Anonymous
Post 05/18/2023 11:16     Subject: Before I put my mom in her place, does this sound fair?
Sometimes we can't celebrate together with both grandmas so we do mine in the morning and evening for my white mother on law because she wakes up late and that's fine!
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2023 11:15     Subject: Before I put my mom in her place, does this sound fair?
I'm Hispanic and I love my white mother in law! We celebrate with both moms. She's so kind and sweet and I always tell my husband to treat her, take care of her, she is your mother!
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2023 11:15     Subject: Before I put my mom in her place, does this sound fair?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Tell your mom to leave you out of it. She shouldn’t be complaining about brother to you.

Other than that, I’d stay out of it.


+1
Triangulation is another narcissistic trait. Stay out of it and tell her you don't want to hear about it. When she cries you don't care (and if she's like my mom, she will), tell her you care to plan things with her but she makes it difficult when she wants to spend the time complaining about your brother, whom you have no control over. Then tell her you have other things to do than bad mouth your brother and SIL. Eventually she'll stop.

My mom still occasionally says my SIL "controls" my brother, but I always say "oh, sorry, I've got to run" whenever that comes up.


The narcissist in this situation is you, buddy.


Clearly a stranger on an anonymous form got your goal. Good luck!
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2023 11:13     Subject: Before I put my mom in her place, does this sound fair?
I feel sad for your mom. You guys are bad sons. You guys don't give her enough affection and gifts or she wouldn't feel so hurt and pain.

Some moms shouldn't had kids like you and your brother OP.

Better was to get an abortion or be gay
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2023 11:10     Subject: Before I put my mom in her place, does this sound fair?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I hope someone, someday gives karma back to OP and his brother. Yes, I wish you bad, bad luck to you and your families.



What does karma have in store for someone who wishes ill on strangers?


Double karma
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2023 11:06     Subject: Before I put my mom in her place, does this sound fair?
Once you have kids, you are a mom and she is grandma. She needs to stop trying to be the center of MD, as does the MIL. Boomers are so painful.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2023 08:30     Subject: Re:Before I put my mom in her place, does this sound fair?
Anonymous wrote:This thread and several others on the tribulations of Mother’s Day made me grateful that my mother is gone and that I avoided marriage and motherhood. Definitely I missed out on some good stuff, but this kind of constant insanity trying to navigate moms and in-laws and siblings and all the dysfunctional personalities and conflicts etc. seems so constantly exhausting!

To all the moms here who have to deal with all this kind of stuff as well as all the hard work of navigating life while parenting - you have my sympathy and belated well wishes on being moms.


+1. And whenever someone complains about the tribulations of home repair, it makes me grateful that I live in a cardboard box.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2023 08:29     Subject: Re:Before I put my mom in her place, does this sound fair?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why is no one celebrating the current, active mothers with young kids?? Why is this a war of which granny gets the most butt kissing? Boomers suck.


Hopefully the current, active mothers are enjoying the kid-free brunch outing and the family get-together. If they are not, then they should say something. I am a mother of young kids and would enjoy both of these things, provided I don’t have to put much effort into organizing them.


"current, active" mothers? WTF


Did you read the post I am quoting?
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2023 08:28     Subject: Re:Before I put my mom in her place, does this sound fair?
This thread and several others on the tribulations of Mother’s Day made me grateful that my mother is gone and that I avoided marriage and motherhood. Definitely I missed out on some good stuff, but this kind of constant insanity trying to navigate moms and in-laws and siblings and all the dysfunctional personalities and conflicts etc. seems so constantly exhausting!

To all the moms here who have to deal with all this kind of stuff as well as all the hard work of navigating life while parenting - you have my sympathy and belated well wishes on being moms.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2023 08:08     Subject: Before I put my mom in her place, does this sound fair?
If you do, she’ll probably see it as an attack. I’d just say you don’t want to hear any more complaints.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2023 08:07     Subject: Re:Before I put my mom in her place, does this sound fair?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why is no one celebrating the current, active mothers with young kids?? Why is this a war of which granny gets the most butt kissing? Boomers suck.


Hopefully the current, active mothers are enjoying the kid-free brunch outing and the family get-together. If they are not, then they should say something. I am a mother of young kids and would enjoy both of these things, provided I don’t have to put much effort into organizing them.


"current, active" mothers? WTF
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2023 08:06     Subject: Before I put my mom in her place, does this sound fair?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Tell your mom to leave you out of it. She shouldn’t be complaining about brother to you.

Other than that, I’d stay out of it.


+1
Triangulation is another narcissistic trait. Stay out of it and tell her you don't want to hear about it. When she cries you don't care (and if she's like my mom, she will), tell her you care to plan things with her but she makes it difficult when she wants to spend the time complaining about your brother, whom you have no control over. Then tell her you have other things to do than bad mouth your brother and SIL. Eventually she'll stop.

My mom still occasionally says my SIL "controls" my brother, but I always say "oh, sorry, I've got to run" whenever that comes up.


The narcissist in this situation is you, buddy.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2023 08:02     Subject: Re:Before I put my mom in her place, does this sound fair?
Anonymous wrote:Why is no one celebrating the current, active mothers with young kids?? Why is this a war of which granny gets the most butt kissing? Boomers suck.


Hopefully the current, active mothers are enjoying the kid-free brunch outing and the family get-together. If they are not, then they should say something. I am a mother of young kids and would enjoy both of these things, provided I don’t have to put much effort into organizing them.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2023 07:56     Subject: Before I put my mom in her place, does this sound fair?
Anonymous wrote:I hope someone, someday gives karma back to OP and his brother. Yes, I wish you bad, bad luck to you and your families.



What does karma have in store for someone who wishes ill on strangers?
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2023 00:03     Subject: Before I put my mom in her place, does this sound fair?
Explain that having her complain and wallow in her Mother’s Day disappointment with you every year, sure makes you dread the stupid day.