Anonymous wrote:I kept my name and gave DD mine as her middle. She likes having both and it’s never been a problem (we’re in DC and about half of kids have this set up or both last names as their last).

+1 I like having my last name as part of the kids' names and they both like it too. It's pretty common among our friends etc.

To be fair, if you are trying to be a feminist, keeping your father's name or your husband's name make no sense, you should take your mother's first name.

In my case, keeping my birth name secret isn't about feminism, its just who I'm used to since childhood, all my friends and colleagues and government knows me by, its what makes my head turn when i hear it and see no reason to change that.

Women trying to berate other women are never feminists, just narcissists. Being SAHM doesn't strip you of your rights to keep your name, neither does hiring other people so you can do something you prefer more. Both require work, somehow both get paid, both get advantages and disadvantages. To each their own.

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Anonymous wrote:Change my last name and gave the family last name to the kids. I honestly think it’s petulant and trying too hard to do anything else. Flame away.

Huh. Not sure how it's "trying too hard" to NOT change your name. Really, it's the least possible effort, since you do...nothing.

Way to be dense. That's not what "trying too hard" means. The worst are the SAHM's who don't change their name. Too feminist to take their husband's name but not too feminist to be fully financially supported by him. Huge eyeroll.

NP. I love women like you who sit around stewing about other women keeping their names. It’s really, really funny.

Me too! Any woman who gets mad about SAHMs keeping their own names needs therapy to unpack her own issues.

Anonymous wrote:Its really not that hard to change your name. Show your marriage certificate at the SS office. Then take everything to the DMV. Done.

And then take everything to the bank(s). And passport office. And update a dozen credit cards, subscriptions, professional memberships and licenses, your office email and login... I did it, but let's not pretend it's a two step process. Some of my credit cards are still wrong.

And that's only for a woman getting married. If you are a man, or a woman changing your name in some other circumstance, you usually need a court order.

We hyphenated, but only because we inherited an estate that had no male heirs.

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Anonymous wrote:Change my last name and gave the family last name to the kids. I honestly think it’s petulant and trying too hard to do anything else. Flame away.

Huh. Not sure how it's "trying too hard" to NOT change your name. Really, it's the least possible effort, since you do...nothing.

Way to be dense. That's not what "trying too hard" means. The worst are the SAHM's who don't change their name. Too feminist to take their husband's name but not too feminist to be fully financially supported by him. Huge eyeroll.

NP. I love women like you who sit around stewing about other women keeping their names. It’s really, really funny.

Right? Especially when the PP is also making herself the arbiter of what is feminist or not. Truly zero self-awareness.

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Anonymous wrote:Change my last name and gave the family last name to the kids. I honestly think it’s petulant and trying too hard to do anything else. Flame away.

Huh. Not sure how it's "trying too hard" to NOT change your name. Really, it's the least possible effort, since you do...nothing.

Way to be dense. That's not what "trying too hard" means. The worst are the SAHM's who don't change their name. Too feminist to take their husband's name but not too feminist to be fully financially supported by him. Huge eyeroll.

They are so feminist that they make choices about their own lives without consulting you first. Sounds pretty feminist to me!

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Change my last name and gave the family last name to the kids. I honestly think it’s petulant and trying too hard to do anything else. Flame away.

Huh. Not sure how it's "trying too hard" to NOT change your name. Really, it's the least possible effort, since you do...nothing.

Way to be dense. That's not what "trying too hard" means. The worst are the SAHM's who don't change their name. Too feminist to take their husband's name but not too feminist to be fully financially supported by him. Huge eyeroll.

NP. I love women like you who sit around stewing about other women keeping their names. It’s really, really funny.

Anonymous wrote:I kept mine and gave my kids my DH’s, because this is the laziest option with regard to paperwork.

Same. My kids have my last name as their middle name.

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Anonymous wrote:Change my last name and gave the family last name to the kids. I honestly think it’s petulant and trying too hard to do anything else. Flame away.

Huh. Not sure how it's "trying too hard" to NOT change your name. Really, it's the least possible effort, since you do...nothing.

Way to be dense. That's not what "trying too hard" means. The worst are the SAHM's who don't change their name. Too feminist to take their husband's name but not too feminist to be fully financially supported by him. Huge eyeroll.

I'm a sahm with my own last name and your jealousy is both flattering and amusing. PP is right, it is so easy to do because you literally do nothing!

I am a SAHM too. Are you saying your reason for not changing your name is laziness?

My husband comes from a culture where people do not change their last names. My mother never changed hers, as a sahm no less! There was literally cultural pressure to change the name I was given at birth, so why would I?

Do enjoy all the mad for life workaholic women who changed their names, but wish they hadn't, and now act like keeping your name is a privilege that is only earned by working outside the home. LOL stay mad b1tchezz.

Its really not that hard to change your name. Show your marriage certificate at the SS office. Then take everything to the DMV. Done.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Change my last name and gave the family last name to the kids. I honestly think it’s petulant and trying too hard to do anything else. Flame away.

Huh. Not sure how it's "trying too hard" to NOT change your name. Really, it's the least possible effort, since you do...nothing.

Way to be dense. That's not what "trying too hard" means. The worst are the SAHM's who don't change their name. Too feminist to take their husband's name but not too feminist to be fully financially supported by him. Huge eyeroll.

Interesting take on what kind of work deserves financial support. So while men are at work it's ok for them to pay strangers to care for their children, but if their wife, the child's mother, does it, somehow she's gaming the system? Fascinating.

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Anonymous wrote:Change my last name and gave the family last name to the kids. I honestly think it’s petulant and trying too hard to do anything else. Flame away.

Huh. Not sure how it's "trying too hard" to NOT change your name. Really, it's the least possible effort, since you do...nothing.

Way to be dense. That's not what "trying too hard" means. The worst are the SAHM's who don't change their name. Too feminist to take their husband's name but not too feminist to be fully financially supported by him. Huge eyeroll.

I'm a sahm with my own last name and your jealousy is both flattering and amusing. PP is right, it is so easy to do because you literally do nothing!

I am a SAHM too. Are you saying your reason for not changing your name is laziness?

I am also a SAHM who did not change her name because I didn't want to deal with the paperwork. So, I guess that is lazy? We also gave both kids my last name as a middle name because then we only had to think of one other name we liked (my last name is too awful to be a first name). Seems DH is lazy, too.

I do feel a little guilty because now both kids are saddled with a terrible middle name, so I told them both they could change it if they want. Oldest DS opted to have just his middle initial put on his diploma. (Lazy? You be the judge).

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Change my last name and gave the family last name to the kids. I honestly think it’s petulant and trying too hard to do anything else. Flame away.

Huh. Not sure how it's "trying too hard" to NOT change your name. Really, it's the least possible effort, since you do...nothing.

Way to be dense. That's not what "trying too hard" means. The worst are the SAHM's who don't change their name. Too feminist to take their husband's name but not too feminist to be fully financially supported by him. Huge eyeroll.

I'm a sahm with my own last name and your jealousy is both flattering and amusing. PP is right, it is so easy to do because you literally do nothing!

I am a SAHM too. Are you saying your reason for not changing your name is laziness?