Anonymous
Post 05/01/2023 22:29     Subject: Do room parents get preferential treatment?
Anonymous wrote:At my old school, I saw this first-hand. We also had a lot of teachers with kids in the school. The lottery for field trip volunteers was ALWAYS rigged and the teacher-moms always got to go. I really thought this was unfair.

We don’t do this at my current school. We just sent out the signup for our second field trip. We asked parents who went on the first one to wait a few days to sign up so that others would have a chance.

It shouldn’t be about “rewarding” parents who volunteer. We should be making sure that as many kids/parents as possible can share some ES experiences.

On a related note, my old school had a “Volunteer of the Year” award. One year, it went to a dad who was independently wealthy and didn’t have to work. He had more money than he knew what to do with and just hung out at the school all the time out of boredom. I felt like it should have gone to a working mom who had to take time off work to volunteer or a SAHM who had to arrange childcare for younger children.


Really? You don't think the award should have gone to the guy that did the most volunteer work? You sound jealous and petty here.
Anonymous
Post 05/01/2023 22:27     Subject: Re:Do room parents get preferential treatment?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow- not normal, IME. I was room parent a few times and there was no preferential treatment. Usually the teacher sent out a signup genius and it was first come, first serve (for the first trip) and for any additional, parents who had NOT chaperoned yet got first dibs.

For parties, it was also signup genius for helpers- but any parent was always welcome to join and that was clearly stated.

This only seemed to be an issue in the very young grades. Usually by later elementary it was hard to find volunteers.


Our teacher uses sign up genius, but I’m still iced out as a new parent to the community. Despite a note on the sign up page that parent should sign up for one slot, there are a handful of known moms who sign up for all the slots. For example, story reader. There is a slot once a week and we have never had the chance to read in class. This weekend DC’s grandma is visiting and I looked months ago to sign up for her and of course the slot is already full with someone who has already volunteered in class multiple times and various roles.


You could have emailed the teacher and that parent and noted the special circumstances around grandma visiting and ask if you could have the slot or another that week. It's not hard, you are just too scared.
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 14:17     Subject: Do room parents get preferential treatment?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Teachers are professional. Professionals do not show favoritism. Teachers should not be casual, friends, with parents. Too much hanging-out at the school by the Room Mom is a problem.


It means they have problem kids


It also means their problem kids don’t get disciplinary records for bullying and physically hurt other kids. To answer your question, OP, yes, room parents and their close circle receive disturbing preferential treatment.


LOL

No teacher likes problem kids. These kids make the work day of the teachers a nightmare. Parents of problem kids are no-shows for most things.
Teacher can't stand problem kids and so the parents of such kids are never the room parents.

Room parents normally have NT, bright, well behaved and likable kids. Room parents are generally the super organized types that the teachers like to have around. Most teachers also already have the most helpful and pleasant parents identified to be room parents.


This is not true at all


+1 When I was the room parent, some of the most reliable volunteers were parents of the "problem" kids. They wanted to be there to make sure their kids behaved during their most stressful activities, like parties and field trips.
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 14:15     Subject: Do room parents get preferential treatment?
I work in an ES. I can assure you that the parents of the problem kids steer clear of the school and definitely don't volunteer for things! They are consistently last in the carline for pickup, first kids to come back after illness, usually way too soon. They want those kids out of their hair for every possible minute.
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 13:53     Subject: Do room parents get preferential treatment?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Teachers are professional. Professionals do not show favoritism. Teachers should not be casual, friends, with parents. Too much hanging-out at the school by the Room Mom is a problem.


It means they have problem kids


It also means their problem kids don’t get disciplinary records for bullying and physically hurt other kids. To answer your question, OP, yes, room parents and their close circle receive disturbing preferential treatment.


LOL

No teacher likes problem kids. These kids make the work day of the teachers a nightmare. Parents of problem kids are no-shows for most things.
Teacher can't stand problem kids and so the parents of such kids are never the room parents.

Room parents normally have NT, bright, well behaved and likable kids. Room parents are generally the super organized types that the teachers like to have around. Most teachers also already have the most helpful and pleasant parents identified to be room parents.


Lol. Only a room mom who is a legend in her own mind would write or think this. Ive seen room parents sign up because they want to be in the teachers business and keep an eye on their less than perfect kids.
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 12:52     Subject: Do room parents get preferential treatment?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Teachers are professional. Professionals do not show favoritism. Teachers should not be casual, friends, with parents. Too much hanging-out at the school by the Room Mom is a problem.


It means they have problem kids


It also means their problem kids don’t get disciplinary records for bullying and physically hurt other kids. To answer your question, OP, yes, room parents and their close circle receive disturbing preferential treatment.


LOL

No teacher likes problem kids. These kids make the work day of the teachers a nightmare. Parents of problem kids are no-shows for most things.
Teacher can't stand problem kids and so the parents of such kids are never the room parents.

Room parents normally have NT, bright, well behaved and likable kids. Room parents are generally the super organized types that the teachers like to have around. Most teachers also already have the most helpful and pleasant parents identified to be room parents.


This is not true at all
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 12:26     Subject: Do room parents get preferential treatment?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Teachers are professional. Professionals do not show favoritism. Teachers should not be casual, friends, with parents. Too much hanging-out at the school by the Room Mom is a problem.


It means they have problem kids


It also means their problem kids don’t get disciplinary records for bullying and physically hurt other kids. To answer your question, OP, yes, room parents and their close circle receive disturbing preferential treatment.


LOL

No teacher likes problem kids. These kids make the work day of the teachers a nightmare. Parents of problem kids are no-shows for most things.
Teacher can't stand problem kids and so the parents of such kids are never the room parents.

Room parents normally have NT, bright, well behaved and likable kids. Room parents are generally the super organized types that the teachers like to have around. Most teachers also already have the most helpful and pleasant parents identified to be room parents.


LOL! Our school is begging for room parents, teachers don't have a choice, they get the one person that volunteers.
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 12:25     Subject: Do room parents get preferential treatment?
Why wouldn't the teacher choose a parent that they know is reliable and trustworthy to chaperone the trip?
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 12:23     Subject: Do room parents get preferential treatment?
I've been a room parent once and it was during Covid, so all I was doing for most of the year was sending out emails, and even that was a lot of work. Nowadays, room parents are back to volunteering in school, frequently weekly, and frequently spending their own money on things like snacks and wipes. I'm all for them being given first dibs on chaperone responsibilities. They deserve to do the fun things, too (and frankly, having chaperoned a field trip before, it's not all that fun, you have to watch a group of 5-6 kids and there will always be an annoying kid in your group).
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 09:45     Subject: Re:Do room parents get preferential treatment?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am a room parent and we have a similar lottery for field trips. However, I am always give. First right of refusal since I spend a lot of time volunteering with the class, know all the kids, and the teachers know me. If a teacher is going to put a parent in charge of a group of elementary schoolers you bet they are going to lean on the ones they know.


This doesn't make sense. Since you're always around, they should allow other parents to chaperone before going to you. Lots of parents really do want to participate when they can. You should back out of all of the extra volunteer opportunities to give other parents a chance.


Huh? Your answer makes no sense. Why should room parent do the grunt work of doing the room parent duties for no rewards? Yes, I think of chaperoning as a "reward" for parents because they get to experience an outside school activity of their child and get to take cute pictures. "Volunteer opportunities" are doing the "room parent" work. No one is fighting to do those.

IMHO, teachers tend to lean towards reliable, friendly and sensible parents that they know. Especially in a situation where the safety of all the kids is very important.


Woah. As a working parent, I just want to be present for some of my kid's school activities because it's important for me, and my child likes it when I'm there. School activities aren't designed to be a reward for the parents. Just because you wish they were, doesn't make it so.

I was a sahm until DS was in 3rd grade and yes, a room parent one year. I volunteered at the school frequently those years. I did the work but never thought "And now, finally, my reward: the field trip!"


Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 09:36     Subject: Do room parents get preferential treatment?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Teachers are professional. Professionals do not show favoritism. Teachers should not be casual, friends, with parents. Too much hanging-out at the school by the Room Mom is a problem.


It means they have problem kids


It also means their problem kids don’t get disciplinary records for bullying and physically hurt other kids. To answer your question, OP, yes, room parents and their close circle receive disturbing preferential treatment.


LOL

No teacher likes problem kids. These kids make the work day of the teachers a nightmare. Parents of problem kids are no-shows for most things.
Teacher can't stand problem kids and so the parents of such kids are never the room parents.

Room parents normally have NT, bright, well behaved and likable kids. Room parents are generally the super organized types that the teachers like to have around. Most teachers also already have the most helpful and pleasant parents identified to be room parents.
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2023 09:16     Subject: Do room parents get preferential treatment?
When I read your OP title, my first thought was preferential treatment for what?

Field trip chaperoning is what you feel slightly by? This seems petty. Who cares. I also wouldn’t care who the teacher chit chats with at drop off either.

This isn’t about you. As long as the teacher is a good teacher and treats students fairly, I don’t see problem.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2023 21:56     Subject: Re:Do room parents get preferential treatment?
Anonymous wrote:Wow- not normal, IME. I was room parent a few times and there was no preferential treatment. Usually the teacher sent out a signup genius and it was first come, first serve (for the first trip) and for any additional, parents who had NOT chaperoned yet got first dibs.

For parties, it was also signup genius for helpers- but any parent was always welcome to join and that was clearly stated.

This only seemed to be an issue in the very young grades. Usually by later elementary it was hard to find volunteers.


Two kids in public and private and this has been the experience across the board.

The only time I got room parent advantage was when I was sending out the sign up genius, and then yes, I’d sure sign up first to the sign up genius that I have just sent out. But I would also find it weird that a teacher “randomly” chooses parents to chaperone. It doesn’t seem a very equitable system.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2023 21:15     Subject: Do room parents get preferential treatment?
Anonymous wrote:Parents who aren’t around all year for the work of class parties, reading buddies, field day, etc. shouldn’t be the ones jumping in to show up once on a field trip. Of course parents the teacher knows and trusts will get preference for field trip spots.


Why not? It's not like it takes special skills to chaperone that can only be learned by planning the Valentine's Day party. Why do people think they need to hoard all these opportunities? Mostly these people complain how they are doing all the "work" but they won't get out of the way and let other people volunteer when they can.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2023 21:11     Subject: Re:Do room parents get preferential treatment?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Being a room parent isn't the only way parents can volunteer in the school. There's no reason to put them on a pedestal when other people put in the effort just as much if not more, or contribute in other ways. I'm not a room parent but I put in many more hours in a volunteer capacity than the room parents do. I prefer the sign up genius route which gives everyone a fair shake. Let the rooms parents be the alternates if someone can't make it last minute if they have already had a turn chaperoning, like anyone else. But to act like they are the hardest working most selfless volunteers in the school who NEED this perk is ridiculous. I ask for nothing in return for the volunteer work I do. In the past 2 years I have chaperoned only 1 field trip and I have 3 elementary aged kids. I'm not often quick enough for the sign up.


Yeah. I don’t like the sign up genius. It favors SAHM parents who have more time to check email and will see the sign ups first and therefore get the slots and fill them before anyone else even sees the sign up genius. The teacher should give one week to see who wants to go and then pull names from a bag in front of the students. That would be fair.


I'm a SAHM. It favors the working moms who check email frequently. I don't need to check email all day long, so I miss these things, but I don't really care that much. There's usually one spot or one line item left. There's no perfect system but signup is at least transparent.