Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two things:

- some athleta dress or other type of athletic dress
- some bomb sunglasses 😎
- a giant Smile when you say, “oh it’s so great to see you here, I hope (insert child’s name) fits in. Kids can be weird about crooked teeth. See you next week!”

I realize that is evil as hell but someone needs to give this woman a taste of her own medicine!

To be clear I meant you reference HER child.

Your rec is for her to insult a child to make her feel better about herself? WTF????

I do feel you OP! I would totally do the same and I’m sorry this happened to you. I was bullied a lot in elementary school and it’s something that stays with you forever. I like the idea of a cute and casual summer dress. I just ordered two dresses from talbots today. I didn’t know your taste, but I think they have some that are cute and stylish without looking like you are trying to hard. I would stick with the simpler patterns or solids as those tend to look more put together/chic (and talbots can go a little crazy with their patterns and it makes their clothes TOO recognizable.) If you can’t find a dress that you like, consider a midi skirt and top. That would also be super cute and simple. I would also do a simple flat sandal in a black, tan, or neutral hue. Don’t get a Fanny pack. They generally look awful and rarely can one pull them off. Stick with what makes you feel comfortable. If it’s a tote, then wear a tote. I’m thinking about something like Eric Javit’s My Way Jr. hand bag or Jenn Lee’s The Cabo Tote. Keep you makeup simple and light. A touch of shimmer eyeshadow, mascara, blush, gloss. Maybe a little eye liner and bronzer if that works for you. Make sure your toes are painted. Jewelry: keep it simple with a nice gold or silver necklace or a summery statement necklace. Earrings if you want. Above all take deep breaths and just remember, she can’t possibly lead a happy life being such an unkind person.

https://www.everlane.com/products/womens-organic-cotton-weekend-tank-dress-black

https://www.madewell.com/cutaway-tank-mini-dress-NL448.html?dwvar_NL448_color=BL5131&dwvar_NL448_size=M&cgid=apparel-dress#start=0

https://tnuck.com/products/white-mini-carolina-caftan

https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/pilcro-denim-utility-shirt-dress?category=dresses-casual-everyday&color=091&type=STANDARD&quantity=1

https://www.cuyana.com/clothing/gathered-front-jumpsuit/20021851.html?dwvar_20021851_color=black&quantity=1

I’m rooting for you, OP! While I can’t help with fashion advice because I am not very fashionable, I fully support this mission

Anonymous wrote:I really think you shouldn’t buy or do anything different. I know you’re asking for advice about what to wear. But you will never be able to buy anything fashionable enough or nice enough to make yourself feel confident if this person’s comments are living in your head.

If you were going to do anything different I would say to wear something outlandish and inappropriate, something that seems to invite criticism or catty remarks, something that is hilarious and that you love—an insane hat, a crazy T-shirt, pajamas, whatever—and wear it gleefully and with great happiness and greet your kid and the other kids and staffers with great joy.

This is OP and while I see what you are getting at, I don't have anywhere near the confidence to pull that off.

It is easier for me to find decent outfit and make sure my hair looks nice, than to change my entire personality and mental state.

I really think you shouldn’t buy or do anything different. I know you’re asking for advice about what to wear. But you will never be able to buy anything fashionable enough or nice enough to make yourself feel confident if this person’s comments are living in your head.

If you were going to do anything different I would say to wear something outlandish and inappropriate, something that seems to invite criticism or catty remarks, something that is hilarious and that you love—an insane hat, a crazy T-shirt, pajamas, whatever—and wear it gleefully and with great happiness and greet your kid and the other kids and staffers with great joy.

Anonymous wrote:This isn't about impressing the bully, guys. It's about feeling really good about herself *so that she can forget about how she looks* and just deal with what is in front of her.

That's what good grooming and attractive, flattering clothing can do for you. It feels in the cracks of insecurity and serves as a sort of armor -- you aren't crossing your arms to shrink in and hide your breasts, or standing in a way that your butt or your scraped shoes aren't visible.

When you really believe you look good, you can forget about it. Then you can focus on dealing with the emotional situation without being distracted. Sometimes you just need your armor.

I totally agree with this. OP, dress so that you feel great, whatever that is. She’ll never acknowledge how good you look because she sounds like she sucks. I think there are some really great suggestions in this thread (I’m partial to linen and simple, beautiful sandals myself as long as your trip isn’t too long and the linen will stay sharp). But dress for yourself — it’s the best armor as the PP puts it. Good luck and just remember that she sounds TERRIBLE.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't put any energy into trying to impress this toxic person

+1

Focus on affirming yourself, either through journaling, affirmations, or talking to a supportive friend.

People like this can pick you apart even if you look perfect.

+1

And they will - you won't win, OP. Just ignore her.

This

I’d just wear what I normally wear, although I’d avoid anything too frumpy, ill-fitting, or old/worn, but make sure to wear makeup - a full face first thing in the morning seems a little try-hard but foundation, concealer, blush, brows, just enough to make you look awake and refreshed, your best version of yourself. And get a fresh hair cut/trim and color. If you really want to buy a few new items I like the suggestion of athletic dresses from LLL or similar.

Anonymous wrote:Two things:

- some athleta dress or other type of athletic dress
- some bomb sunglasses 😎
- a giant Smile when you say, “oh it’s so great to see you here, I hope (insert child’s name) fits in. Kids can be weird about crooked teeth. See you next week!”

I realize that is evil as hell but someone needs to give this woman a taste of her own medicine!

To be clear I meant you reference HER child.

Two things:

- some athleta dress or other type of athletic dress
- some bomb sunglasses 😎
- a giant Smile when you say, “oh it’s so great to see you here, I hope (insert child’s name) fits in. Kids can be weird about crooked teeth. See you next week!”

I realize that is evil as hell but someone needs to give this woman a taste of her own medicine!

For the long term, get invisilign. I can't tell you how demoralizing crooked teeth are and it is such a gift to have straight teeth. Plus it's better for health and hygiene.