Agree with the PP who said it is an oddly framed question.
I think OP is trying to justify having given up a job during the preschool daycare years. To her, expenses paid to daycare or schools = "Money Lost Each Year."
But that's the wrong framing, and the wrong math.....
The better question is, How much did you gain monetarily over the length of your career by staying in your career, while leveraging daycare, paid preschool, or nannies to support child rearing during the early years.

About $160K/year not including compounding and years towards promotion

This is a weird framing. Are you asking how much we spent on childcare and related expenses?

I guess there are tax consequences and stuff but to rough it out:

Daycare was around $2k/month for each kid (I have 2, 3 years apart), for four years until PK3. So, $192,000 over 7 years. During that time I made about $175,000/year (less at the start, more at the end), so by spending that $192,000, I was able to make around $1.2m.

I still spend around $800/month now for aftercare and days-off care for both kids, FWIW. But again, that enables me to make much more than I spend.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot, but I paid into social security, carried our healthcare insurance, built my career.

I make a lot of money now and that could never have happened had I left the workforce.

this is a good point. Rank improved. Salary went up. Promotion occurred. Position remained. All while working…

I came here to say this. When my first was born I made 55k/yr. By the time he was 5 I was making 110k, that same kid is 16 and I just filed my return and I made 323k last year.

Not to mention I have always maxed out my 401k after 20 solid years of contributions without interruption I have over 1M saved in retirement. Ad I take a break everything related to career would have taken a hit and the lifetime financial loss would be tremendous.

We didn't lose any money. We were able to cover the cost of day care from our salaries the entire time both of our children were in day care. We also contributed to Social Security and to our 401Ks and received the matching contribution from our employers, so we actually made money, and with compounding interest that will be worth a lot over time.

Our daycare is very pricey at 39k... even if you only made 50k you'd still be coming out ahead.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never believed that any part of my job or benefits or resume is more important than the time I spent with my infant and toddler children.

No one thinks their job or benefits is more valuable than their kids. People do however make strategic choices about their jobs in order to care well for their children over the long term.

I do. I have an identity and career that is separate from my children and I had no desire to stay home with them. I love them and I love spending time together, but I also love my job. My kids are with me full time for 20ish years. My marriage and career will last longer and I think it’s important to invest in those as well. I had 16 weeks paid with each child and I took it, but I was mentally and physically ready to go back at 10 weeks.

Thank you for your honest feedback!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really hate when I hear people say it made sense to stay home because their salary was less than daycare cost. The is a myopic view that overlooks the lifetime compounding effects of raises, retirement contributions, etc. and the impacts of time out of the labor market on long-term earnings and career trajectories. Not to mention for some the mental health benefits of having time away from kids and something else to focus on. If you exit the labor market because you want to stay home with your kids, that's fine. But be realistic about the reasons and the tradeoffs.

I'm the poster who turned down a 112k job. Clearly I could have paid for daycare, but with my spouse essentially unavailable for regular dropoffs or pickups, I didn't think that amount of money was worth it to have my kids in daycare for 10 or 11 hours a day, 5 days a week. There's sometimes more to life than money.

Sometimes. It’s all about trade offs. You may or may not get the opportunity to make that kind of money again. It may or may not matter to you because of what your spouse makes.

But one thing remains true - the longer you’re out of the workforce, the harder it is to get back in at any level. Maybe it works out and your spouse earns enough to carry you through retirement, maybe it doesn’t and you find yourself back at work in an entry level gig at 55. Most people don’t regret the time they spent with their families, but people do kick themselves for not looking out better for their interests all the time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot, but I paid into social security, carried our healthcare insurance, built my career.

I make a lot of money now and that could never have happened had I left the workforce.

this is a good point. Rank improved. Salary went up. Promotion occurred. Position remained. All while working…

Same. My salary went from $110k to $170k in the 5 preschool years. Plus SS, retirement, building seniority that allows me to have flexibility I need now that they're in elementary school. If you WANT to stay home, that's great! But you can't really evaluate the trade off of doing so without considering these other factors.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never believed that any part of my job or benefits or resume is more important than the time I spent with my infant and toddler children.

No one thinks their job or benefits is more valuable than their kids. People do however make strategic choices about their jobs in order to care well for their children over the long term.

I do. I have an identity and career that is separate from my children and I had no desire to stay home with them. I love them and I love spending time together, but I also love my job. My kids are with me full time for 20ish years. My marriage and career will last longer and I think it’s important to invest in those as well. I had 16 weeks paid with each child and I took it, but I was mentally and physically ready to go back at 10 weeks.

Anonymous wrote:I really hate when I hear people say it made sense to stay home because their salary was less than daycare cost. The is a myopic view that overlooks the lifetime compounding effects of raises, retirement contributions, etc. and the impacts of time out of the labor market on long-term earnings and career trajectories. Not to mention for some the mental health benefits of having time away from kids and something else to focus on. If you exit the labor market because you want to stay home with your kids, that's fine. But be realistic about the reasons and the tradeoffs.

I'm the poster who turned down a 112k job. Clearly I could have paid for daycare, but with my spouse essentially unavailable for regular dropoffs or pickups, I didn't think that amount of money was worth it to have my kids in daycare for 10 or 11 hours a day, 5 days a week. There's sometimes more to life than money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never believed that any part of my job or benefits or resume is more important than the time I spent with my infant and toddler children.

No one thinks their job or benefits is more valuable than their kids. People do however make strategic choices about their jobs in order to care well for their children over the long term.

Of course, and it is often a tough decision with many factors to consider. It's not the kids that are more valuable however, it's that time with them that there was not enough pay or benefits for me to choose over spending that time with them.

Again, strategic choices and long term planning, fo many of us.

I worked for a company with a dedicated onsite daycare just for company employees. It was subsidized by the company too. So while we paid daycare it was not exorbitant by any means and we could leave company meetings for the Halloween parade, xmas, half day field trips etc. it bonded the working parents at the HQ of 3000 employees or so and we loved it. It was the best of both worlds.

We didn’t lose money, but we also weren’t coming our way ahead. But I also didn’t deduct it from just my salary because we don’t allocate any other bills toward just one person’s income. Our HHI is so much higher now that it would have been had I left the workforce so it was worth it overall.

I purchased a small business as a widowed parent and sent my daughter to a high quality Montessori preschool. Between the payments to the business and daycare fees it actually COST me money to go to work each day. But when she was in full day kindergarten and the business was paid off, I started to make some decent gains. The business was structured that I was ultimately able to volunteer in classrooms, take kids to afterschool activities, and have a good work/life balance.

Had I not taken this risk, my family would have less financial security today. The successful business I built up has afforded us a very pleasant lifestyle. I'm close to sending my last child to college. I'm glad I looked at the big picture.