Anonymous wrote:Wondering this also. Do you take into account venue/expense of the wedding or just the relationship?

The amount of the gift is dependent upon my relationship with the bride and groom. The cost of the wedding is irrelevant.

I spend $100 for me or $200 for us as a couple.

These days we are often paying $1000+ to attend a wedding between the flights and hotels for multiple day events and an increasing number of destination weddings. I’m not going to also gift $500, lol.

Anonymous wrote:Wedding gift amounts are cultural and regional. The posters who are saying they give more might be higher income but they also just might be from a community where that is expected.

I hate figuring out how much I’m supposed to spend, I wish they would publish their expectations lol.

It’s called a registry

I got married in 2003 and the vast majority of guests gave $50. The most we received from anyone was $200 (our parents and my boss).

We gave $500 to the last two weddings we attended, but honestly most people just bought off the “registry,” which were honeymoon excursion items

Anonymous wrote:This is highly dependent on your social class, which is why everyone is talking past each other.

Except plenty of weddings have guests in a range of SES. I’ve seen young couples look down their noses when a relative didn’t give x amount — yet I know for a fact that relative gave a generous amount given their situation (old relative on SS, no pension, not much in savings). My one aunt has 8 children. One of her children is a multi-million, multiple houses. One is a courtesy driver for a local car repair shop with a SAH spouse — his godfather paid for his three kids to go to private school which he could not afford. One lives in a trailer park — and not a super nice one, with stepkids who have spent time in prison. The rest are lower middle/middle class. The ability of the siblings to contribute varies drastically. I have relatives on the other side with a large-ish family (5 children) and similar story.

Guests should give gifts, but bride and groom should not expect them.

This is highly dependent on your social class, which is why everyone is talking past each other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People were giving $100 per couple back in the 90s and early 2000s. With inflation, is $500 the new $100 for a wedding gift?

It was $200 a couple bare minimum in 1990s. A $100 dollar a couple is the 1970s.

At $500 a person you are “covering” your plate.

As someone who got married in 1998, I beg to differ. Other than parents, our biggest cash gift was $100. we considered it generous.

I got married in the mid 2000s. my closest relatives gave me $100 and I thought that was generous. My parents gave me $300.

I invited people because my husband and I wanted them there. We had no expectation of recouping our money — and we paid for EVERYTHING ourselves.

Those of you expecting $x and your parents paid? pfft. The DCUM entitlement never fails to entertain.

Also, the more family / generational money a couple comes from — the more money they seem to expect as gifts. Hmm. 🤔

People need to include in their response whether they are from Manhattan and if they went to a fancy private school and/or belong to an exclusive private club.
I got married in 2000 and had a couple guests that gave $300 and maybe one $500 but I was blown away by those—most weee in the $100 range.
I am not from Manhattan, went to public school, and have never been to a club except once for a fundraiser. I assume the people saying that $500-1000 was standard even 20 years ago travel in different circles from me.

It depends on who is getting married. My cousins, nieces and nephews we give $1,000. Others $500.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never given only $100 to a wedding, and the first one I went to was in the mid 90’s. $100 would have seemed like an insult- I’d have been embarrassed to give that little.

You are seriously out of touch. I could not have afforded more than $100 back then, and even now it’s not nothing for my family. If you would judge a friend for the amount of a gift then good riddance. I hate to be unkind on here but posts like yours disgust me.

My wedding was not a gift grab. We invited our families and friends to share our joy. This is what a wedding is supposed to be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never given only $100 to a wedding, and the first one I went to was in the mid 90’s. $100 would have seemed like an insult- I’d have been embarrassed to give that little.

Your privilege is showing.

What privilege? I rent, don’t own a car and earn five figures. But wedding are important and I save up and sacrifice other things for that.

DP. Just please don’t give that much to a wealthy couple. Save it for yourself.

There is no hard rule, just give what seems right to your heart and to your wallet. Not nice to be cheap but no point messing up your budget. We were completely okay with whatever people gave on our wedding. Wedding isn't a GoFundMe, only invite as many as you feel comfortable paying for.

We give $100. It’s not about the gift and it’s not about how fancy or not fancy the wedding is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never given only $100 to a wedding, and the first one I went to was in the mid 90’s. $100 would have seemed like an insult- I’d have been embarrassed to give that little.

Your privilege is showing.

What privilege? I rent, don’t own a car and earn five figures. But wedding are important and I save up and sacrifice other things for that.

Maybe you still rent because you're giving away all your money at weddings