If you are 40 or over, I’d suggest the following, as its so much harder when you don’t know wtf is going when it starts happening:

What Fresh Hell Is This?: Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities, and You by Heather Corinna: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/55737894

The Menopause Manifesto: Own Your Health with Facts and Feminism by Jennifer Gunter: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/55272232

Midlife: A Philosophical Guide by Kieran Setiya

The Rum Diaries

Anonymous wrote:OP here and thank you for suggestions so far! Making a list for summer reading.

Also, in my googling on this I came across this website: http://booksastherapy.com

Added Ecco Homo by Nietzsche and A Scattering (poems) by Christopher Reid. Thought I'd share in case anyone else is using this thread as a resource.

Oh haha - Nietzsche for a midlife crisis! Please come back and tell us how that goes. I would actually read a memoir or novel about someone reading Nietzsche to get through a midlife crisis.

I really enjoyed The Change by Kirsten Miller, after seeing it recommended here. A group of middle aged women with spooky powers uncover, then avenge, the killing of some girls.

If you want meno-fiction instead of middle aged, I LOVED Killers Of A Certain Age, about a bunch of retired hit women who have to figure out, and stop, whoever is trying to assassinate them.

Here are a few I've read recently and enjoyed. I've tried to include a little info about why I'm recommending them.

I Have Some Questions For You by Rebecca Makkai
A podcaster returns to her boarding school/high school to teach a class and ends up investigating a case from her days there as a student--murder of a classmate. I liked the way the main character revisited certain things that were accepted without question as a teen. I really like Makkai and found this book to be nuanced with flawed characters ... which I happen to love.

Pineapple Street by Jenny Jackson
This takes place in Brooklyn Heights and basically examines multigenerational wealth through a few different POVs.

Goodbye Phone, Hello World by Paul Greenberg
Some ideas on being without your phone and why it's important to do so.

Station Eleven or Sea of Tranquility by Emily St. John Mandel (if you read both, I'd read them in this order)
I really love St. John as a storyteller and the way her books seem to slip around in time and from one POV to another.

The Bookshop Around The Corner by Jenny Colgan
This is honestly like the biggest hug in book form. A librarian moves to rural Scotland to find herself/open a bookshop.

The Candy House by Jennifer Egan
Another moving around in time/place/POV exploring the idea of memory ... in the book you can externalize your memories and share them with others (and experience their memories too).

Outlierrs - Malcolm Glad well. He has other books that are on my list: Tipping Point & Blink.

I’ve ready many of the novels on this thread and enjoyed them immensely.

I think someone upthread dismissed fiction as “escapist,” especially compared to non-fiction, but I respectfully disagree. I find I learn and reflect a quite a bit when I connect with a fictional character. Even one who seems nothing like me … eventually the empathy and connection kicks in and I can see myself/my life/the people in my life a bit differently, which is wonderful!

Lately, I’ve been a fan of the midlife-woman-losing-her-$hit-in-weirdly-zany-ways type of novels.

For example, I loved “Where’d You Go Bernadette” and her later book, “Tomorrow Will Be Different” (hilarious on audio!!)

I also really liked Laura Zigman’s most recent books - Separation Anxiety (the one where the mom takes to wearing her dog in a Baby Bjorn! 😂) and Small World.

Finally, I highly recommend Wayward, by Dana Spiotta! She’s a great writer, and the book just rang so true re some of my midlife feelings/impulses/roller coasters. (Also, I think I read it mid-Covid, when I REALLY wanted to flee my confinement, so that resonated, too.)

Would love to hear other ideas of novels like this with midlife characters who are falling apart a bit on the road to putting themselves back together anew. Male main characters are great, too - a good book is a good book!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This Time Tomorrow by Emma Straub

If you could go back in time and make different decisions, would you? That question is at the center of Emma Straub’s big-hearted new novel, This Time Tomorrow. The protagonist, Alice, drunkenly falls asleep on her 40th birthday and wakes up in her childhood bedroom on her 16th birthday. She’s wistful about carefree days with her best friend and the teen boy who got away, but blown away by her youthful, healthy father, and an opportunity to change his life nearly 25 years later. This novel is a sweet take on the passing of time, the power of relationships, the misguided rush to adulthood, and the pressure to achieve arbitrary milestones in life. The time travel never feels gimmicky, and ‘80s kids will appreciate the references to Back to the Future. It’s breezy, yet smart—check it out for your next book club pick!

that's basically Peggy Sue Got Married in book form

Lol. I can see how you’d say that, but it’s completely different in style and tone. I found it sweeter and more moving knowing that Emma Straub’s father (the author, Peter Straub) is woven into the story in various ways. It’s light chick lit on one level but I found the father/daughter piece to be quite touching.

Anonymous wrote:

A book I read a couple years ago was called "Calling Invisible Women". This woman slowly turns invisible and her family doesn't even notice.

I really liked this novel! It’s not as dark as it sounds - I remember there being sone lightness and humor, too. PLUS the author (Jeanne Ray) is Ann Patchett’s mother (and a bit of a character in her Ian right if I remember Patchett’s essays about her correctly.) Clearly, talent runs in the family!

Speaking of Ann Patchett’s, I highly recommend her book of essays, “This is the Story of a Happy Marriage.” The book is a collection of essays she wrote at different stages of life (and about disparate topics), but they’re all fabulously written and thought-provoking. The title essay (… Happy Marriage) is wonderful and complex. Not at all sappy or dopey like the title may suggest. (I especially enjoyed this book on audio. I feel like I got a real sense of Patchett’s brittle/cranky side, which only enhanced the essays!)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's Ladder of Years. I reread it this winter and found myself even more moved by the middle of it (when she's living on the Eastern Shore by herself) than when I read it last.

I am someone who rereads favorite books. and I often return to Anne Tyler when I'm not sure what else to read. Like the other poster, I would recommend Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant and The Accidental Tourist as well. A Spool of Blue Thread, Saint Maybe, and A Patchwork Planet are also amazing and maybe not as well known as some of her others.

I also liked her recent "Redhead by the side of the road"
I read an interview with Anne Tyler who said that despite all her kids having grown up and moved away, her husband having passed about a decade ago, she still has fantasies about walking out of her life and starting again, living alone, and she is already living alone.

Interesting! So the fantasies are more about starting fresh and escaping something other than people. Kind of like in my life when I've assumed my discontent was work related but in hindsight realize it was easier to use work as the reason than it was to admit to myself that it was a personal relationship and not work that was causing my issues.

Anonymous wrote:That's Ladder of Years. I reread it this winter and found myself even more moved by the middle of it (when she's living on the Eastern Shore by herself) than when I read it last.

I am someone who rereads favorite books. and I often return to Anne Tyler when I'm not sure what else to read. Like the other poster, I would recommend Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant and The Accidental Tourist as well. A Spool of Blue Thread, Saint Maybe, and A Patchwork Planet are also amazing and maybe not as well known as some of her others.

I also liked her recent "Redhead by the side of the road"
I read an interview with Anne Tyler who said that despite all her kids having grown up and moved away, her husband having passed about a decade ago, she still has fantasies about walking out of her life and starting again, living alone, and she is already living alone.

Anonymous wrote:Midnight library by Matt haig

Woman gets to live out all her alternate realities to see the choices she regrets and how they might have played out

This book is excellent. Truly one of my favorites... made me think and really stuck with me.

+1 to What Alice Forgot, Lessons In Chemistry
Adding- Remarkabely Bright Creatures, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

That's Ladder of Years. I reread it this winter and found myself even more moved by the middle of it (when she's living on the Eastern Shore by herself) than when I read it last.

I am someone who rereads favorite books. and I often return to Anne Tyler when I'm not sure what else to read. Like the other poster, I would recommend Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant and The Accidental Tourist as well. A Spool of Blue Thread, Saint Maybe, and A Patchwork Planet are also amazing and maybe not as well known as some of her others.

Wrong Place Wrong Time is a recent book that has gotten a lot of good praise on DCUM including from me.

Not quite the same, but the main character is the mom of a teen boy who gets to go back in time at different points in her life and she sees things differently knowing what she knows now and reflects a lot on her choices etc.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I read religious books when I went through this -- like books on Buddhism and Hinduism, to learn new perspectives on life. I found them incredibly helpful.

Any specific titles you can recommend? Sounds interesting.