Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Team Cousin. Why would you do that?!?! The fault is yours. Call her and apologize. What were you thinking?

It was an ask, not a summons. OPs cousin could have said "no we don't have the room" or "we can't accommodate them too" and just proceeded with the original plans. That's what an adult would have done, vs. a petulant child, which is apparently OPs cousin.

It was a rude thing to ask.

Maybe the cousin found it rude and off putting and decided they didn’t want a visit from someone rude.

It’s family.

So?

When did people stop allowing family over? It seems today that no one is welcome in homes. I remember when people celebrated being around family.

Really? When was this??

60-90s

Anonymous wrote:This must be the cousin posting in the reverse post, just like our millennials are mean op.

Huh ??

who's to say these teens are nice people? For all we readers know, they are rude (like their grandma), sullen kids who will steal and go through medicine cabinets looking for prescription drugs.

OP, your request was incredibly rude. You deserved to be canceled on.

If you like your cousin so well you wanted to visit her at all, why do you now NOT like her so much that you aren't even concerned she might actually be sick?

Do you see how you are making this 100 percent about you, your feelings, your plans, your grandkids, when maybe it shouldn't be All About You? Did you even express concern to her or have you followed up to ask how she's feeling? With no further discussion of your trip/grandkids? I'm betting not.

You also overstepped in a huge way. Yes, you asked her instead of telling her the grandkids (plural! Good grief!) would come. And while she should have had the spine to tell you, "Sally, I can't accommodate you plus the grandkids, so sorry, I can host you but not them" -- that would have been ideal but I wonder if she heard in your tone or words that you expected her to say yes? Maybe she's afraid of saying no to you, so she said she was sick instead. If someone is afraid of saying no to you, it's time to look at yourself -- not at them.

Apologize to her because you were in the wrong. She should have handled it better but that really is not on her--many people get tongue-tied and scared when they have to say no to oversteppers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team Cousin. Why would you do that?!?! The fault is yours. Call her and apologize. What were you thinking?

It was an ask, not a summons. OPs cousin could have said "no we don't have the room" or "we can't accommodate them too" and just proceeded with the original plans. That's what an adult would have done, vs. a petulant child, which is apparently OPs cousin.

It was a rude thing to ask. Maybe the cousin found it rude and off putting and decided they didn’t want a visit from someone rude.

JFC. It was not rude to ask. It's rarely rude to ask. And certainly not something like this. If she announced "Sue is coming on the visit with me" or showed up with extra people . . . THAT is rude.

GMAB with you judgmental, uptight types.

It's almost always rude to ask, and the people who ask, often prefacing it with "It's fine if you say no," generally don't take no for an answer.

True. They will say "it's no big deal to refuse, grow up!" But if you refuse they'll say "how hard is it to wash a couple of extra towels and bring out two pillows? there's no reason to refuse, grow up!" Pushy people are pushy and cannot accept others' limitations. It sounds like cousin made a mental health call to not add on all that stress of grocery planning and socializing with two last minute people.
I am welcoming but I have the resources to help me. If I had to accommodate more with a smaller budget and home, I'd refuse too. Some people love to pile in the people on the living room floor and scrape together and share which is lovely for them but stressful and uncomfortable for me.

Just because teens can wipe their own tushes and feed themselves, doesn't mean they are easy guests.Totally rude to try to impose. I would have cancelled too.

This must be the cousin posting in the reverse post, just like our millennials are mean op.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team Cousin. Why would you do that?!?! The fault is yours. Call her and apologize. What were you thinking?

It was an ask, not a summons. OPs cousin could have said "no we don't have the room" or "we can't accommodate them too" and just proceeded with the original plans. That's what an adult would have done, vs. a petulant child, which is apparently OPs cousin.

It was a rude thing to ask.

Maybe the cousin found it rude and off putting and decided they didn’t want a visit from someone rude.

It’s family.

So?

When did people stop allowing family over? It seems today that no one is welcome in homes. I remember when people celebrated being around family.

Really? When was this??

Anonymous wrote:Op, you should not have asked to bring anyone else - - that changes everything. You have now shown you are unreliable, meaning, plans are made plans and then you want to change them. I think you eat the cost of the ticket. Or, you go and find some way to enjoy yourself in that area without being an imposition to your cousin. Maybe while you're there, you treat her to lunch but only if she feels like it. You stay somewhere else.

OP can do what she wants and the ticket is purchased but this seems weird to me to contact the cousin for lunch. If I cancel someone's visit and they still fly out and visit my area, whatever, but how awkward would a meal be in this scenario?

Op, you should not have asked to bring anyone else - - that changes everything. You have now shown you are unreliable, meaning, plans are made plans and then you want to change them. I think you eat the cost of the ticket. Or, you go and find some way to enjoy yourself in that area without being an imposition to your cousin. Maybe while you're there, you treat her to lunch but only if she feels like it. You stay somewhere else.

Anonymous wrote:OP: I’m generally baffled as to why she would fall ill and cancel entire trip vs politely saying no, my grandchildren cant come. Im not a troll. Have a good night. People are so rude.

You are the rude one hence this thread!!

Anonymous wrote:OP: I’m generally baffled as to why she would fall ill and cancel entire trip vs politely saying no, my grandchildren cant come. Im not a troll. Have a good night. People are so rude.

You asking to add two teens makes you look like a user. She cancelled because she can’t deal with that crap.

I sometimes cancel altogether if I feel someone is being high maintenance (unexpectedly). Because even if you say no the first time, there will be a second time.