Anonymous wrote:You can absolutely find another job! Including in government. Probably in your field but it's OK to change fields. Having 8 years in is worth something, I would try to stay federal. Can you try to find a mentor at work to help you with career planning?

PS, "females" as a noun is how we talk about animals. Just say women.

Interesting. Never knew that about using "females".

Anonymous wrote:Haha! Don't be a teacher!! I witnessed a queen bee and her hive tear up a lot of teachers. They were awful. Our school has a few pockets but not that bad. Most are nice. You just have to have a thick skin and find some leverage.

OP here. I hear you. I have a close friend- who is an elementary teacher. The stories she's telling me are pretty much unbelievable. I would never, ever become a teacher.

Anonymous wrote:OP, unless your husband's pension has significant survivor benefits, you can't afford to just quit.

Also, you are assuming that your high blood pressure is due to the issues at work. That may not be the case, and you need to treat it medically as well.

OP here. Yes, I'll get my husband's pension ( we opted for survivor benefits). I worked in private sector prior to entering government position. I would say, that I liked the dynamics of private sector better, but has worked really hard, and the pay wasn't that much better. The government benefits ( sick leave/annual leave) are actually much better.
Today, I got the best news I could possibly get- that one of those mean girls ( the worst one) will be leaving soon, because she is moving in a month to a different state. Things will be changing slightly, so we will see.

OP - I’ll be your work buddy. Also fed government, 42, 2 kids - 8 & 10, non management in a similar sounding office. Started 3 years ago from private sector and wondering if I can hang in.

If not me, there is someone else that feels the same in your office. Definitely within your Agency. Find that person and support each other through the toxicity. Also all the advice about looking for another fed job and blocking out what you can, putting boundaries in place is good.

I can't take anyone seriously if they call women "females".

Haha! Don't be a teacher!! I witnessed a queen bee and her hive tear up a lot of teachers. They were awful. Our school has a few pockets but not that bad. Most are nice. You just have to have a thick skin and find some leverage.

I don't trust anyone that refers to women as "females".

OP, unless your husband's pension has significant survivor benefits, you can't afford to just quit.

Also, you are assuming that your high blood pressure is due to the issues at work. That may not be the case, and you need to treat it medically as well.

Move to a cheaper area of the country, work part time and live on your savings.