Horrible father. He can marry someone his age.

This culture makes me feel bad for the kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you to the one helpful commenter. You are right, he can tell them and they can deal. I have definitely moved on, just will always be a mama bear.

Hi OP. Just be there when the fallout happens. He will inevitably drop your kids for his new kids and the wife will treat your kids like they are outsiders. It's going to be awful. I'm sorry.

He hasn't even started his second family yet. You need to chill.

My ex-BIL was abusive to my sister and her kids. Her kids are still trying to have a relationship with their father. Whenever he had a girlfriend who had kids he would treat his own kids as an even greater after thought. I have friends who grew up with Dad’s who were self-centered. It leaves scars. We don’t know the history of this father’s relationship with his kids. Dad may bear responsibility for adult child not being thrilled with his father’s news. Don’t assume it is just a salty ex-wife. In the words of Jennifer Aniston, he may have an empathy chip missing that has affected his adult children.

I guarantee OP is the reason the AC is taking it hard.

Anonymous wrote:AC's are aware of exDH's GF and his plan to have more kids with her, which presumably means getting married. Do I tell them he is shopping for an engagement ring? Don't ask me how I know, but I do. Or MMOB? One AC is taking this really hard, so not sure if me gently telling the news is better than him just dropping it like a bomb. What would you want to have happen? Thanks.

MYOB.

What is AC taking hard? The risk of lower inheritance share?

Anonymous wrote:

AC's are aware of exDH's GF and his plan to have more kids with her, which presumably means getting married

If the ACs already know this, how is the ring shopping going to be some kind of bombshell? They are adults and I doubt that they need a ton of Dad time.

If the man just wanted to have family after family, he wouldn't have waited until his kids were adults. More likely, he fell in love with a woman who is younger than he is who happens to want kids. Is he supposed to abstain from relationships and sex for the rest of his life? Tell her to find someone else and toss her aside because he has an adult child who sees herself as daddy's little girl?

I have two uncles who have been married three times each and they both have had the best, longest-lasting relationship with their third wives.

This is such a dumba$$ response.

Anonymous wrote:Thank you to the one helpful commenter. You are right, he can tell them and they can deal. I have definitely moved on, just will always be a mama bear.

Hi OP. Just be there when the fallout happens. He will inevitably drop your kids for his new kids and the wife will treat your kids like they are outsiders. It's going to be awful. I'm sorry.

Anonymous wrote:What on earth? Let me guess, you are the mom who held the kids hostage because you needed to hate him and now he doesn't have a relationship with him. No, he can tell them. Stop spying on them.

+1000

And it seems like OP has crossed the line from mere spying to stalking.

Get help, OP. You need it.

Do nothing. It's up to ex to tell the adult kids.

You stay out of it.

AC's are aware of exDH's GF and his plan to have more kids with her, which presumably means getting married

If the ACs already know this, how is the ring shopping going to be some kind of bombshell? They are adults and I doubt that they need a ton of Dad time.

If the man just wanted to have family after family, he wouldn't have waited until his kids were adults. More likely, he fell in love with a woman who is younger than he is who happens to want kids. Is he supposed to abstain from relationships and sex for the rest of his life? Tell her to find someone else and toss her aside because he has an adult child who sees herself as daddy's little girl?

I have two uncles who have been married three times each and they both have had the best, longest-lasting relationship with their third wives.

I would look into a therapist for the AC who is taking it hard.
I am not a fan of having new young families but an average adult should be able to take it in stride, and if they don’t they need a therapist

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What on earth? Let me guess, you are the mom who held the kids hostage because you needed to hate him and now he doesn't have a relationship with him. No, he can tell them. Stop spying on them.

F off.

Looks like Ex-H made the correct move.