People do this with everything. They do it with food, with having kids or not. They for some reason have a hard time accepting that different people make different choices.

Anonymous wrote:You are like a straight guy in a gay bar

No, it isn’t like this at all.

“Alcohol is the only drug you have to explain not using”

Great PSA, OP. Using alcohol needs to stop being the norm. I think the younger generation is figuring it out, as far as danger and wastefulness, which is hopeful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP My DH stopped drinking alcohol in 2005 and still has the occasional asshat try to foist an alcoholic drink on him. FWIW he just very calmly says "no thank you" and has sparkling water. Every. Single. Time.

It will get easier as you age, people in their 30s are probably the worst.

OP here - we are all 50/close to 50!

I think people of all ages do this. My kid doesn't drink. While still a minor and at a family party of a friend, the dad kept pushing my kid to drink. The parents were allowing underage kids to drink. Same kid while at college and of legal age to drink had a professor at an event who would not stop pushing kid to drink. Both adults were 50+.

It's amazing how the insecure folks who always have to have a drink in their hand can't understand you can have a wonderful time without drinking.

I don't drink, and people always ask why not, I say well since xyz happened I watch them crawl back into their skin and and realize how stupid they are being.

People make choices, like OP I don't drink, don't force your ways on me. Imagine this, I love sex, a lot, did some swinging at times, do I go around parties encouraging people to swing with me?

This seems strange to me. I generally don't drink (just don't like it), although I will, on very rare occasions, have a single glass of wine with a meal if I am dining outside of the home. Otherwise, no alcohol. Since I have been an adult, I have never had anyone question why I was drinking a soda, seltzer, or water instead. When I was in college, sure. Since then, people have offered me drinks, but not pushed or questioned anything.

Anonymous wrote:You are like a straight guy in a gay bar

Lol.

You are like a straight guy in a gay bar

People have a startling lack of boundaries about alcohol. I have almost totally given it up (1-2 drinks a year, and I don't even always do that) and have had some bizarre comments as well.

For me, the main driver was that it affects my sleep--no matter how early in the day I have it and no matter what kind of alcohol it is. So when I say that, people usually don't come back and try to encourage me to drink more ... so that may be worth a try, if it's something that might help you out.

I'm also pretty direct, so if someone kept it up I'd probably say: "oh Larla wow, are you actually PEER PRESSURING me??"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When the person jokingly deflected and said you’re a recovering alcoholic, I would have loved to have seen their face had you said, “As a matter of fact, that’s exactly it. Is that a problem?”

I know, right? For various reasons, I'm not really at that point, but it was an interesting moment!

She probably thought you were pregnant. It’s the only reason I can imagine someone joking about being an alcoholic - if they feel fairly sure that it’s another reason.

She thought OP was pregnant at 50/close to 50? I don’t think so. Just rude.

I don't drink much and neither does DH. However it just occurred to me how funny it would be to joke about DH being pregnant next time someone comments.

I also think a lot of people are just oblivious to how common it is for people to have struggles with alcohol addiction. You probably look great and don’t fit their image of what addiction/ recovery looks like, and it just doesn’t occur to them that your not drinking relates to a struggle rather than just a casual take it or leave it choice. It would be great if people caught up with this reality, but I’m not holding my breath.

OP I’m really sorry. That sounds like it was a lot of unnecessary and invasive pressure. I’ll echo what other posters upthread have said. The people giving you a hard time/attention about this are the ones with unhealthy relationships with alcohol themselves. I see this with food/weight. I am overweight and I find the people who are constantly “noticing” if I’ve lost weight or commenting on my body or looking at my plate are lifelong dieters/orthorexics who are very obsessed with their own food religion of whatever flavor. People who aren’t obsessed with dieting don’t overstep these boundaries.

Are these your friends who keep pushing drinks on you? Or are these people you don’t know who are offering your drink trying to be a good host etc. I think a simple I don’t drink is enough for normal, rational people to not harass you about it.

If these are your friends, then they don’t sound like good friends.

Anonymous wrote:This is more about the company YOU keep than general interactions.

I disagree with this. Haven’t you ever been to a party where your friend keeps wanting to top off your glass or is like come on let’s take shots even if you declined? There’s something about alcohol where people feel better when others around them are drinking as much as they are.

This is more about the company YOU keep than general interactions.