Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What is there to coordinate, though? Marriage therapy uses a different muscle, and has a different focus, than individual therapy. I wouldn’t necessarily think to have a marriage counselor consult with my individual therapist. I imagine you have specific circumstances that makes it more of a necessity?
Interdisciplinary healthcare is standard of practice. I don’t even consider couples therapy and individual therapy different disciplines, so this example is even more egregious; imagine if, say, someone’s PCP refused to talk to their ophthalmologist because it’s their “policy.” This situation is no different. As a therapist (I’m the psychologist PP), you’re darn right I want information from other healthcare professionals treating my patients, if there’s consent. It only improves my care - I’m one person and I only see this person in one context. When I worked inpatient, we had interdisciplinary rounds daily and at every single one of those, someone in one discipline, e.g., occupational therapy, shared information that a healthcare provider in a different discipline, e.g., psychiatry, hadn’t known about the patient and which was *relevant to their care*. Refusing to talk to any other healthcare professionals about anything is unethical care.
DP, not the OP, but: Thank you for posting here and pointing out the importance of healthcare professionals actually communicating with each other! I think some PPs are agitated about some idea of "a therapist must never tell the spouse/another therapist anything, ever" but they are not seeing therapy as healthcare in the way you can. It really is not uncommon for this type of sharing to take place, despite what some PPs insist. Sadly for OP and the marriage, it sounds as if the DH and his therapist are going to be a united front against any sharing.
Anonymous wrote:There's a big disconnect here.
OP is saying that DH signed a consent form authorizing his therapist to speak to the marriage therapist. She's also saying DH's therapist has a policy of not speaking to other therapists and made that clear from the beginning of therapy. If that's her policy, why would she have a consent form for DH to sign? If she doesn't confer, she wouldn't need a consent form. Either DH is lying about giving written consent or the therapist is lying about never conferring.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:As a betrayed wife- I needed the truth. I needed to know what is being said in confidence isn’t totally different than what is being said to me individually or in therapy together.
Betrayed spouses have already suffered a grave loss of trust. They have been back-stabbed and blind-sided. I couldn’t trust after discovery anything out if his mouth. I’m supposed to take a liar’s word? In our case, there was also a mental health diagnosis and I needed facts and what that meant for potential relapse, recovery, etc.
His individual therapist actually requested to meet with me individually for essentially the same reason. From the DSm test- we were dealing with someone high on the narcissism spectrum, with a lot of childhood trauma.
I NEEDEd that information.
Frankly I’m pissed off therapists don’t have a duty to inform people when they know their health is at risk: from infidelity/cheating. Instead they will listen for months on end to a woman or man exhibiting risky behavior that is a threat to their spouse’s physical health- not to mention safety.
Ok, you understand that the therapist does not have a duty to you, but his patient?
Anonymous wrote:There's a big disconnect here.
OP is saying that DH signed a consent form authorizing his therapist to speak to the marriage therapist. She's also saying DH's therapist has a policy of not speaking to other therapists and made that clear from the beginning of therapy. If that's her policy, why would she have a consent form for DH to sign? If she doesn't confer, she wouldn't need a consent form. Either DH is lying about giving written consent or the therapist is lying about never conferring.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What is there to coordinate, though? Marriage therapy uses a different muscle, and has a different focus, than individual therapy. I wouldn’t necessarily think to have a marriage counselor consult with my individual therapist. I imagine you have specific circumstances that makes it more of a necessity?
Interdisciplinary healthcare is standard of practice. I don’t even consider couples therapy and individual therapy different disciplines, so this example is even more egregious; imagine if, say, someone’s PCP refused to talk to their ophthalmologist because it’s their “policy.” This situation is no different. As a therapist (I’m the psychologist PP), you’re darn right I want information from other healthcare professionals treating my patients, if there’s consent. It only improves my care - I’m one person and I only see this person in one context. When I worked inpatient, we had interdisciplinary rounds daily and at every single one of those, someone in one discipline, e.g., occupational therapy, shared information that a healthcare provider in a different discipline, e.g., psychiatry, hadn’t known about the patient and which was *relevant to their care*. Refusing to talk to any other healthcare professionals about anything is unethical care.
DP, not the OP, but: Thank you for posting here and pointing out the importance of healthcare professionals actually communicating with each other! I think some PPs are agitated about some idea of "a therapist must never tell the spouse/another therapist anything, ever" but they are not seeing therapy as healthcare in the way you can. It really is not uncommon for this type of sharing to take place, despite what some PPs insist. Sadly for OP and the marriage, it sounds as if the DH and his therapist are going to be a united front against any sharing.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Your husband has to consent to it. And can. I’m completely sure she has a release of information that she’d accept if her client signed it (client meaning your husband). So blame your husband, he can give consent if he wants to.
He did consent.
DP - your husband signed consent to disclose to the couples therapist (i.e., he wants them to talk) and his individual therapist is refusing?
I’d fire her and possibly report her to the licensing board. That’s unethical.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What is there to coordinate, though? Marriage therapy uses a different muscle, and has a different focus, than individual therapy. I wouldn’t necessarily think to have a marriage counselor consult with my individual therapist. I imagine you have specific circumstances that makes it more of a necessity?
Interdisciplinary healthcare is standard of practice. I don’t even consider couples therapy and individual therapy different disciplines, so this example is even more egregious; imagine if, say, someone’s PCP refused to talk to their ophthalmologist because it’s their “policy.” This situation is no different. As a therapist (I’m the psychologist PP), you’re darn right I want information from other healthcare professionals treating my patients, if there’s consent. It only improves my care - I’m one person and I only see this person in one context. When I worked inpatient, we had interdisciplinary rounds daily and at every single one of those, someone in one discipline, e.g., occupational therapy, shared information that a healthcare provider in a different discipline, e.g., psychiatry, hadn’t known about the patient and which was *relevant to their care*. Refusing to talk to any other healthcare professionals about anything is unethical care.
DP, not the OP, but: Thank you for posting here and pointing out the importance of healthcare professionals actually communicating with each other! I think some PPs are agitated about some idea of "a therapist must never tell the spouse/another therapist anything, ever" but they are not seeing therapy as healthcare in the way you can. It really is not uncommon for this type of sharing to take place, despite what some PPs insist. Sadly for OP and the marriage, it sounds as if the DH and his therapist are going to be a united front against any sharing.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:As a betrayed wife- I needed the truth. I needed to know what is being said in confidence isn’t totally different than what is being said to me individually or in therapy together.
Betrayed spouses have already suffered a grave loss of trust. They have been back-stabbed and blind-sided. I couldn’t trust after discovery anything out if his mouth. I’m supposed to take a liar’s word? In our case, there was also a mental health diagnosis and I needed facts and what that meant for potential relapse, recovery, etc.
His individual therapist actually requested to meet with me individually for essentially the same reason. From the DSm test- we were dealing with someone high on the narcissism spectrum, with a lot of childhood trauma.
I NEEDEd that information.
Frankly I’m pissed off therapists don’t have a duty to inform people when they know their health is at risk: from infidelity/cheating. Instead they will listen for months on end to a woman or man exhibiting risky behavior that is a threat to their spouse’s physical health- not to mention safety.
You made the choice to work things out with soneone who betrayed you. Your feelings and relationship meant nothing to him. That's all you need to know. Your choice, but in your position, I'd work in therapy to figure out why I wanted to stay with someone who betrayed me, violated my trust and traumatized me.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What is there to coordinate, though? Marriage therapy uses a different muscle, and has a different focus, than individual therapy. I wouldn’t necessarily think to have a marriage counselor consult with my individual therapist. I imagine you have specific circumstances that makes it more of a necessity?
Interdisciplinary healthcare is standard of practice. I don’t even consider couples therapy and individual therapy different disciplines, so this example is even more egregious; imagine if, say, someone’s PCP refused to talk to their ophthalmologist because it’s their “policy.” This situation is no different. As a therapist (I’m the psychologist PP), you’re darn right I want information from other healthcare professionals treating my patients, if there’s consent. It only improves my care - I’m one person and I only see this person in one context. When I worked inpatient, we had interdisciplinary rounds daily and at every single one of those, someone in one discipline, e.g., occupational therapy, shared information that a healthcare provider in a different discipline, e.g., psychiatry, hadn’t known about the patient and which was *relevant to their care*. Refusing to talk to any other healthcare professionals about anything is unethical care.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes he signed a release.
He did it for show. He doesn't want his therapist talking to the joint therapist. His therapist is being the "bad guy" by refusing, but is doing so at your dh's request.
If the therapist says it's her policy not to speak to other therapists, but that's not actually her policy and she is covering for a client, that would be dishonest and wrong.
Anonymous wrote:What is there to coordinate, though? Marriage therapy uses a different muscle, and has a different focus, than individual therapy. I wouldn’t necessarily think to have a marriage counselor consult with my individual therapist. I imagine you have specific circumstances that makes it more of a necessity?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes he signed a release.
He did it for show. He doesn't want his therapist talking to the joint therapist. His therapist is being the "bad guy" by refusing, but is doing so at your dh's request.
If the therapist says it's her policy not to speak to other therapists, but that's not actually her policy and she is covering for a client, that would be dishonest and wrong.