Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a laundry service, you still need to put the clothes away! Otherwise, you’ll just have bags of folded laundry lying around, same as what you have now, essentially.

Op here. That’s what I’ve always wondered too. And I hang a ton of stuff up. If they’d hang it, that’d be awesome. At least to get me caught up

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay a woman to come twice per week do to laundry and tidy and even food prep when we get our act together to meal plan.

It's the best $200/week I could ever spend.

This sounds amazing. If you can find some one to do this I would.

I pay someone to drive my DC to an activity 20 minutes away, stay for the 1 the lesson and bring them home. It’s been fantastic- DC lives the time and I knock stuff out instead of sitting in the car. This person has a full time job but I pay very well so it’s worth it to them 1x per week. Highly recommend.

Also, I work in an industry where part time is not common either but I asked for a reduced hour load and they were afraid I’d leave so they gave it to me. If you can do 30-34 hours a week it’s pretty seamless. I think working very part time like 15 hours a week or less is harder to swing in most industries. If you would like that, see if it’s an option. You might be surprised.

PS I understand the need for a lot of activities. My kid has ADHD and lots and lots of exercise helps more than almost anything else. Just playing in the yard with friends doesn’t do it. Obviously many kids are not like this but I totally get it.

Thank you. DC doesn't have ADHD but staying busy is best for them. Plus it's a physical activity and lots of exercise just does a lot for DC's disposition.

I wish people would stop saying we are overscheduled when this is what works best for DC. And that's often why I stay on the long days so I can at least see DC on breaks and eat dinner together.

But you are overscheduled. You're letting your child's interests dictate your schedule in a way that prevents you from getting basic household tasks done. That's why you're exhausted. People limit their kids' choices based on what they can afford/how much time they have all the time. That's parenting.

Either scale back or outsource more. Those are your choices.

That's not what people mean when they talk about a child being "overscheduled". OP explained that her DC only actually does 1-2 activities at a time, but they are competitive and time consuming. Those are the kinds of activities that are actually the most worthwhile and from which your child will reap real benefit. I'd rather have some piles of clean, but unfolded, laundry than rip a passion away from my child. (Although I have neither situation -- I have a part-time housekeeper who does the household tasks I can't get to.) OP have you said somewhere that you adverse to hiring paid help or can't afford it? If not, just do so. You seem to have made it work with physically being able to get your kid where they need to go; that's actually usually the hard part. The areas where you are falling short -- e.g., laundry -- are the easy-peasy ones to outsource (assuming $$ obviously).

If the child’s activity schedule is creating difficulties for parents, then the family is overscheduled. It doesn’t really matter whether it’s one activity or ten. OP said her child is early elementary. “Ripping away a passion” sounds a bit dramatic for a kid that age. At some point a choice was made to sign the child up for an activity that is unusually time consuming for a young kid. This isn’t a high schooler who has slowly built up their commitment to something over time, who can be part of a carpool and/or get themselves to the activity. Most parents think about what kind of time they realistically have before signing up for something like this. It’s ok to tell kids no. Based on what OP has said it sounds like she has a hard time setting boundaries both at work and at home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay a woman to come twice per week do to laundry and tidy and even food prep when we get our act together to meal plan.

It's the best $200/week I could ever spend.

This sounds amazing. If you can find some one to do this I would.

I pay someone to drive my DC to an activity 20 minutes away, stay for the 1 the lesson and bring them home. It’s been fantastic- DC lives the time and I knock stuff out instead of sitting in the car. This person has a full time job but I pay very well so it’s worth it to them 1x per week. Highly recommend.

Also, I work in an industry where part time is not common either but I asked for a reduced hour load and they were afraid I’d leave so they gave it to me. If you can do 30-34 hours a week it’s pretty seamless. I think working very part time like 15 hours a week or less is harder to swing in most industries. If you would like that, see if it’s an option. You might be surprised.

PS I understand the need for a lot of activities. My kid has ADHD and lots and lots of exercise helps more than almost anything else. Just playing in the yard with friends doesn’t do it. Obviously many kids are not like this but I totally get it.

Thank you. DC doesn't have ADHD but staying busy is best for them. Plus it's a physical activity and lots of exercise just does a lot for DC's disposition.

I wish people would stop saying we are overscheduled when this is what works best for DC. And that's often why I stay on the long days so I can at least see DC on breaks and eat dinner together.

But you are overscheduled. You're letting your child's interests dictate your schedule in a way that prevents you from getting basic household tasks done. That's why you're exhausted. People limit their kids' choices based on what they can afford/how much time they have all the time. That's parenting.

Either scale back or outsource more. Those are your choices.

That's not what people mean when they talk about a child being "overscheduled". OP explained that her DC only actually does 1-2 activities at a time, but they are competitive and time consuming. Those are the kinds of activities that are actually the most worthwhile and from which your child will reap real benefit. I'd rather have some piles of clean, but unfolded, laundry than rip a passion away from my child. (Although I have neither situation -- I have a part-time housekeeper who does the household tasks I can't get to.) OP have you said somewhere that you adverse to hiring paid help or can't afford it? If not, just do so. You seem to have made it work with physically being able to get your kid where they need to go; that's actually usually the hard part. The areas where you are falling short -- e.g., laundry -- are the easy-peasy ones to outsource (assuming $$ obviously).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay a woman to come twice per week do to laundry and tidy and even food prep when we get our act together to meal plan.

It's the best $200/week I could ever spend.

This sounds amazing. If you can find some one to do this I would.

I pay someone to drive my DC to an activity 20 minutes away, stay for the 1 the lesson and bring them home. It’s been fantastic- DC lives the time and I knock stuff out instead of sitting in the car. This person has a full time job but I pay very well so it’s worth it to them 1x per week. Highly recommend.

Also, I work in an industry where part time is not common either but I asked for a reduced hour load and they were afraid I’d leave so they gave it to me. If you can do 30-34 hours a week it’s pretty seamless. I think working very part time like 15 hours a week or less is harder to swing in most industries. If you would like that, see if it’s an option. You might be surprised.

PS I understand the need for a lot of activities. My kid has ADHD and lots and lots of exercise helps more than almost anything else. Just playing in the yard with friends doesn’t do it. Obviously many kids are not like this but I totally get it.

Thank you. DC doesn't have ADHD but staying busy is best for them. Plus it's a physical activity and lots of exercise just does a lot for DC's disposition.

I wish people would stop saying we are overscheduled when this is what works best for DC. And that's often why I stay on the long days so I can at least see DC on breaks and eat dinner together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really starting to struggle with working a full time demanding job with a younger elementary schooler. My husband works a ton in an also demanding job. My job is as flexible as I could hope for in an industry that is notoriously inflexible, but it is not WFH, I have a commute, it's still more than 40 hours a week, dealing with external clients that have no boundaries in regards to my time. Our DC is very busy in activities, likes being busy and keeps asking for more. We have activities 4x a week. Two of those days are a short time commitment (45 min-hour) and the other 2 days are 3-4 hours each. Please don't comment that DC is overscheduled, this is how DC likes it. It's me that struggles... we are on the go constantly. There's never enough time to keep up with basic housework. We outsource cleaning 2x/mo. I do online grocery ordering, but basic things like putting clothes away after being washed are just completely neglected. Also, I used to be great at staying on top of everything and I'm just not anymore, despite it being in my calendar, I'm still missing things.

DH and I used to divide things more equally, but his job is more demanding and pays more than mine, so it's started shifting more to me. I am most definitely the primary parent. But my job is not an easy job. It requires a lot of critical thinking and management of projects, clients and employees. I just feel like something has to give. DC's childhood is flying by in a blur and I'm just stressed and tired 98% of the time.

Any advice?

But she's small. Honestly, her vote doesn't count here. Whatever her reality is, she will adjust and be happy with it. Also, sitting at home being bored in and of itself is an important thing to learn to do.

Also, teaching kids (and spouses) to pick up after themselves and stay organized IS and activity in and of itself and is a skill one needs to learn. It takes time. Lose a kid activity now, use that time to teach/implement daily chores and tidying means she learns how to do it without complaint and as part of a routine. Then, once she's got it down without it being an ordeal, you can likely use that time for more activities later as her daily chores won't take long and you will have more capacity to do more outside the house. Consider this as a life skill she needs to learn.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay a woman to come twice per week do to laundry and tidy and even food prep when we get our act together to meal plan.

It's the best $200/week I could ever spend.

This sounds amazing. If you can find some one to do this I would.

I pay someone to drive my DC to an activity 20 minutes away, stay for the 1 the lesson and bring them home. It’s been fantastic- DC lives the time and I knock stuff out instead of sitting in the car. This person has a full time job but I pay very well so it’s worth it to them 1x per week. Highly recommend.

Also, I work in an industry where part time is not common either but I asked for a reduced hour load and they were afraid I’d leave so they gave it to me. If you can do 30-34 hours a week it’s pretty seamless. I think working very part time like 15 hours a week or less is harder to swing in most industries. If you would like that, see if it’s an option. You might be surprised.

PS I understand the need for a lot of activities. My kid has ADHD and lots and lots of exercise helps more than almost anything else. Just playing in the yard with friends doesn’t do it. Obviously many kids are not like this but I totally get it.

Thank you. DC doesn't have ADHD but staying busy is best for them. Plus it's a physical activity and lots of exercise just does a lot for DC's disposition.

I wish people would stop saying we are overscheduled when this is what works best for DC. And that's often why I stay on the long days so I can at least see DC on breaks and eat dinner together.

But you are overscheduled. You're letting your child's interests dictate your schedule in a way that prevents you from getting basic household tasks done. That's why you're exhausted. People limit their kids' choices based on what they can afford/how much time they have all the time. That's parenting.

Either scale back or outsource more. Those are your choices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay a woman to come twice per week do to laundry and tidy and even food prep when we get our act together to meal plan.

It's the best $200/week I could ever spend.

This sounds amazing. If you can find some one to do this I would.

I pay someone to drive my DC to an activity 20 minutes away, stay for the 1 the lesson and bring them home. It’s been fantastic- DC lives the time and I knock stuff out instead of sitting in the car. This person has a full time job but I pay very well so it’s worth it to them 1x per week. Highly recommend.

Also, I work in an industry where part time is not common either but I asked for a reduced hour load and they were afraid I’d leave so they gave it to me. If you can do 30-34 hours a week it’s pretty seamless. I think working very part time like 15 hours a week or less is harder to swing in most industries. If you would like that, see if it’s an option. You might be surprised.

PS I understand the need for a lot of activities. My kid has ADHD and lots and lots of exercise helps more than almost anything else. Just playing in the yard with friends doesn’t do it. Obviously many kids are not like this but I totally get it.

Thank you. DC doesn't have ADHD but staying busy is best for them. Plus it's a physical activity and lots of exercise just does a lot for DC's disposition.

I wish people would stop saying we are overscheduled when this is what works best for DC. And that's often why I stay on the long days so I can at least see DC on breaks and eat dinner together.

But you are overscheduled. You're letting your child's interests dictate your schedule in a way that prevents you from getting basic household tasks done. That's why you're exhausted. People limit their kids' choices based on what they can afford/how much time they have all the time. That's parenting.

Either scale back or outsource more. Those are your choices.

Anonymous wrote:OP you can’t have two people working out of the house 40+ hours and young kids without some help unless you’re fine with being really stressed all the time and not sleeping enough. You need a nanny/housekeeper/au pair type person. That’s reality.

Anonymous wrote:If you have a laundry service, you still need to put the clothes away! Otherwise, you’ll just have bags of folded laundry lying around, same as what you have now, essentially.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay a woman to come twice per week do to laundry and tidy and even food prep when we get our act together to meal plan.

It's the best $200/week I could ever spend.

This sounds amazing. If you can find some one to do this I would.

I pay someone to drive my DC to an activity 20 minutes away, stay for the 1 the lesson and bring them home. It’s been fantastic- DC lives the time and I knock stuff out instead of sitting in the car. This person has a full time job but I pay very well so it’s worth it to them 1x per week. Highly recommend.

Also, I work in an industry where part time is not common either but I asked for a reduced hour load and they were afraid I’d leave so they gave it to me. If you can do 30-34 hours a week it’s pretty seamless. I think working very part time like 15 hours a week or less is harder to swing in most industries. If you would like that, see if it’s an option. You might be surprised.

PS I understand the need for a lot of activities. My kid has ADHD and lots and lots of exercise helps more than almost anything else. Just playing in the yard with friends doesn’t do it. Obviously many kids are not like this but I totally get it.

Thank you. DC doesn't have ADHD but staying busy is best for them. Plus it's a physical activity and lots of exercise just does a lot for DC's disposition.

I wish people would stop saying we are overscheduled when this is what works best for DC. And that's often why I stay on the long days so I can at least see DC on breaks and eat dinner together.