Anonymous
04/16/2023 15:48
Subject: DD struggling in AP Lang too late to drop or change class
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Ugh.
Here is the problem with MCPS.
The grading system, ParentVue, etc, doesn't work well enough for parents to be able to see if kids are turning in assignments on time.
In addition, most teachers just let kids skate and if they don't turn in assignments, oh well, that's on them! THey will just get a D.
So the kids are not held accountable.
And yes, ideally, kids are organized enough to stay on top of their work and be diligent and turn it all in on their own.
But they are kids!
Personally I think MCPS needs a better system that shows what is due and when and whether they have been turned in. Kids should get a couple days grace period and if it hasn't been turned in by the deadline, an email automatically goes out to parents and kid. Kid has two days to turn in assignment but has a few points taken off.
When I was in school,. you had to turn your assignments in in person. The teacher would say, turn your assignment in, she would count them, and if yours wasn't there, she would publically shame you by asking you why you had not turned your assignment in. Parents would be called.
Now teachers are just like, whatever. And the parents can't figure out because the system doesn't update well!
How tuned in are you to the current conversations in education?
Publicly shaming kids is not something that would go down well in the current climate.
Teachers have to give up because if they hold to hard and fast rules and standards, they get pummeled by entitled parents and kids who lobby and argue for extensions, passes and grace. This is not on the teachers.
It's on us as parents, because the system has gotten that way because we've allowed the loudest voices in the room to drive our education system. When a teacher gives our kids a bad grade, we're the first to cry about how unfair it is. When our kid fails to turn in an assignment, we're quick to ask how many times the teacher told or reminded our kid about the assignment before they failed.
As a matter of fact, we have complained so much that MCPS makes it harder for kids to even fail with the automatic 50% rule. So yeah, this is on us as parents in large part.
The other part of it is driven by misguided educators and administrators who have twisted and warped antiracism and equity principles into lax standards and decided to treat words like "discipline" and "accountability" as dirty and oppressive.
PUblically shame were the wrong words to use. But I see nothing wrong with a teacher saying, "Larlo, I am missing your assignment. Do you have it today?" And when Larlo says no, say, "WHy not and when are you going to turn it in?"
You did not address my comment about ParentVue not working well enough. Parents CANT see if their kids are behind because the tech doesn't work well enough. I have worked in education at both the high school and graduate school level, teaching and adminstering. There is no reason why parents shouldn't be able to see what assignments are due when and whether they have been turned in or not.
MCPS does not hold kids accountable to turning in their work AND it does not give parents the tools to over see whether their kids are turning things in. That is a problem that could be easily solved by the proposed system I lay out above.
I would say giving the student a D is holding her accountable.
College professors don’t call mom and dad when things aren’t turned in on time, or a kid doesn’t show up for class.
Forget not parenting. You don’t have any insight at all into grades or whether things are turned in unless you kid tells you. Fist year of college, my kids were required to send me a screenshot of their midterm grades in each class and show me final grades (they are both ADHD). They did fine, so after that, just final grades. But it’s a black box compared to HS.
Anonymous
04/16/2023 15:45
Subject: DD struggling in AP Lang too late to drop or change class
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Thanks. We have the free tutor and now are getting Varsity tutors too. She has not turned in a few assignments and is timid to ask teacher for rewrites /help (severe social anxiety—seeing a therapist). She is reaching out to teacher via email tonight. We have spoken with teacher via email about social anxiety issue related to class).
Will the exam Not affect her grade? I thought the same, fix the grade don’t worry about the exam but her counselor told me she was not sure if exam did not count toward grade?
Thanks for advice.
This is ridiculous. Of course she has a D if she hasn’t turned things in. Why are you just throwing up your hands and saying “social anxiety?” Help her get it together. Both of you go meet with the teacher and get a plan together to fix it. Don’t just stand around playing stupid while your daughter fails.
+1. Don't diagnose, instill self discipline.
Mom can’t diagnose. But all the self discipline in the world will only backfire if she genuinely has social anxiety or ADHD. A better message is, make greeting her an actual diagnosis and treatment a priority. Then you can request a 504 if one is appropriate.
Anonymous
04/16/2023 15:42
Subject: DD struggling in AP Lang too late to drop or change class
Anonymous wrote:Thanks. We have the free tutor and now are getting Varsity tutors too. She has not turned in a few assignments and is timid to ask teacher for rewrites /help (severe social anxiety—seeing a therapist). She is reaching out to teacher via email tonight. We have spoken with teacher via email about social anxiety issue related to class).
Will the exam Not affect her grade? I thought the same, fix the grade don’t worry about the exam but her counselor told me she was not sure if exam did not count toward grade?
Thanks for advice.
Maybe? My kid did have 2 AP classes (out of 12) where the teacher said : if you get a 5 you get an A (same teacher). But that is unusual, and I’m not sure it was kosher. Anyway, You can’t cram for an AP Lang exam. You can either write well or you can’t. And poor writing skills can’t be solved in 3 weeks. Plus, you don’t have to report the score. And a 5 with a D isn’t going to be as much help as you think. A D says: GPAs talent, doesn’t work hard.
You’re in a tough place. My DD also had social anxiety. And we started working on self advocacy in MS. And it started with her sitting in her therapists office with tears running down her face trying to construct an email. Now she’s in college and mentioning how she dropped by a professors office to discuss a summer program option and get a course override like it’s nothing. If your DD isn’t working with a therapist and considering medication, please consider these options. If she can’t self advocate in college it’s going to be bad.
I think most teachers want their students to succeed. And almost no teachers want to be the one grade that sinks a good student in college admissions. But, they know that not holding your kid accountable now hurts them later. My DD did best when the message was: I screwed up. I have looked at why and can see that I have have not done the revisions I should have. I know full credit is no longer possible. But, if I make up the work now, is it possible to do damage control on my grade? And help her email if she’s intimidated. Self advocacy is built one block at a time.
Now, if she can’t or won’t do the revisions, I don’t think DCUM can help.
Anonymous
04/16/2023 14:19
Subject: DD struggling in AP Lang too late to drop or change class
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Thanks. We have the free tutor and now are getting Varsity tutors too. She has not turned in a few assignments and is timid to ask teacher for rewrites /help (severe social anxiety—seeing a therapist). She is reaching out to teacher via email tonight. We have spoken with teacher via email about social anxiety issue related to class).
Will the exam Not affect her grade? I thought the same, fix the grade don’t worry about the exam but her counselor told me she was not sure if exam did not count toward grade?
Thanks for advice.
This is ridiculous. Of course she has a D if she hasn’t turned things in. Why are you just throwing up your hands and saying “social anxiety?” Help her get it together. Both of you go meet with the teacher and get a plan together to fix it. Don’t just stand around playing stupid while your daughter fails.
+1. Don't diagnose, instill self discipline.
Maybe you can explain how the OP is supposed to "instill self-discipline" into a junior in high school who is not turning in assignments due to diagnosed severe social anxiety?
OP didn’t say the assignments weren’t turned in due to anxiety, but that the kid is having trouble approaching teacher for help due to anxiety. My anxious kid is also terrible about talking to teacher for help, and yes, we all recognize that it’s a huge problem and working on it, but he’s not there yet, at all.
Then as a parent you step in and talk to the teacher.
Anonymous
04/16/2023 14:17
Subject: DD struggling in AP Lang too late to drop or change class
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Thanks. We have the free tutor and now are getting Varsity tutors too. She has not turned in a few assignments and is timid to ask teacher for rewrites /help (severe social anxiety—seeing a therapist). She is reaching out to teacher via email tonight. We have spoken with teacher via email about social anxiety issue related to class).
Will the exam Not affect her grade? I thought the same, fix the grade don’t worry about the exam but her counselor told me she was not sure if exam did not count toward grade?
Thanks for advice.
This is ridiculous. Of course she has a D if she hasn’t turned things in. Why are you just throwing up your hands and saying “social anxiety?” Help her get it together. Both of you go meet with the teacher and get a plan together to fix it. Don’t just stand around playing stupid while your daughter fails.
+1. Don't diagnose, instill self discipline.
Maybe you can explain how the OP is supposed to "instill self-discipline" into a junior in high school who is not turning in assignments due to diagnosed severe social anxiety?
I’m guessing the assignment wasn’t completed. I think OP’s daughter is in over her head and is probably experiencing some paralysis because of her anxiety.
Without knowing OP’s home environment, my suggestion is to tighten up at home. Take phones away during homework and sleeping time. Sit with her while she does her homework, to make sure it’s getting done. At the beginning of the week, review projects and deadlines and come up with smaller deadlines for the bigger projects (outline by X, first draft by y, meet with the teacher and revise by Z, etc). Get her a project planner for this. Basically show her how to be disciplined, so she learns those skills. And not just for the next month. You should plan on doing this in the fall as well.
How old is your child, and what is your professional background in mental health issues?
The pp had solid advice. I have a kid with anxiety and she often needs a push to get out of that zone of discomfort, so yeah--I would also take away the phone and sit down and problem solve. How is this controversial to you? Should we just throw up our hands when there's a diagnosis and say "oh well, now they don't have to learn!"
Anonymous
04/16/2023 14:17
Subject: DD struggling in AP Lang too late to drop or change class
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:mAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Thanks. We have the free tutor and now are getting Varsity tutors too. She has not turned in a few assignments and is timid to ask teacher for rewrites /help (severe social anxiety—seeing a therapist). She is reaching out to teacher via email tonight. We have spoken with teacher via email about social anxiety issue related to class).
Will the exam Not affect her grade? I thought the same, fix the grade don’t worry about the exam but her counselor told me she was not sure if exam did not count toward grade?
Thanks for advice.
This is ridiculous. Of course she has a D if she hasn’t turned things in. Why are you just throwing up your hands and saying “social anxiety?” Help her get it together. Both of you go meet with the teacher and get a plan together to fix it. Don’t just stand around playing stupid while your daughter fails.
+1. Don't diagnose, instill self discipline.
Maybe you can explain how the OP is supposed to "instill self-discipline" into a junior in high school who is not turning in assignments due to diagnosed severe social anxiety?
In fact post stated she was Not a mental health professional . However I do agree with tips on management etc. —OP
I’m guessing the assignment wasn’t completed. I think OP’s daughter is in over her head and is probably experiencing some paralysis because of her anxiety.
Without knowing OP’s home environment, my suggestion is to tighten up at home. Take phones away during homework and sleeping time. Sit with her while she does her homework, to make sure it’s getting done. At the beginning of the week, review projects and deadlines and come up with smaller deadlines for the bigger projects (outline by X, first draft by y, meet with the teacher and revise by Z, etc). Get her a project planner for this. Basically show her how to be disciplined, so she learns those skills. And not just for the next month. You should plan on doing this in the fall as well.
How old is your child, and what is your professional background in mental health issues?
20, 18, and 10. I have been through this with my 20 year old. I am not a mental health professional, and suggest OP seek treatment for that as well. I struggle with anxiety myself, and have felt the paralysis to get projects started/finished. But mental health issues don’t preclude learning good study/time management/project management skills. Especially for a kid who is college-bound.
In fact, OP's child is in therapy!
Mental health issues certainly can preclude learning good study/time management/project management skills, just like physical health issues can preclude learning skills like walking, riding a bike, or driving a car.
I notice that you ignored the post from the actual mental health professional above. No, anxiety does not preclude learning study and time management skills, in fact they are critical.
Anonymous
04/16/2023 14:15
Subject: DD struggling in AP Lang too late to drop or change class
Overwhelmed and the pandemic did affect her socially, coming out slowly on the other side of that (therapist, possible need for medication seeing specialist this week). We are having her sit down here to get things done. She never has her phone at night. Has a new tutor. Is now emailing and trying to meet with teacher.
Thanks most for the positive helpful tips and understanding.
Thanks most for the positive helpful tips and understanding.
Anonymous
04/16/2023 14:11
Subject: DD struggling in AP Lang too late to drop or change class
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Thanks. We have the free tutor and now are getting Varsity tutors too. She has not turned in a few assignments and is timid to ask teacher for rewrites /help (severe social anxiety—seeing a therapist). She is reaching out to teacher via email tonight. We have spoken with teacher via email about social anxiety issue related to class).
Will the exam Not affect her grade? I thought the same, fix the grade don’t worry about the exam but her counselor told me she was not sure if exam did not count toward grade?
Thanks for advice.
This is ridiculous. Of course she has a D if she hasn’t turned things in. Why are you just throwing up your hands and saying “social anxiety?” Help her get it together. Both of you go meet with the teacher and get a plan together to fix it. Don’t just stand around playing stupid while your daughter fails.
My DC high school student had a D in a non-AP class for a short period of time. She didn’t complete several homework assignments, got behind, and did poorly on a test. We sat her down and required her to turn in the work she had missed (I can’t remember whether she got credit for it or not; we made it clear that didn’t matter, and we were requiring her to complete the work).
I agree with PP who suggested tightening up at home. We had to monitor our DD more closely than I imagined a HS student would need. She sat in front of me to do her homework and did not have access to her phone at home if it was a school night and her homework wasn’t done. She brought that D up to a B, though. Our expectation of our kids is that schoolwork is completed on time to the best of their abilities. That might translate into different grades in different courses, but turning work in is non-negotiable.
OP, I’m not clear on why your junior (?) in an AP class is not even attempting assignments. That would concern me more than the grade or the AP test score. Have you asked her? Is she overwhelmed with workload in her other classes? Trying to manage a demanding course load with long hours at sports practice? Worried about college?
Anonymous
04/16/2023 13:17
Subject: DD struggling in AP Lang too late to drop or change class
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Thanks. We have the free tutor and now are getting Varsity tutors too. She has not turned in a few assignments and is timid to ask teacher for rewrites /help (severe social anxiety—seeing a therapist). She is reaching out to teacher via email tonight. We have spoken with teacher via email about social anxiety issue related to class).
Will the exam Not affect her grade? I thought the same, fix the grade don’t worry about the exam but her counselor told me she was not sure if exam did not count toward grade?
Thanks for advice.
This is ridiculous. Of course she has a D if she hasn’t turned things in. Why are you just throwing up your hands and saying “social anxiety?” Help her get it together. Both of you go meet with the teacher and get a plan together to fix it. Don’t just stand around playing stupid while your daughter fails.
+1. Don't diagnose, instill self discipline.
Maybe you can explain how the OP is supposed to "instill self-discipline" into a junior in high school who is not turning in assignments due to diagnosed severe social anxiety?
I’m guessing the assignment wasn’t completed. I think OP’s daughter is in over her head and is probably experiencing some paralysis because of her anxiety.
Without knowing OP’s home environment, my suggestion is to tighten up at home. Take phones away during homework and sleeping time. Sit with her while she does her homework, to make sure it’s getting done. At the beginning of the week, review projects and deadlines and come up with smaller deadlines for the bigger projects (outline by X, first draft by y, meet with the teacher and revise by Z, etc). Get her a project planner for this. Basically show her how to be disciplined, so she learns those skills. And not just for the next month. You should plan on doing this in the fall as well.
How old is your child, and what is your professional background in mental health issues?
20, 18, and 10. I have been through this with my 20 year old. I am not a mental health professional, and suggest OP seek treatment for that as well. I struggle with anxiety myself, and have felt the paralysis to get projects started/finished. But mental health issues don’t preclude learning good study/time management/project management skills. Especially for a kid who is college-bound.
In fact, OP's child is in therapy!
Mental health issues certainly can preclude learning good study/time management/project management skills, just like physical health issues can preclude learning skills like walking, riding a bike, or driving a car.
I notice that you ignored the post from the actual mental health professional above. No, anxiety does not preclude learning study and time management skills, in fact they are critical.
Anonymous
04/15/2023 16:21
Subject: DD struggling in AP Lang too late to drop or change class
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Thanks. We have the free tutor and now are getting Varsity tutors too. She has not turned in a few assignments and is timid to ask teacher for rewrites /help (severe social anxiety—seeing a therapist). She is reaching out to teacher via email tonight. We have spoken with teacher via email about social anxiety issue related to class).
Will the exam Not affect her grade? I thought the same, fix the grade don’t worry about the exam but her counselor told me she was not sure if exam did not count toward grade?
Thanks for advice.
This is ridiculous. Of course she has a D if she hasn’t turned things in. Why are you just throwing up your hands and saying “social anxiety?” Help her get it together. Both of you go meet with the teacher and get a plan together to fix it. Don’t just stand around playing stupid while your daughter fails.
+1. Don't diagnose, instill self discipline.
IKR! Just make her read it anyway! Who cares if she's blind!
You do realize that blind people also attend school and read books? Don’t be offensive to others in your rush to internet argue with a stranger,
Hyperbole: a rhetorical device (they teach that stuff in English), used to point out the absurdity of "don't diagnose, instill self discipline" as if that's all anyone needs, including an undiagnosed blind student.
Anonymous
04/15/2023 11:09
Subject: DD struggling in AP Lang too late to drop or change class
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Thanks. We have the free tutor and now are getting Varsity tutors too. She has not turned in a few assignments and is timid to ask teacher for rewrites /help (severe social anxiety—seeing a therapist). She is reaching out to teacher via email tonight. We have spoken with teacher via email about social anxiety issue related to class).
Will the exam Not affect her grade? I thought the same, fix the grade don’t worry about the exam but her counselor told me she was not sure if exam did not count toward grade?
Thanks for advice.
This is ridiculous. Of course she has a D if she hasn’t turned things in. Why are you just throwing up your hands and saying “social anxiety?” Help her get it together. Both of you go meet with the teacher and get a plan together to fix it. Don’t just stand around playing stupid while your daughter fails.
+1. Don't diagnose, instill self discipline.
Maybe you can explain how the OP is supposed to "instill self-discipline" into a junior in high school who is not turning in assignments due to diagnosed severe social anxiety?
I’m guessing the assignment wasn’t completed. I think OP’s daughter is in over her head and is probably experiencing some paralysis because of her anxiety.
Without knowing OP’s home environment, my suggestion is to tighten up at home. Take phones away during homework and sleeping time. Sit with her while she does her homework, to make sure it’s getting done. At the beginning of the week, review projects and deadlines and come up with smaller deadlines for the bigger projects (outline by X, first draft by y, meet with the teacher and revise by Z, etc). Get her a project planner for this. Basically show her how to be disciplined, so she learns those skills. And not just for the next month. You should plan on doing this in the fall as well.
How old is your child, and what is your professional background in mental health issues?
20, 18, and 10. I have been through this with my 20 year old. I am not a mental health professional, and suggest OP seek treatment for that as well. I struggle with anxiety myself, and have felt the paralysis to get projects started/finished. But mental health issues don’t preclude learning good study/time management/project management skills. Especially for a kid who is college-bound.
In fact, OP's child is in therapy!
Mental health issues certainly can preclude learning good study/time management/project management skills, just like physical health issues can preclude learning skills like walking, riding a bike, or driving a car.
Ok. Then OP should get an accommodation for her child. Maybe one that says no assignments.
Anonymous
04/15/2023 11:00
Subject: DD struggling in AP Lang too late to drop or change class
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Thanks. We have the free tutor and now are getting Varsity tutors too. She has not turned in a few assignments and is timid to ask teacher for rewrites /help (severe social anxiety—seeing a therapist). She is reaching out to teacher via email tonight. We have spoken with teacher via email about social anxiety issue related to class).
Will the exam Not affect her grade? I thought the same, fix the grade don’t worry about the exam but her counselor told me she was not sure if exam did not count toward grade?
Thanks for advice.
This is ridiculous. Of course she has a D if she hasn’t turned things in. Why are you just throwing up your hands and saying “social anxiety?” Help her get it together. Both of you go meet with the teacher and get a plan together to fix it. Don’t just stand around playing stupid while your daughter fails.
+1. Don't diagnose, instill self discipline.
Maybe you can explain how the OP is supposed to "instill self-discipline" into a junior in high school who is not turning in assignments due to diagnosed severe social anxiety?
I’m guessing the assignment wasn’t completed. I think OP’s daughter is in over her head and is probably experiencing some paralysis because of her anxiety.
Without knowing OP’s home environment, my suggestion is to tighten up at home. Take phones away during homework and sleeping time. Sit with her while she does her homework, to make sure it’s getting done. At the beginning of the week, review projects and deadlines and come up with smaller deadlines for the bigger projects (outline by X, first draft by y, meet with the teacher and revise by Z, etc). Get her a project planner for this. Basically show her how to be disciplined, so she learns those skills. And not just for the next month. You should plan on doing this in the fall as well.
How old is your child, and what is your professional background in mental health issues?
20, 18, and 10. I have been through this with my 20 year old. I am not a mental health professional, and suggest OP seek treatment for that as well. I struggle with anxiety myself, and have felt the paralysis to get projects started/finished. But mental health issues don’t preclude learning good study/time management/project management skills. Especially for a kid who is college-bound.
In fact, OP's child is in therapy!
Mental health issues certainly can preclude learning good study/time management/project management skills, just like physical health issues can preclude learning skills like walking, riding a bike, or driving a car.
Anonymous
04/15/2023 10:09
Subject: DD struggling in AP Lang too late to drop or change class
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Thanks. We have the free tutor and now are getting Varsity tutors too. She has not turned in a few assignments and is timid to ask teacher for rewrites /help (severe social anxiety—seeing a therapist). She is reaching out to teacher via email tonight. We have spoken with teacher via email about social anxiety issue related to class).
Will the exam Not affect her grade? I thought the same, fix the grade don’t worry about the exam but her counselor told me she was not sure if exam did not count toward grade?
Thanks for advice.
This is ridiculous. Of course she has a D if she hasn’t turned things in. Why are you just throwing up your hands and saying “social anxiety?” Help her get it together. Both of you go meet with the teacher and get a plan together to fix it. Don’t just stand around playing stupid while your daughter fails.
+1. Don't diagnose, instill self discipline.
Maybe you can explain how the OP is supposed to "instill self-discipline" into a junior in high school who is not turning in assignments due to diagnosed severe social anxiety?
I’m guessing the assignment wasn’t completed. I think OP’s daughter is in over her head and is probably experiencing some paralysis because of her anxiety.
Without knowing OP’s home environment, my suggestion is to tighten up at home. Take phones away during homework and sleeping time. Sit with her while she does her homework, to make sure it’s getting done. At the beginning of the week, review projects and deadlines and come up with smaller deadlines for the bigger projects (outline by X, first draft by y, meet with the teacher and revise by Z, etc). Get her a project planner for this. Basically show her how to be disciplined, so she learns those skills. And not just for the next month. You should plan on doing this in the fall as well.
How old is your child, and what is your professional background in mental health issues?
20, 18, and 10. I have been through this with my 20 year old. I am not a mental health professional, and suggest OP seek treatment for that as well. I struggle with anxiety myself, and have felt the paralysis to get projects started/finished. But mental health issues don’t preclude learning good study/time management/project management skills. Especially for a kid who is college-bound.
Anonymous
04/15/2023 10:04
Subject: DD struggling in AP Lang too late to drop or change class
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Thanks. We have the free tutor and now are getting Varsity tutors too. She has not turned in a few assignments and is timid to ask teacher for rewrites /help (severe social anxiety—seeing a therapist). She is reaching out to teacher via email tonight. We have spoken with teacher via email about social anxiety issue related to class).
Will the exam Not affect her grade? I thought the same, fix the grade don’t worry about the exam but her counselor told me she was not sure if exam did not count toward grade?
Thanks for advice.
This is ridiculous. Of course she has a D if she hasn’t turned things in. Why are you just throwing up your hands and saying “social anxiety?” Help her get it together. Both of you go meet with the teacher and get a plan together to fix it. Don’t just stand around playing stupid while your daughter fails.
+1. Don't diagnose, instill self discipline.
Maybe you can explain how the OP is supposed to "instill self-discipline" into a junior in high school who is not turning in assignments due to diagnosed severe social anxiety?
I’m guessing the assignment wasn’t completed. I think OP’s daughter is in over her head and is probably experiencing some paralysis because of her anxiety.
Without knowing OP’s home environment, my suggestion is to tighten up at home. Take phones away during homework and sleeping time. Sit with her while she does her homework, to make sure it’s getting done. At the beginning of the week, review projects and deadlines and come up with smaller deadlines for the bigger projects (outline by X, first draft by y, meet with the teacher and revise by Z, etc). Get her a project planner for this. Basically show her how to be disciplined, so she learns those skills. And not just for the next month. You should plan on doing this in the fall as well.
How old is your child, and what is your professional background in mental health issues?
I didn't write this, but I agree with it... mother of 4 (two with extreme anxiety/OCD), youngest is a Senior in hs (two done with college and one is a Junior) and I'm a MSW.
This strategy won't cure anxiety, but most of the time people with anxiety are "avoidant." Sitting down with mom to get started on homework, practicing accountability and feeling successfully organized WILL alleviate some of her anxiety. Trust me, feeling like a failure adds to anxiety.
Anonymous
04/15/2023 09:59
Subject: DD struggling in AP Lang too late to drop or change class
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Ugh.
Here is the problem with MCPS.
The grading system, ParentVue, etc, doesn't work well enough for parents to be able to see if kids are turning in assignments on time.
In addition, most teachers just let kids skate and if they don't turn in assignments, oh well, that's on them! THey will just get a D.
So the kids are not held accountable.
And yes, ideally, kids are organized enough to stay on top of their work and be diligent and turn it all in on their own.
But they are kids!
Personally I think MCPS needs a better system that shows what is due and when and whether they have been turned in. Kids should get a couple days grace period and if it hasn't been turned in by the deadline, an email automatically goes out to parents and kid. Kid has two days to turn in assignment but has a few points taken off.
When I was in school,. you had to turn your assignments in in person. The teacher would say, turn your assignment in, she would count them, and if yours wasn't there, she would publically shame you by asking you why you had not turned your assignment in. Parents would be called.
Now teachers are just like, whatever. And the parents can't figure out because the system doesn't update well!
I would agree with this after trying to help my son catch up on work after being out a lot due to illness. Every time I thought he was caught up, a teacher would post another 0 on a test or assignment that he had missed.
If that teacher is like me (AP Lang teacher from above), it is because I have waited to enter a 0 in the grade book in order to remind the student several times to submit the assignment. The zero is an admission of defeat for me.