I would stop the shopping because it's a bad habit, but not so much because of one bad grade.

Haven’t you posted this before?

The whole consequences for bad grades is so 1980s. Leave her be.

Don’t take away things, put in things. If she needs some extra supports to do well in this class, then you add in extra study time or tutoring or other things to help her succeed academically. Adding in that will take time away from other things naturally, and that’s a consequence in and of itself. Teaching her to prioritize her time is a much more important skill than just whipping stuff away willy-nilly to punish.

Haven't read all replies yet but you said "A bad grade on a test" meaning just ONE bad grade. And that warrants punishment?

Personally I'd let one bad grade go as long as it didn't become a pattern. But if it's important for your DH to do something now, why not gently inquire what happened if this is not the norm for them. Maybe they had a bad day. Or found the material for this one test a little difficult. Let them know an occasional bad grade is not the end of the world, but make sure they recognize when they need additional help and the best way for them to proceed when they need it - whether it's help from mom and dad, going to academic support at school, or a tutor.

My kid would be a wreck if I were looking at every single grade he makes, scrutinizing, criticizing and punishing. We tell him as long as he makes his best effort, the grade doesn't matter.

Way too harsh.

Anonymous wrote:One test that she got a bad grade on? Big deal.

She’d get more of an education if you’d explain why she should not buy products from Shein. How does she explain how a trinket from China could only cost $1. She can research forced labor camps in Communist China where Muslim populations are forced into ghettos and produce products for no pay.

Other factories employees make 4 cents for every piece of clothing they make. Most work 7 days a week, 12 hour shifts.

China denies this like everything but undercover investigations have confirmed these as facts.

Help teach her how the world works instead of being obsessed wit
h grades.

Agree with this.
Have her use Internet time to research fast fashion.
Take her shopping at a thrift store. She'll find a shipping diff there and there will be a lot of fast fashion items, but at least not buying new helps slow the demand.

I never punished for a bad grade.

Anonymous wrote:I cannot imagine punishing a child over grades. Makes no sense. If they struggle, you find a way to help them improve, which may include finding ways to help them focus on studying, like a screen free environment until work is done. Don't frame that as "punishment" or taking away something.

Punishment is such an unbelieveably bad and counterproductive move for mental health in this context.

It doesn’t have to be “struggle.” It can be laziness and lack of effort. I’m quite certain if OP’e kid had a learning disability that affected her ability to make good grades, she would have told us.

Anonymous wrote:Her online shopping is a terrible habit and should be stopped. She needs to be able to pass time without spending money. Having nothing to do with her grades.

+1,000. Find more constructive ways to get her dopamine hit than Wish and especially Shein, which is a terrible company exploiting workers.

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn’t he spend some time speaking with her about her grade instead of thinking of ding dong ways to make her feel bad?

Hi, “ding dong” poster. We’re not in 3rd grade, so no one says “ding dong” anymore. Please join the rest of us in adulthood.

What OP’s husband is doing is called consequences and parenting. You should try it sometime.

Cut back on the junk shopping because it's a nasty habit that will get worse when she starts earning and wasting real money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is wish and Shein? This posts makes no sense but if she got bad grades then yes cut her shopping.

Okay, I'm old and prefer shopping in-person but the post makes no sense because you don't know the e- commerce sites in the post? Don't you ever look anything up? Let me introduce you to another popular site: Google.

A bad grade is the culmination of a series of different choices. I wouldn't discipline yet, but I'd be in her business to see how her time breaks down and how she is targeting the classes she is taking. Maybe this classes is just beyond what she can do naturally and she needs your help to figure out how to tackle it.

Your DH's approach reminds me of my dad. No help just threats.

Hey smartpants I did look it up here is what I got:

temu.com
Temu Official Site - Free Shipping & Free Return

shein.com
SHEIN Official Site - Up to 85% Off

https://us.shein.com
https://us.shein.com › Women-Clothing-c-2030.html

https://www.cnn.com › 2023 › 04 › 23 › tech › temu-shein-us-concerns-intl-hnk › index.html

https://techcrunch.com › 2023 › 04 › 18 › shein-temu-us-scrutiny


NONE of these look like what you are talking about. Nothing says: "wish and Shein"

Still instead of explaining it you wanted to be rude and wrote 3 paragarphics of nonsense instead of explaining it. THAT makes total SENSE.

back at you
The last 2 paragraphs were for OP. Maybe that's why they don’t make sense to you.

Wish is an e commerce site.
Shein is a different e commerce site.
You were so close.

It’s a bad habit that should be squashed on that basis alone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is wish and Shein? This posts makes no sense but if she got bad grades then yes cut her shopping.

Okay, I'm old and prefer shopping in-person but the post makes no sense because you don't know the e- commerce sites in the post? Don't you ever look anything up? Let me introduce you to another popular site: Google.

A bad grade is the culmination of a series of different choices. I wouldn't discipline yet, but I'd be in her business to see how her time breaks down and how she is targeting the classes she is taking. Maybe this classes is just beyond what she can do naturally and she needs your help to figure out how to tackle it.

Your DH's approach reminds me of my dad. No help just threats.

Hey smartpants I did look it up here is what I got:

temu.com
Temu Official Site - Free Shipping & Free Return

shein.com
SHEIN Official Site - Up to 85% Off

https://us.shein.com
https://us.shein.com › Women-Clothing-c-2030.html

https://www.cnn.com › 2023 › 04 › 23 › tech › temu-shein-us-concerns-intl-hnk › index.html

https://techcrunch.com › 2023 › 04 › 18 › shein-temu-us-scrutiny


NONE of these look like what you are talking about. Nothing says: "wish and Shein"

Still instead of explaining it you wanted to be rude and wrote 3 paragarphics of nonsense instead of explaining it. THAT makes total SENSE.