Anonymous
Post 06/18/2023 14:19     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
Anonymous wrote:Stay home.


+100
No freaking way I'd go.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2023 14:14     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
Anonymous wrote:We’re visiting my ILs for the Fourth of July, a 5-hour drive if we’re lucky. We’re staying in a hotel because my BIL and his family are also going to be there, flying in from Oregon. Understandably, BIL’s family isn’t going to bring anything.

Also understandably, MIL/FIL are asking for help with food, but when DH just offered to pay for takeout meals, restaurant food, and/or a big grocery run (with easy things like rotisserie chicken, family-sized lasagnas, etc.), they balked. They don’t want to serve those types of meals, they want homemade.

Well, DH said he’d be happy to grill a few nights, and we can bring some supplies and maybe side dishes, maybe some frozen things like a big batch of chili. But ILs are shooting down any and all relatively easy ideas. But they also don’t want to cook themselves. And they don’t want to go out. Honestly asking for ideas of what to bring/how to handle this, but honestly…we’re driving five hours, paying for a hotel, and you won’t even let us contribute in an easy way? Hoping DCUM can pitch in with good advice. Thanks, guys!


Your in-laws' demand of home made food is unreasonable. Just offer Starbucks gift cards and some Happy Meals.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2023 14:05     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
Offer what you are willing to give (which is plenty), and hold your ground. (Unless you want to throw on one meal cooked by the whole crowd, once you have all been there a few days. (Like a potluck)

Make your husband have the conversation.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2023 13:57     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
So they want freshly-cooked homemade food, but don't want you to dirty up their kitchen to make it? Insane.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2023 13:56     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
Anonymous wrote:OP here. We’re going to try a combo of buying at the grocery store close to them and decanting into some Tupperware, and then just announcing that one night will be takeout, etc. So it will seem like we are compromising.

Thank you all for the suggestions!

Good plan OP!
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2023 13:51     Subject: Re:We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Buy burgers and dogs and grill them.

Make potato salad or pasta salad and bring it in a cooler.

Why is this so complicated for you?


OK, great. Sounds like that takes care of exactly one meal for a party of 10 for a multi-day visit where three meals a day are required. Now what? Hmm? Why is understanding that not just one meal is needed so complicated for you?


OMG you might all starve to death! This is very worrisome. Or maybe a bunch of adults can brainstorm when you're all there so nobody passes out from hunger. Every meal doesn't need to be painstakingly planned out in advance and brought with you in the car. The elderly in-laws are likely just stressed.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2023 13:51     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
OP here. We’re going to try a combo of buying at the grocery store close to them and decanting into some Tupperware, and then just announcing that one night will be takeout, etc. So it will seem like we are compromising.

Thank you all for the suggestions!
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2023 13:50     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
I'd just say no. The trunk will be packed with suitcases, and this is a vacation. Having to pack for a trip is enough work, I'm not also cooking several days of meals in advance and figuring out how to keep them from spoiling or getting crushed also. Sorry, no.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2023 13:49     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
Anonymous wrote:Say things are homemade when you actually just buy them locally. Just to your parents-in-law.



This. Pack your large picnic-type serving platters and bowls and transfer and transfer the stuff you buy at a nearby grocery store into them. Your in-laws won't know the difference.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2023 13:48     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
Just show up empty handed and figure it out when you get there. What can they do to stop that? Or make a huge mess in their kitchen making food until they realize how bad that idea is.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2023 13:46     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
I would just tell them what you’re bringing and say see you then. No more feedback or back and forth. Alternately I would free myself from this insanity and stay home but it seems you’re set on going.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2023 13:46     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op, your post doesn’t make any sense. You can’t cook a bunch of meals and safely bring them on a five hour road trip and have the meals be good people want to eat.

Your suggestions on your post are the way to go. Your in laws are elderly and may be experiencing cognitive decline. Stop engaging and say you will do a grocery run when you get there and will be happy to cook on their kitchen. If they aren’t happy with that, eat breakfast at your hotel and eat out and do takeout the rest of the time.

Do not cook meals att your house and bring them on coolers. That’s dumb.


Agreed. Treat ILs like you treat kids. "You get what you get and you don't get upset." I'm sure whatever OP comes up with food-wise will be reasonable.


No stop being a control freak

Find out what they want to cook and help.


The ILs are the control freaks in this situation.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2023 13:25     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
You’ve handled it fine. If they don’t want what your dh has offered, they can cook themselves. What he’s offered is very reasonable. I would stay out of it. I would also cot cook and pack food. It’s stressful already getting a family out of town.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2023 12:52     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
Can someone run interference for the ILs while dinner is prepped? They return and dinner is served, you way.

Agree that either cater and or buy there.

Go out one night.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2023 12:15     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
So what you do is, you bring tupperwares and casserole dishes from home. And a giant cooler.

find a grocery store maybe thirty min away from in-laws. Stop at the grocery store before you grt there and get a bunch of deli food sides, transfer to your own containers, put it in the cooler with the bag od ice you bought at same grocery, and voila. Homemade food for picky in laws.