OP has an infant. She can check back in a couple years and update on this line of thinking. I had some crazy thoughts when I had an infant too (not those crazy thoughts though).

I wouldn’t let my kid wear any clothing with buttons. I made all of his baby food from scratch, etc. (sorry, only had boys, apparently adding to the sexual predator pool). Just so many things that I thought were so important but weren’t.

Anonymous wrote:I love kids. I’m not a predator. I just genuinely enjoy working with kids. They can be obnoxious, sure. But not all kids are obnoxious. Kids are generally much funnier, more imaginative, creative, full of wonder and joy than adults. Kids (most kids) haven’t been jaded yet and are not as cynical and negative as adults.

I would never harm a child and I am not creepy. I definitely think *some* people do take positions where they can work w kids just to prey on kids. But certainly not the majority of teachers, coaches, youth ministers.

Same. I certainly don't have an elementary school teacher, nurture-y vibe, and kids didn't like me so I thought I wouldn't like kids. But after having my own, I learned how to click with them and they can be really fun. I actually started substitute teaching in elementary school because I am really good with the kids, and I feel like we as a society are failing them in the public school system.

Op the root of your issue is your bizarre hatred of children. Our society has become so anti-child because of people like you and it's tragic. People are cruel to parents who have the audacity to take children out in spaces where children have traditionally been welcomed. We are hyper focused on our own kids but couldn't care less about those we aren't morally obligated to love. In other countries parents feel safe letting their children out alone because it is assumed that caring for children is a group social responsibility but here it's everyone for themselves. But here you are saying that you couldn't possibly want to care for kids who aren't your own so if you do you must be a pedophile. Good grief.

No, there are good adults who enjoy working and nurturing young people. You just need to make sure the organization has background checks, makes sure that 2 adults are present, takes prevention classes, and still be very observant of adult behavior. Also, talk to your child about bad people and situations.

Anonymous wrote:What about teachers? I'm so tired of people thinking the lot of us are "indoctrinating" or maybe pedophiles.

My grandpa was a teacher in NYC. Not only that, he was one of the teachers who went to kids' homes when they were too sick/injured to go to school. I don't know how he got into teaching or why he picked it, but he was great at it. I have seen letters from former students DECADES after he worked with them, thanking him, keeping in touch, etc. He could look you up and down, and then go pull a book from his personal library for you, and you'd love it. Every time.

Anonymous wrote:No except in the case of priests and non fathers running Boy Scouts.

A young, single man was a very active leader in our Cub Scout troop. He had been a lifelong scout and moved to a new city. He was also extremely strict about following the rules (and making sure others did) about not being alone with kids, and I'm sure he was concerned about people being suspicious of him. After a few years, he ended up too busy to continue, but we were very lucky to have had him.

Please judge people based on their actions, not your fears.

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like medical professionals who work with kids are secretly child molesters?

Likely at least a percentage of male one, yes. I was sexually assaulted by a dentist during an appointment when I was 14. I do not leave my kids alone with male health care workers and I remind them there should always be another person present in the dentist's office.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's creepy, yes. Just like how I find male gymnastics coaches creepy. And male nanny's creepy. And male aides in SN classrooms creepy.

Ha! You would hate me. And I’m not a molester; never have been.

Looked for paid work in the 90s but was offered a volunteer job in a program sponsored by State to bring in Russian kids as exchange students. Did that for a few years on the side; nice kids.

Landed in desktop publishing; they needed a “summer RA.” Suddenly I’m looking after a dozen 12 year old boys for 6 weeks. It was challenging but also rewarding; did that for 2 years. Not what I planned to do, but still great. At least it was paid.

Wanted my kids to do Sunday school. Next thing I knew, I’d taught class for 6 years. Not what I sought, but that’s how it goes.

Son joined cub scouts. Couldn’t say no when they needed volunteer leaders.

These weren’t really jobs I wanted, but they were all pretty great.

Anonymous wrote:OP - your post says more about YOU than you realize. Please, for the sake of your child, get professional help.

Start on that now.

Will you never let your child out of your sight? Homeschool, no babysitters, no activities that you can't completely supervise?

No, I'm not suspicious of people who choose to work with kids. My husband is a teacher and coach. I would imagine you would give him the side eye and keep your kid within arm's reach.

OP- i get it, as a parent, one of my worst fears is that your child will become a victim of a predator. I don't think we should demonize a parent for this terrifying concern. That said, it's not helpful to live in a state of paranoia. As others have said, there are ways to protect your child, and definitely follow your instincts.

There are quite a few young men who coach as a side-hustle. My DH did so for a while before we had kids, pay is actually not bad (40/50/hr!), and he did it because he loves the sport, and was interested in making that his full-time career. As others have said, the key is to ensure (as much as possible) that kids are not isolated and are in public places. This protects everybody.

Going into camp season, i think about this a lot, because there's only so much you can control, but will definitely ensure my little one is empowered to speak up if anything strange is going on.

Anonymous wrote:So I work in LE and see and hear all sorts of stuff.I am also a paranoid person and think anyone has the potential to be a pedophile. Not literally like we all do, but in the sense that I don’t know what people think about behind the facade and you just never know. BUT I don’t let it impact my kids social life. I’ve talked to her about red flags, I’ve gone over scenarios with her, she knows to not change in front of other people etc etc…… OP you need to protect your kid as best you can by giving them age appropriate knowledge. Not keeping them in a bubble.

Absolutely this. The thinking that only “creepy guys” are pedos is like thinking only Muslims are terrorists, beyond profiling, it also leads you to false sense of security.

It’s a rough world out there and you need to be aware of red flags and troubling circumstances irrespective of “creepiness” or socioeconomic status, gender, etc. bias blinds and misleads you and to protect your children you need to have a healthy level of skepticism/inquisitiveness and trust but verify approach.

Yes at all religious privates schools

Anonymous wrote:I have a master's degree in an allied health field and work with kids. I really hope to God that people don't think that way of me. I think kids can be funny and I wanted to make a positive impact, but this is not my first choice in careers. I didn't get into this for any ulterior motive. This kind of question makes me question my career decision.

Don’t question your decision based on OP who is suffering from paranoia and anxiety. It’s not as though kids can just raise themselves or only ever interact w their own parents/grandparents so someone has got to take jobs working with kids. It’s important that the people who choose to work with kids are passionate about their work and love children.

Op, would you prefer your kid has teachers, coaches, etc who hate kids? Why are you so suspicious of someone enjoying working w children? We need people who love working w kids to take those jobs for our society to function.

What about teachers? I'm so tired of people thinking the lot of us are "indoctrinating" or maybe pedophiles.

Do you feel like medical professionals who work with kids are secretly child molesters?

OP you sound very paranoid and delusional.

Have you considered you might be suffering from PPD/PPA? I’m serious. You seem very anxious to the point of paranoia. Maybe consider seeing a Dr and getting on some meds. I had PPA and medication helped a lot.