the school was a business and they accepted students that would improve their business. Sometimes that was kids like me to boost their standardized tests scores/college admissions results, and sometimes that was kids like the children of minor Saudi royalty whose parents paid for the new fitness center. If it’s bribery, I’m glad my classmates parents bribed their way in to pay for my robotics club and high quality music lessons.

Well said. I agree with your thoughts.

Anonymous wrote:I know a family who didn't make it initially then offered to pay double tuition every year going forward. Created a fully paid scholarship slot. Accepted. I know another family, annual "ask" of them was 250k on top of tuition. I doubt those examples even begin to touch folks with truly deep generational wealth, owners of large companies - there's always someone with more than most of us could really understand. One might ask what kind of donations year in and year out are typical for the top board members - to start gently a serious conversation.

I find this difficult to believe that it was structured in this manner.

I know a family who didn't make it initially then offered to pay double tuition every year going forward. Created a fully paid scholarship slot. Accepted. I know another family, annual "ask" of them was 250k on top of tuition. I doubt those examples even begin to touch folks with truly deep generational wealth, owners of large companies - there's always someone with more than most of us could really understand. One might ask what kind of donations year in and year out are typical for the top board members - to start gently a serious conversation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the main issue I see is that while 200-250K is a big donation, it’s actually not enough money to achieve what OP wants it to.

We donated a similar amount to a similar but less prestigious school by dcum standards (and we did so after our kid had attended for four years). We certainly got a letter from the head of school and a big “thanks” but no one is kissing our butts. Turns out we’re one of many families who donate that much regularly.

(And btw, I’m actually glad we don’t get special treatment for our donation, and presume that means others don’t either)

+1 hedge fund managers and big law partners being able to spend 300k are dime a dozen. Yet private school is still competitive. If it was easy enough to write a check more people will do it.

No, most people with the money don't think to do this or wouldn't do this. I mean, come on. Who is actually going to stoop this low for elementary/high school? Not many people.
Plus most of these schools aren't that hard to get into to begin with (I'm someone who went through the admissions process 3 times with kids from public and got a kid into at least one Big3 school each admissions season we tried).

So your kids aren’t that bright after all?

They're smart enough but nothing crazy.

For example, I got one into NCS for 7th, another into STA for 9th (NCS sibling probably helped) but also into Sidwell and Potomac for 9th (completely unhooked).

In the anonymity of DCUM I'm happy to be forthright about this. Posters on DCUM routinely post that it's almost impossible to get spots in these schools but this simply was your experience (and we are white nobodies coming from public).

Oops. Previous poster again. What I meant to type was "this was simply NOT our experience and we are white nobodies coming from public"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the main issue I see is that while 200-250K is a big donation, it’s actually not enough money to achieve what OP wants it to.

We donated a similar amount to a similar but less prestigious school by dcum standards (and we did so after our kid had attended for four years). We certainly got a letter from the head of school and a big “thanks” but no one is kissing our butts. Turns out we’re one of many families who donate that much regularly.

(And btw, I’m actually glad we don’t get special treatment for our donation, and presume that means others don’t either)

+1 hedge fund managers and big law partners being able to spend 300k are dime a dozen. Yet private school is still competitive. If it was easy enough to write a check more people will do it.

No, most people with the money don't think to do this or wouldn't do this. I mean, come on. Who is actually going to stoop this low for elementary/high school? Not many people.
Plus most of these schools aren't that hard to get into to begin with (I'm someone who went through the admissions process 3 times with kids from public and got a kid into at least one Big3 school each admissions season we tried).

So your kids aren’t that bright after all?

They're smart enough but nothing crazy.

For example, I got one into NCS for 7th, another into STA for 9th (NCS sibling probably helped) but also into Sidwell and Potomac for 9th (completely unhooked).

In the anonymity of DCUM I'm happy to be forthright about this. Posters on DCUM routinely post that it's almost impossible to get spots in these schools but this simply was your experience (and we are white nobodies coming from public).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please offer your big donation OP. I hope you get whiplash so fast when you are immediately rejected from NCS.

Lol. You are naive if you think doesn't happen, even at NCS, I know someone who bought their way into NCS. Their kid was rejected on the first attempt and then the family met with the development office prior to attempt two.
(Pretty stupid IMO to do this at a school like NCS which is only a good fit for a small cohort of girls but it definitely happened and probably happens (plural))

+1

Anonymous wrote:I think the main issue I see is that while 200-250K is a big donation, it’s actually not enough money to achieve what OP wants it to.

We donated a similar amount to a similar but less prestigious school by dcum standards (and we did so after our kid had attended for four years). We certainly got a letter from the head of school and a big “thanks” but no one is kissing our butts. Turns out we’re one of many families who donate that much regularly.

(And btw, I’m actually glad we don’t get special treatment for our donation, and presume that means others don’t either)

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the main issue I see is that while 200-250K is a big donation, it’s actually not enough money to achieve what OP wants it to.

We donated a similar amount to a similar but less prestigious school by dcum standards (and we did so after our kid had attended for four years). We certainly got a letter from the head of school and a big “thanks” but no one is kissing our butts. Turns out we’re one of many families who donate that much regularly.

(And btw, I’m actually glad we don’t get special treatment for our donation, and presume that means others don’t either)

+1 hedge fund managers and big law partners being able to spend 300k are dime a dozen. Yet private school is still competitive. If it was easy enough to write a check more people will do it.

No, most people with the money don't think to do this or wouldn't do this. I mean, come on. Who is actually going to stoop this low for elementary/high school? Not many people.
Plus most of these schools aren't that hard to get into to begin with (I'm someone who went through the admissions process 3 times with kids from public and got a kid into at least one Big3 school each admissions season we tried).

Plenty of people would stoop this low to get into the private elementary/high school of their choice. OP being one of them. There was even a book on how competitive admissions is, I think it was kindergarten wars.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the main issue I see is that while 200-250K is a big donation, it’s actually not enough money to achieve what OP wants it to.

We donated a similar amount to a similar but less prestigious school by dcum standards (and we did so after our kid had attended for four years). We certainly got a letter from the head of school and a big “thanks” but no one is kissing our butts. Turns out we’re one of many families who donate that much regularly.

(And btw, I’m actually glad we don’t get special treatment for our donation, and presume that means others don’t either)

+1 hedge fund managers and big law partners being able to spend 300k are dime a dozen. Yet private school is still competitive. If it was easy enough to write a check more people will do it.

No, most people with the money don't think to do this or wouldn't do this. I mean, come on. Who is actually going to stoop this low for elementary/high school? Not many people.
Plus most of these schools aren't that hard to get into to begin with (I'm someone who went through the admissions process 3 times with kids from public and got a kid into at least one Big3 school each admissions season we tried).

So your kids aren’t that bright after all?