Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like we missed our chance to sell when the market was red hot (I'm not in DC area). It makes me anxious about trying to sell in a cooler market, and I think we missed our chance to get the highest price for our property, but it doesn't "depress" me.

You can’t see how that is totally different from OP, who has nothing?

OP is able to buy a $1m house. She has started this pity party before, and it's as tone deaf and whiny now as it previously was.

I still kick myself for not buying in 2012 with a 3% FHA loan. I had just finished grad school, had a stable job, student loan payments, and a small downpayment. I foolishly thought I needed to save for 10-15% downpayment.

That was so dumb. I shoulda just bought a small rowhouse or 2-3 unit with 3% down and got some roommates/tenants. Stupid stupid stupid.

We have a house now that appreciated nicely, but clearly would’ve been better to just buy right after the fallout of the financial crisis

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What were your reasons for not buying sooner? Genuinely curious. Perhaps your rationale still stands.

I was stabilizing my life after divorce, finding new employment and then COVID hit which pushed everything back by a couple of years till things stabilized.

So you were not in the place to buy then. You are now. Don’t be so hard on yourself. A house is much more than an investment. You have your kids and you are making a new life for yourself now.

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Anonymous wrote:Middle aged first time buyer and I am practically suicidal over mistakes I made by not buying at what turned out to be the last possible time I could have afforded a nice house.

Its okay, just save and invest. After retiring you can move to a low cost area with no worries about commute, schools or rooms for your offspring and buy a cute little home.

It's too late for that solution. Life is now. My kids' life is now.

Far more than a nice house, your kids need you being present in the moment with them - this, everyday, moment.

Bullshit. They also need space to have friends over. A community. A home they feel proud of instead of their current shithole we have outgrown.

What are the biggest problems with your current place? Is it just not enough space, or are there things you could do to fix it up and make it nicer to live in? Could you get creative with furniture to create more storage, to free up floor space and make it feel bigger?

I think it can be helpful to keep in perspective that in many major cities, for example in Asia, families live in small apartments and raise their kids there all the time and it's the norm and no one looks down on it. The issue here is that so many others have huge houses with yards, so it's hard to see that and feel like you are less than, but if you really focus on what you actually need, it might not be that much.

Shut up Pollyanna. We live in a tiny 2BR rental that is way too small.

Wow. That is kind of uncalled for and makes you not seem not very nice.

Look someone who owns a home and is just bemoaning that they didn’t put it on the market at the exact perfect time to get absolute top dollar for it is just rubbing salt in the wounds for someone in my situation.

we aren't clear what your situation is - you say you can't buy but won't tell us budget or area. maybe you can buy. Just not what you could've a few years ago. I'm in that same boat and it sucks massively but I can't change it. I just keep looking and hoping something will fit. What else can we do?

This. But without any equity at all.

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Anonymous wrote:Middle aged first time buyer and I am practically suicidal over mistakes I made by not buying at what turned out to be the last possible time I could have afforded a nice house.

Its okay, just save and invest. After retiring you can move to a low cost area with no worries about commute, schools or rooms for your offspring and buy a cute little home.

It's too late for that solution. Life is now. My kids' life is now.

Far more than a nice house, your kids need you being present in the moment with them - this, everyday, moment.

Bullshit. They also need space to have friends over. A community. A home they feel proud of instead of their current shithole we have outgrown.

What are the biggest problems with your current place? Is it just not enough space, or are there things you could do to fix it up and make it nicer to live in? Could you get creative with furniture to create more storage, to free up floor space and make it feel bigger?

I think it can be helpful to keep in perspective that in many major cities, for example in Asia, families live in small apartments and raise their kids there all the time and it's the norm and no one looks down on it. The issue here is that so many others have huge houses with yards, so it's hard to see that and feel like you are less than, but if you really focus on what you actually need, it might not be that much.

Shut up Pollyanna. We live in a tiny 2BR rental that is way too small.

Wow. That is kind of uncalled for and makes you not seem not very nice.

Look someone who owns a home and is just bemoaning that they didn’t put it on the market at the exact perfect time to get absolute top dollar for it is just rubbing salt in the wounds for someone in my situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What were your reasons for not buying sooner? Genuinely curious. Perhaps your rationale still stands.

I was stabilizing my life after divorce, finding new employment and then COVID hit which pushed everything back by a couple of years till things stabilized.

what is your current budget? maybe people on here will have some ideas.

Anonymous wrote:What were your reasons for not buying sooner? Genuinely curious. Perhaps your rationale still stands.

I was stabilizing my life after divorce, finding new employment and then COVID hit which pushed everything back by a couple of years till things stabilized.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like we missed our chance to sell when the market was red hot (I'm not in DC area). It makes me anxious about trying to sell in a cooler market, and I think we missed our chance to get the highest price for our property, but it doesn't "depress" me.

The market is still hot

For some things, not others. The condo market has definitely stalled if not fallen. We have neighbors who sold condos on our block in 2019 for 700k and even higher for larger, nicer units. Now similar units are sitting for ages and ages and even with price cuts down to the low 600s or even upper 500s, they aren't moving. These are nice condos near public transportation in a neighborhood that usually attracts lots of young professionals -- plenty of bars and restaurants nearby. For reference, we bought for 550k in 2016. It is depressing to think that if we tried to sell now, we might not even recoup closing costs, and that's if we could sell at all. We know people who have decided instead to rent their places out, which is fine if you have enough money to buy something else without accessing equity on your condo, but the vast majority of people don't have that option.

For people who have outgrown their homes and can't sell them, or can't sell them for enough to enable them to buy something bigger, it's really frustrating. We feel like we are failing our kids. And it would be different if it felt like this was a common problem in the area, but it doesn't. As housing prices have skyrockets, we meet fewer families in our economic position and lots of much richer folks who don't have these problems. They are buying 1.5-2m homes as "starters" with family money combined with very large private sector incomes. When we moved her this neighborhood was full of feds, non-profit folks, a smattering of lawyers and consultants but people with student loans and without family money. It's a totally different place. We don't belong here anymore and never will again, but we own a property here and can't afford to sell it or buy something somewhere else in the region. We feel trapped.

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Anonymous wrote:Houses I could have stretched to buy at 1.2M 1-3 years ago are now at 1.7M. With current rates and can't afford today's 1.2M, which is orders of magnitude less nice what what I didn't stretch to buy 1-2 years ago. I am miserable.

Read what you wrote. You are in a position to spend $1.2 MILLION DOLLARS on a house. You are doing just fine.

I am not blaming you or throwing shade, but the sooner you realize that your mindset (not your actual circumstances) are the source of your misery, the quicker you can move on and stop beating yourself up over this.

No I am not. I WAS in that position before at lower prices and rates. Now I am not anymore.

What is your budget now with the current rates?

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Anonymous wrote:Middle aged first time buyer and I am practically suicidal over mistakes I made by not buying at what turned out to be the last possible time I could have afforded a nice house.

Its okay, just save and invest. After retiring you can move to a low cost area with no worries about commute, schools or rooms for your offspring and buy a cute little home.

It's too late for that solution. Life is now. My kids' life is now.

Far more than a nice house, your kids need you being present in the moment with them - this, everyday, moment.

Bullshit. They also need space to have friends over. A community. A home they feel proud of instead of their current shithole we have outgrown.

What are the biggest problems with your current place? Is it just not enough space, or are there things you could do to fix it up and make it nicer to live in? Could you get creative with furniture to create more storage, to free up floor space and make it feel bigger?

I think it can be helpful to keep in perspective that in many major cities, for example in Asia, families live in small apartments and raise their kids there all the time and it's the norm and no one looks down on it. The issue here is that so many others have huge houses with yards, so it's hard to see that and feel like you are less than, but if you really focus on what you actually need, it might not be that much.

Shut up Pollyanna. We live in a tiny 2BR rental that is way too small.

Wow. That is kind of uncalled for and makes you not seem not very nice.

I believe this person has posted before and there is really nothing any of us can say to help.

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Anonymous wrote:Middle aged first time buyer and I am practically suicidal over mistakes I made by not buying at what turned out to be the last possible time I could have afforded a nice house.

Its okay, just save and invest. After retiring you can move to a low cost area with no worries about commute, schools or rooms for your offspring and buy a cute little home.

It's too late for that solution. Life is now. My kids' life is now.

Far more than a nice house, your kids need you being present in the moment with them - this, everyday, moment.

Bullshit. They also need space to have friends over. A community. A home they feel proud of instead of their current shithole we have outgrown.

What are the biggest problems with your current place? Is it just not enough space, or are there things you could do to fix it up and make it nicer to live in? Could you get creative with furniture to create more storage, to free up floor space and make it feel bigger?

I think it can be helpful to keep in perspective that in many major cities, for example in Asia, families live in small apartments and raise their kids there all the time and it's the norm and no one looks down on it. The issue here is that so many others have huge houses with yards, so it's hard to see that and feel like you are less than, but if you really focus on what you actually need, it might not be that much.

Shut up Pollyanna. We live in a tiny 2BR rental that is way too small.

Wow. That is kind of uncalled for and makes you not seem not very nice.

Anonymous wrote:I feel like we missed our chance to sell when the market was red hot (I'm not in DC area). It makes me anxious about trying to sell in a cooler market, and I think we missed our chance to get the highest price for our property, but it doesn't "depress" me.

The market is still hot

Why don't you give us your budget and areas you are looking. Perhaps there is something you are not considering?

What were your reasons for not buying sooner? Genuinely curious. Perhaps your rationale still stands.