Your poor kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, it's a weird/inconvenient time...but it is one night. This doesn't really merit a question mark and an exclamation point in your thread title.

Why not?!

Yeah, it's a weird/inconvenient time...but it is one night. This doesn't really merit a question mark and an exclamation point in your thread title.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Its one night. I can't imagine going through life being this rigid and uptight

I take the opposite view: it's a preschool birthday party. Literally zero impact to skipping it, while sleep routines are important. And an exhausted toddler is not going to have a good time.

OP, your husband can go say hi, socialize, and bring a gift if that will smooth things over. But I'd keep the kid home. Likely your SIL won't care either way.

Tell me you aren’t close with your family/are “that” SIL without telling me…

On the other hand, if SIL wants to hold a weekday evening party for a preschooler, she should accept that some people might not be able to make it. Even if it's family.

This is the correct answer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its one night. I can't imagine going through life being this rigid and uptight

I take the opposite view: it's a preschool birthday party. Literally zero impact to skipping it, while sleep routines are important. And an exhausted toddler is not going to have a good time.

OP, your husband can go say hi, socialize, and bring a gift if that will smooth things over. But I'd keep the kid home. Likely your SIL won't care either way.

Tell me you aren’t close with your family/are “that” SIL without telling me…

On the other hand, if SIL wants to hold a weekday evening party for a preschooler, she should accept that some people might not be able to make it. Even if it's family.

+1. And to add the whole tell me … is so lame and tired.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its one night. I can't imagine going through life being this rigid and uptight

I take the opposite view: it's a preschool birthday party. Literally zero impact to skipping it, while sleep routines are important. And an exhausted toddler is not going to have a good time.

OP, your husband can go say hi, socialize, and bring a gift if that will smooth things over. But I'd keep the kid home. Likely your SIL won't care either way.

Tell me you aren’t close with your family/are “that” SIL without telling me…

On the other hand, if SIL wants to hold a weekday evening party for a preschooler, she should accept that some people might not be able to make it. Even if it's family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

+1

You really do need to think long and hard about the parenting road ahead of you, unless you want your family to be in turmoil for the next 20 years,

Because families are in turmoil for declining a bday party for a 4 year old. Drama queen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

I get where OP is coming from. If it wasn’t family, I would decline an evening birthday party since my 3yo is hit or miss on naps and by 7pm she would at peak drama and ready to tantrum at the least little thing. We’re morning people and socializing in the evening is rough on everyone. But it *is* family and clearly your DH thinks it’s important so I’d have him take her and be responsible for bedtime that night. It’s fine to have one late night where your child doesn’t bathe.

I think it’s clear that op does not like her SIL. I also think you are being unreasonable and very rigid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

+1

You really do need to think long and hard about the parenting road ahead of you, unless you want your family to be in turmoil for the next 20 years,

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

Anonymous wrote:You need to relax lady

+1 truly

Anonymous wrote:Some of you seem so difficult. Feed the kid before, let him run around for an hour, bow out when pizza is server at 7. Home by 730. Quick bath, read a couple books, bed by 815. There are so many work arounds between "not going" and "let me kid get hyped up on cake and ice cream at 8pm". Op seems like she wants to be difficult just to be difficult

Agreed. If it’s going to be so disruptive to go to bed a bit later (wouldn’t be for my kids but all kids are different) just make it work the best you can. And don’t be so dramatic about it.