Anonymous
Post 07/04/2023 09:43     Subject: Dads at the playground
DH does 50% of everything. That was the deal before we had kids. Ok, I probably do a bit more of the kid shopping (because I want to) and he probably does a bit more of the gardening and teaching them to ride bikes and stuff (because he wants to). The stuff no one wants to do, i.e., clean, we outsource. We both work and earn about the same. We have a schedule so we can both get time to ourselves and exercise. It works for us. It’s called modern parenting. I don’t think we are alone. . . maybe we’re alone in the full-on spreadsheet detailing everything, but definitely not in the division of household labor. I’m actually surprised when I meet couples in their 30s who still follow the traditional model. There is maybe like 1 family in my 6 year old’s first grade class where the mom takes the lion’s share of the kid stuff. The dad is still very involved too - I think this was what they both wanted, so it works for them.
Anonymous
Post 07/04/2023 09:27     Subject: Re:Dads at the playground
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kids are 8 and 6. I see more and more involved dads as time goes on. I still mostly see moms. But it does seem like the percentage of dads taking their kids places is increasing. I think it’s a combination of more parents remote working/being home more and more moms having more demanding careers and also a lot of divorced or never married parents who take turns w custody. But I also think people in general tend to notice more when a dad is out with kids than when a mom is. You don’t see all the moms because you’re on the lookout for dads.

It also has to do w when you go. In the evenings and weekends? A lot of dads tend to be out w kids. During the weekdays, it’s typically more moms and grandparents and other caregivers.

But don’t base involvement over who takes kids to the playground only. Who takes kids to the Dr? Who is volunteering at school? Who is attending PTA meetings? Who is the one who sends you their bday party invite or RSVPs to your kid’s party? Who do you contact to schedule play dates? In my experience all those things I just listed are 99/100 moms/female caregivers.


Stupid take


Um no, Dad, it’s the reality. Try taking all that on. You wouldn’t survive for a second.


Yeah, and you're in Fantasyland.
Anonymous
Post 07/04/2023 09:21     Subject: Dads at the playground
Anonymous wrote:I’m gonna start a post called “Moms at the playground, and in the Kitchen, and the bath, and at bedtime, and at school functions, and the pediatrician, and at sports events, and at play dates, and at the grocery store, and with sick kids at home, and at her full time job…. “ But cool, you’re awesome for going to the playground for an hour once a week,


It’s so strange when people project their personal shit here and behave like they think they’re reflecting the norm instead of recognizing that they’re the exception.
Anonymous
Post 07/04/2023 07:38     Subject: Dads at the playground
The majority of parents I see at school pick up are dads now (maybe more working from home due to covid) and I would say extracurriculars during the week and on weekend are at least 50% dads. The park near us also has a lot of dads on evenings and weekends.

Based on what I see and my own personal experience in life with family, friends and colleagues, dads are pretty involved now in childcare, especially in dual working / income families. I also hear more about dads cooking and doing laundry - those seem to have become more dad tasks too.

One of my brothers does 90% of all things child related and so he sees and has gotten to know a lot of dads in his area.
Anonymous
Post 07/04/2023 07:33     Subject: Dads at the playground
Yes I am a Dad of a kindergardener and all the school activities and events have been well attended by dads. Aft first I was a little shy, and small talks were really hard. But now I have grown to appreciate the experience and my dad role. It's easier for me to talk to other dads now, but I still sense that other dads (especially younger ones) are still alittle reserve.
Anonymous
Post 07/04/2023 01:27     Subject: Dads at the playground
It's nice to see dad's being involved in their kid's life
Anonymous
Post 07/01/2023 10:59     Subject: Dads at the playground
Anonymous wrote:I am father of a 3 yr old and and my wife is expecting again. It just occured to me that I am seeing a lot more fathers at the playground and other kids events. I took my kid to a random park and it was mostly fathers for example. Not a bad thing really. I thought fathers traditionally are not as involved as mothers were. Are times changing? Or is this area specific? Or is this a fluke and there is some selection bias involved? What are your experiences?


Welcome to 2023! You must be astounded at the changes since you went into your coma in 2000.
Anonymous
Post 07/01/2023 10:30     Subject: Dads at the playground
My kids are 21 and 18. I think my exDH took the 21-year-old to the playground once. Maaaaaybe another time when the baby came along, but if he did it was probably with his parents or something. And that is one of the many many reasons I left him. I did 90% of the parenting, 80% of the household stuff, and still worked. I still might have stayed if I ever got a present, flowers, a hug, or sex after we conceived #2. On the plus side, he's really stepped up now that we're divorced and the kids are almost grown.
Anonymous
Post 07/01/2023 08:06     Subject: Dads at the playground
My husband primarily takes our kids to the park. That was our compromise when he did not want to build a play structure in the backyard.... He said the exercise would be great and he would love to go take them so that's what he does. I mean, unless you are a father in 1990, I don't understand how you are not seeing men at these events and you're just waking up to it now
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 23:42     Subject: Dads at the playground
I’m gonna start a post called “Moms at the playground, and in the Kitchen, and the bath, and at bedtime, and at school functions, and the pediatrician, and at sports events, and at play dates, and at the grocery store, and with sick kids at home, and at her full time job…. “ But cool, you’re awesome for going to the playground for an hour once a week,
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 23:36     Subject: Re:Dads at the playground
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kids are 8 and 6. I see more and more involved dads as time goes on. I still mostly see moms. But it does seem like the percentage of dads taking their kids places is increasing. I think it’s a combination of more parents remote working/being home more and more moms having more demanding careers and also a lot of divorced or never married parents who take turns w custody. But I also think people in general tend to notice more when a dad is out with kids than when a mom is. You don’t see all the moms because you’re on the lookout for dads.

It also has to do w when you go. In the evenings and weekends? A lot of dads tend to be out w kids. During the weekdays, it’s typically more moms and grandparents and other caregivers.

But don’t base involvement over who takes kids to the playground only. Who takes kids to the Dr? Who is volunteering at school? Who is attending PTA meetings? Who is the one who sends you their bday party invite or RSVPs to your kid’s party? Who do you contact to schedule play dates? In my experience all those things I just listed are 99/100 moms/female caregivers.


Stupid take


Um no, Dad, it’s the reality. Try taking all that on. You wouldn’t survive for a second.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 23:15     Subject: Dads at the playground
I love my husband and that he takes the kids to parks but… yeah I still do all the work. There’s still cooking and cleaning.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 23:12     Subject: Dads at the playground
I went on a field trip and was looking forward to meeting other moms in DC’s class. Much to my surprise I was the only female with 6 other dads. FWIW, I did note that several of the dads had to take work calls during the outing, so these were not all SAHDs, but nice to see them so involved. That being said, I’d still like to have met more of the moms in the class! I am a WOHM, so don’t have a whole lot of interaction with other moms in the class.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 20:57     Subject: Dads at the playground
Anonymous wrote:The moms are at home with the infants. The dads have been ordered to take the older kid out and not to come back until either the mom or the baby has woken up from their nap.


This. Story of my early motherhood life.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 16:24     Subject: Dads at the playground
Anonymous wrote:Or it’s the divorced dads taking their kids to the park when they have them under their custody agreement.


Dads with children who still play at playgrounds don’t tend to be divorced yet.