Anonymous
Post 04/26/2023 15:56     Subject: How common is it to see large families that are completely estranged/very distant from each other
Anonymous wrote:I’m wondering how common it is to see large families that are completely estranged to very distant from each other. My husband has 3 siblings. None of them have seen or spoken to one another in five plus years. Apparently there was no falling out just not interested in each other/too busy in their own lives. They speak to their parents a few times a year but none of them have seen their parents in years even though they live an hour away. Multiple children/grandchildren have never seen their aunts/uncles and the grandparents have only ever seen 2 of the 8 grand children exactly once. One when was was 2 and another time when one child was already 5. The grandparents are not interested in seeing any of the grandkids and don’t want to be bothered with them. I was also told that the extended family is the same way and nobody really speaks to anybody. How common is this?


Families spread around the world tend to gradually grow apart, people care and connect but its just not the same.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2023 15:54     Subject: How common is it to see large families that are completely estranged/very distant from each other
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Common. Usually a 1 or 2 bad apples estrange themselves.


I have estranged myself because of sexual abuse. Does that make me a bad apple?


Abuser estranged themself.

To estrange: CAUSE someone to be no longer close or affectionate. To alienate. Antagonize. Disaffect.


DP. In my case my aunt and cousins were abusers but they live happy lives with or without me. They are the most selfish people I have met in my life. They treated me like their maid when I was a kid. I was taking care of their baby at 8 yrs old and the kid would spit on my food. When I told about it it was brushed off and told to eat. Also other things. BUt if I didn't estrange they'd still be around.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2023 15:51     Subject: How common is it to see large families that are completely estranged/very distant from each other
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm not white but most estrangement among some minorities happens because of money and Inheritance. Family members get greedy and want all of the house after grandma or whoever died to themselves. After that there's no trust and more anger and lawyers and bad feeling between our relatives.


I think this is also probably true for white families. Money can cause drama no matter the color of your skin


White people estrange by choice when they move to a city for more money.


POC tend to live in or very close to major cities so they get to live at home for free for years as an adult.


That's not by choice either. That income gap has a lot to do with it.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2023 15:26     Subject: How common is it to see large families that are completely estranged/very distant from each other
I'm about to go no contact with my siblings, who are profoundly dysfunctional and who dismiss my concerns. I dread gatherings with them. It never goes well from my perspective snd I spend days after asking myself why I thought that time would be any different than all the other bad times. Am I a jerk for wanting to stop doing things which hurt and upset me?
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2023 15:20     Subject: How common is it to see large families that are completely estranged/very distant from each other
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Common. Usually a 1 or 2 bad apples estrange themselves.


I have estranged myself because of sexual abuse. Does that make me a bad apple?


Cool snark.

No. You set boundaries.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2023 15:19     Subject: How common is it to see large families that are completely estranged/very distant from each other
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Common. Usually a 1 or 2 bad apples estrange themselves.


I have estranged myself because of sexual abuse. Does that make me a bad apple?


Abuser estranged themself.

To estrange: CAUSE someone to be no longer close or affectionate. To alienate. Antagonize. Disaffect.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2023 13:12     Subject: How common is it to see large families that are completely estranged/very distant from each other
Anonymous wrote:Common. Usually a 1 or 2 bad apples estrange themselves.


I have estranged myself because of sexual abuse. Does that make me a bad apple?
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2023 13:09     Subject: How common is it to see large families that are completely estranged/very distant from each other
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm not white but most estrangement among some minorities happens because of money and Inheritance. Family members get greedy and want all of the house after grandma or whoever died to themselves. After that there's no trust and more anger and lawyers and bad feeling between our relatives.


I think this is also probably true for white families. Money can cause drama no matter the color of your skin


White people estrange by choice when they move to a city for more money.


That’s a weird, and incorrect, take on anyone in the world moving.

Make sure to brainwash your young kids with it so they never go anywhere and stay right next to Mommy.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2023 12:53     Subject: Re:How common is it to see large families that are completely estranged/very distant from each other
Anonymous wrote:My family of 9 is estranged from each other. I am hoping that once my 96 year old mother dies good things will happen. She orchestrates this dysfunction by extreme lying, manipulation. There is definitely systemic mental illness. Only the good die young and she will live forever. It’s very very sad.

Back in the day Catholics could not get birth control. Women who were not mentally stable had many children and this resulted in a generation (baby boomers) of much abuse.


Nope. My grandma was 94 when she died, she did all of this too and her kids are not close, she did too much damage.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2023 12:51     Subject: How common is it to see large families that are completely estranged/very distant from each other
My parent who died in 2015 was the third of six children and the "connector" in that they had good relationships with everyone and that helped everyone have a relationship, stay in touch etc. Since their death the other five have barely communicated, some haven't spoken to each other at all, though they all keep in touch with me (which his how I know they aren't in touch).
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2023 12:11     Subject: How common is it to see large families that are completely estranged/very distant from each other
Anonymous wrote:I’m wondering how common it is to see large families that are completely estranged to very distant from each other. My husband has 3 siblings. None of them have seen or spoken to one another in five plus years. Apparently there was no falling out just not interested in each other/too busy in their own lives. They speak to their parents a few times a year but none of them have seen their parents in years even though they live an hour away. Multiple children/grandchildren have never seen their aunts/uncles and the grandparents have only ever seen 2 of the 8 grand children exactly once. One when was was 2 and another time when one child was already 5. The grandparents are not interested in seeing any of the grandkids and don’t want to be bothered with them. I was also told that the extended family is the same way and nobody really speaks to anybody. How common is this?
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2023 10:31     Subject: How common is it to see large families that are completely estranged/very distant from each other
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm not white but most estrangement among some minorities happens because of money and Inheritance. Family members get greedy and want all of the house after grandma or whoever died to themselves. After that there's no trust and more anger and lawyers and bad feeling between our relatives.


I think this is also probably true for white families. Money can cause drama no matter the color of your skin


White people estrange by choice when they move to a city for more money.


POC tend to live in or very close to major cities so they get to live at home for free for years as an adult.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2023 10:30     Subject: How common is it to see large families that are completely estranged/very distant from each other
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm not white but most estrangement among some minorities happens because of money and Inheritance. Family members get greedy and want all of the house after grandma or whoever died to themselves. After that there's no trust and more anger and lawyers and bad feeling between our relatives.


I think this is also probably true for white families. Money can cause drama no matter the color of your skin


White people estrange by choice when they move to a city for more money.


People of every race do that, racist.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2023 10:29     Subject: How common is it to see large families that are completely estranged/very distant from each other
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm not white but most estrangement among some minorities happens because of money and Inheritance. Family members get greedy and want all of the house after grandma or whoever died to themselves. After that there's no trust and more anger and lawyers and bad feeling between our relatives.


I think this is also probably true for white families. Money can cause drama no matter the color of your skin


White people estrange by choice when they move to a city for more money.


I wouldn’t consider moving out of your hometown as estrangement. Plenty of people move away for college and settle in cities, especially as young adults. This doesn’t mean they aren’t close with family
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2023 09:25     Subject: How common is it to see large families that are completely estranged/very distant from each other
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm not white but most estrangement among some minorities happens because of money and Inheritance. Family members get greedy and want all of the house after grandma or whoever died to themselves. After that there's no trust and more anger and lawyers and bad feeling between our relatives.


I think this is also probably true for white families. Money can cause drama no matter the color of your skin


White people estrange by choice when they move to a city for more money.